Marriage to a Spouse with Bipolar Disorder
There are various challenges that a married couple faces in their daily lives. Some of these challenges can be withered, and the couple can continue living together in harmony in the marriage. However, there are other disturbances within a marriage that if not remedied early on, they may result in the termination of the marriage. Bipolar disorder can be one of the major challenges that spouses are faced with in a marriage relationship.
The spouses are normally faced with numerous challenges especially if they strive to maintain the marriage while trying to keep up with a spouse who suffers from the problem.
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Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that results in queer shifts in an individual’s moods, ability to function as well as their energy. It is also referred to as the ‘manic depressive illness.’ This disorder is quite severe and cannot be compared to the normal ups and downs that people normally go through. The consequences of this disorder can also be quite wide ranging and devastating of it is not diagnosed and treated in time. The effects of the disorder could lead to challenges in relationships, declining performance at school and at work or even suicide. An individual may suffer for a very long time before they are correctly diagnosed and start to receive the correct treatment.
This paper will give a narration of a situation in which a wife tries to sustain her marriage by tolerating a spouse living with the bipolar disorder condition. By describing the terrible living conditions that the wife is exposed to by the spouse, the paper will be able to justify the reasons as to why the wife should be able to disengage from the relationship without fear or regret as the disorder of the spouse may end up harming her as well as her children.
A spouse suffering from the disorder normally exhibits several symptoms that may be detectable or as in most cases, can go undetected. As it happens in most cases, the spouse does not notice that the partner has a condition that requires professional medical attention and they may try to bear with the situation in the hope that the spouse is bound to change with time. However, this change is never forthcoming and the spouse may end up stressed or traumatized by the extreme conditions of the spouse suffering from the disorder.
There are several symptoms that are exhibited by a person suffering from the ailment. Bipolar disorder results in extreme mood swings. These range from an excessively ‘high’ characterized by a sense of increased activity, to a dramatic ‘low,’ characterized by feelings of sadness and hopelessness. These dramatic periods between the lows and highs are referred to as ‘episodes’ of depression and mania (Goldberg, Perlis, Bowden, Thase, Miklowitz, Marangell, Sachs, 2009).
There are several signs and symptoms that are displayed by a spouse undergoing the manic episode. Manic episodes are categorized due to the difference in severity and the gradual progression from one level to the other. To begin with, there is Hypomania, which is a moderate or mild level episode of mania. Normally, a person experiencing hypomania feels good and it may occasionally the experience may be related to enhanced productivity and proper functioning. Consequently, even when the spouse’s close associates such as the family members recognize the sporadic mood changes as bipolar disorder, the person may vehemently deny having any problem. A person suffering from hypomania will have elevated and heightened moods. The spouse will mostly appear cheerful, excessively joyful and euphoric. The spouse is able to make jokes and will most often impress those around them by the delightful insinuations and wisecracks. There is a heightened sense of self esteem as well as self-confidence. The spouse are normally filled with a sense of grandeur and will most likely boast about their past imaginary achievements and set plans for future grander projects. However, in a few cases the spouse may exhibit irritability.
In the event that the spouse experiences this mood swings, they may become violent and without their knowledge, they may inflict injury on the wife. In the event that the couple has children, the husband may even throw them out, or even engage them in a physical confrontation with dire consequences that may leave a debilitating mark on the family.
The spouses are excessively demanding on the wife, highly temperamental and tend to be inconsiderate. Due to this reason they normally become highly dissatisfied by the efforts of the wife towards taking care of them. Much worse is the fact that they may not have accepted that they have a condition and may become overbearing on the wife. The wife, having made serious effort to sustain the ailing husband, bears the brunt of the sudden outbursts and may also become traumatized and depressed.
Additionally, the husband may begin to ignore his responsibility towards his family. As a result of the disorder, they may end up losing their job as they cannot stand other people. This will definitely weigh down on the family as he is an important bread winner for the family, and without his support, the burden squarely falls on the wife. Having to manage to take care of herself and the family in addition to an irresponsible husband is just too much to take or bear. Consequently, the wife may opt out of the marriage and stand on her own and if they have children, she may have grounds of obtaining sole custody.
When the condition worsens further, the husband may begin to abuse drugs of all kinds while exhibiting reckless behavior including such dangerous behavior as having unprotected sex. With such traits, the husband predisposes the wife to contracting diseases as well as the consequences of drug abuse. This will only serve to humiliate the woman, make her feel inferior as well as threaten her life. At this instant, the wife may have to quit the marriage in order to save herself as well as her children.
The suffering husband may also depict suicidal tendencies. At this stage of the disorder, he may lose his self esteem and will tend to view life as worthless and not worth living. Consequently, there will be rampant talk of death and attempts to take his life. At other times, due to the guilt, he may think of dying with those around him and attempt to kill those near him. This directly threatens the life of the wife and that of the children.
All these evidence depicts the terrible life that a woman will be exposed to if she chooses to remain in such a relationship. Consequently, it is of importance that she acts sooner than later and save her life. Such a situation, if not leading to her untimely death may lead to depression, financial incapacitation as well frustration. It is therefore advised that the wife should terminate the relationship earlier on before it develops into a dangerous affair that threatens her life and that of her children. Without fear, the woman should seek a divorce and permanent separation from such a husband.
References
Goldberg, J. F., Perlis, R. H., Bowden, C. L., Thase, M. E., Miklowitz, D. J., Marangell, L. B., . . . Sachs, G. S. (2009). Manic symptoms during depressive episodes in 1,380 patients with bipolar disorder: findings from the STEP-BD. [Research Support, N.I.H., Extramural]. Am J Psychiatry, 166(2), 173-181.
Ak, M., Lapsekili, N., Haciomeroglu, B., Sutcigil, L., & Turkcapar, H. (2012). Early maladaptive schemas in bipolar disorder. Psychol Psychother, 85(3), 260-267.
