Introduction
Infidelity refers to the act of unfaithfulness by a sexual partner and in most cases a spouse. It could also be regarded as a situation in which a spouse is adulterous or a partner is disloyal. Infidelity normally causes a lot of havoc in a relationship because of the betrayal of trust that is associated with it. As such, the partner who has been cheated on tends to harbor a lot of bitterness and anger. In my case, I would forgive my partner for cheating on me because of a number of reasons. Furthermore, I would do so through a step-by-step process which would ensure that the same problem does not recur.
Yes, if my partner cheated on me I would forgive him depending on the circumstances. If my partner is remorseful about his actions and asks for my forgiveness I would forgive him most especially if it is the first time he is cheating on me. On the contrary, if he has ever cheated before I would be hesitant and would not forgive him because he is likely to cheat on me again. However, I will undertake a step-by-step process in my journey to forgiving my partner so that we can be able to rebuild the relationship and make changes on those areas that led him to cheat.
The first step towards reconciliation with my partner would be to discuss the issue of his cheating with him. This will give him an opportunity to explain the reasons why he cheated. Holding this discussion may be difficult but it is important, as this is the only way to understand the reason for his actions and to know where to make corrections. More importantly, is that this discussion will make it possible for me to assess the level of his sincerity. At this point I will not be judgmental I will just give him a listening ear so that I can get the clear picture. The second step will be to express my feelings about his cheating. This will give me an avenue to tell him how deeply I was hurt by his unfaithfulness. At this point I can even cry because it is the only way I can let go of my pain. It is only when I am truly healed that I can heal and revive our relationship.
The third step would be to eventually make my decision on whether or not I should forgive my partner. If I sensed some sincerity in our discussion and felt that the same situation would not recur I would forgive him. The fourth step would be to seek for the assistance of a counselor. Taking this initiative is important because we will be able to get professional advice on the ways in which we can sustain the relationship and what we can do to avoid any future cases of infidelity. Finally, the best thing to do would be to move on and try to overcome the painful incident. Infidelity normally causes a lot of pain especially to the partner who was hurt. Even so, I will try to make a success of the relationship by focusing on the future and by ensuring that we both work towards the success of the relationship.
In addition to this steps I would forgive my partner because of the benefits derived from forgiving a partner who was unfaithful. To begin with, forgiveness enables us to let go of any bitterness and grudges that we may harbor against our partner. As such, one is able to have a clear mind and even love and care for their partner without constantly remembering of the past. Furthermore, an individual’s failure to forgive would affect their subsequent relationships because they would still carry the same pain to the next relationship. Even worse is that the failure to forgive may lead one to become resentful and sink into depression and this is harmful to an individual’s health. So in a sense by forgiving I will be doing myself a favor because my mind will be freed.
Forgiveness enables an individual to be mentally stable and prevents one from engaging in the common vices like substance abuse and the excessive drinking of alcohol in an attempt to forget one’s problems. Taking alcohol can only relieve the pain felt by the partner who has been cheated on temporarily; on the other hand, forgiveness is permanent and leaves one feeling at peace with themselves and those around them. Another positive aspect to forgiveness is that it shows acceptance. Acceptance is important if one is to move on. Through acceptance, the spouse who has been cheated on can be able to move on or even relate well with their partner should they stay in the relationship.
Conclusion
In as much as infidelity may be a very painful experience, forgiveness is necessary. Forgiveness is important whether or not the relationship will go on. This is because failure to forgive could lead an individual to carry resentment, mistrust, anger and bitterness onto their next relationship. In the case where a partner is willing to rebuild their relationship even after being cheated on, forgiveness is the best way to go. Forgiveness, if properly handled after infidelity, and taken through a step-by –step process is likely to give a couple fruitful results.
