There are probably very few people who have not heard the words from their wife or husband, “How much do you love me?” There are uncounted numbers of poems and song lyrics dedicated to the topic of the breadth and depth of undying passion. A constant stream of books such as “Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus” and “Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships” tout philosophies for providing understanding and excitement for couples. Romantic love may lead to the life-long commitment of a monogamous relationship, but it is generally known that the first flame of passionate love eventually settles to contentment and compatibility. Whether discussing passionate or companionate love, there are ways in which humans demonstrate their affection and it is possible to measure these actions to evaluate levels of perceived love for another person then to use the information to encourage the development of skills for extending partnerships.
We agree that love is an emotion, but it might more accurately be considered an extended emotion – a sentiment. It creates the framework for a relationship, particularly one that is best conducted long-term as in marriage. Conceptually, “love” is simply strong affection for another person (Merriam-Webster, 2016). Operationally, the goal of expressing “love” is to meet the needs of another person without personal reward (Ati.iblp.org, 2016). Psychologically, giving and receiving love for another meets personal needs of support, belonging, acceptance, and indirectly all the requirements of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Lester, 1990). It may seem a trivial topic for research, but passionate love is at least partially responsible for the desire to reproduce and raise offspring in a family unit; along with the less intense form of love, companionate love, it also shapes cultures and societies (Reis & Aron, 2008). Many criteria for mental illness depend on the ability to create and sustain significant relationships. Studies have found that married couples impact society in a positive way because married couples have better health and live longer than single people, they enjoy superior mental health and overall feelings of happiness, they have higher incomes, and their children grow up with better mental and physical health (Waite & Lehrer, 2003). For these reasons and more, scientific methods of research on love and affection have been developed using factor analysis, prototype analysis, multidimensional scaling, study of physiology, and psychological evaluations of consequences of relationships.
Masuda (2003) conducted a meta-analysis of 33 studies and concluded that in both long- and short-term relationships, there was strong evidence that romantic love increased satisfaction in the relationship. Another meta-analysis of 25 studies by Acevedo and Aron (2009) suggested that a problem in comparing research studies was a mixing of the terms of “passionate love” and “romantic love”; passionate love carried negative connotations of anxiety and obsession while romantic love is an enduring tenderness untainted by demands. Hatfield and Sprecher (1986) placed passionate love as the most intense love without inclusion of the concept of romance or obsession. Graham (2010) did separate romantic love and obsessions in his research of 19,387 people in 81 studies by meta-analysis. He found that while love was positively associated with satisfaction and longevity in relationships, obsession was negatively correlated. This result points to another reason why romantic and passionate love must be clearly defined prior to investigation.
There are multiple methods of collecting data for research on measurements of love. These include the "Inclusion of the Other in the Self (IOS) Scale (Aron, Aron & Smollan, 1992), the Influential Relationship Closeness Inventory (Berscheid, Snyder & Omoto, 1989), the Personal Relationship Inventory (Mann, 1991), Rubin’s Love Scale (Rubin, 1970), the Triadic Love Scale (Sternberg, 1986), surveys, and interviews, to name only a few. Difficulties in comparing the methods were that some methods use terms such as “infatuation” where others use “passionate love”. For instance, Rubin’s Love Scale uses 13 items and the term “romantic love” while Sternberg’s Triangular Love Scale addresses intimacy, commitment, and passion with romance as a component of passion. The method chosen for this study is Hatfield and Sprecher’s Passionate Love Scale. The reason the scale was selected was due to the extensive use and validation of the measurement over the last 30 years. It is similar to other scales in that it addresses both passionate and companionate love and uses a wide range (a scale of 1 to 9) to allow for subtle differences in degrees in the answers. The Passionate Love Scale is not as short as some of the other measurement tools with version Form A having 30 questions, there is an option to shorten it to 15. An additional question was added to each form concerning the current length of the relationship. The decision was made not to include interviews in order to avoid unintentional researcher bias. The goal of the measure of love is to determine if passionate love is crucial to happiness and longevity in a relationship in order for future research in areas of psychology, sociology, and anthropology to address the importance of love. The hypothesis is that relationships with the highest scores on feelings and expressions of love are reported to be the most secure and longest-lasting.
Methods
The hypothesis will be tested by taking a sample of adults between the ages of 21 and 70. The questionnaires will be collected from the (closest University) in the student service center and all departments located on campus including maintenance, administration, and health services. Permission from instructors will be obtained to administer the questionnaires during class times. In addition, the questionnaire will be posted to the school’s website for submission by online students. The sample population will be students, employees, and visitors to the campus over a period of three days. It is predicted that between 200 and 400 questionnaires will be collected. The questionnaire will be the Passionate Love Scale Form B created by Hatfield and Sprecher (1986); the shorter version may have promoted completion, but it was felt the longer version allows for more accurate placement of types of love into categories. The results of the study by Hatfield and Sprecher (1986) determined the scale to be highly reliable with the measure of internal consistency to be 0.94; evidence for validity was found in the same study when the higher the score on the questionnaire, the more the participants wanted to physically interact with their partners. A Turkish version of the Passionate Love Scale was administered to 150 undergraduate students and reliability was found to have a Crohn’s alpha of 0.89 and validity was measured by confirmatory factor analysis (Yildirim, Hablemitoglu & Barnett, 2014). The researcher concluded the scale was a reliable and valid measurement of passionate love.
There are 30 items on the list. Due to the method of data collection with a non-stable population, there are no additional tests or subtests to be measured. The researcher will include in the introduction of the questionnaire the reasons for the research and a statement of confidentiality (names are not to be included in the answers). In addition, there will be a statement that by completing the questionnaire, the respondent is granting implied consent to use of the information submitted. Each question will be scored from the total responses and a mean and standard deviation determined. The totals for the means and the standard deviations will be calculated. A regression analysis will be performed with predictor variables of stage of the relationship and effect of stage on the relationship. Scores will be correlated between passionate love and other indications of intimacy. Questions are rated for degrees of trust, commitment, satisfaction, desire for physical interaction, and social desirability.
Results (Hypothetical)
Hypothetically, it is expected that couples with the highest ratings for trust, commitment, satisfaction, desire for physical interaction, and social desirability will demonstrate longevity in the relationship. It is also hypothesized that the relationship of the longest duration (over 10 years) will demonstrate a lessening of passionate love while maintaining high scores in statements such as “If _____ were going through a difficult time, I would put away my own concerns to help him/her out” and “I will love _____ forever.” Relationships of shortest duration may show uncertainty in statements predicting long-term duration, but very high on statements such as “Sometimes my body trembles with excitement at the sight of _____” and “I sometimes find it difficult to concentrate on work because thoughts of _____ occupy my mind.” The highest scores are expected for the statements “Knowing that _____ cares about me makes me
feel complete” and “ _____ is the person who can make me feel happiest” because they reflect a deep feeling without an evaluation of degrees of commitment or passion; they should be high across populations and length of relationship. Although actual behaviors are not examined in the questionnaire, intentions for behaviors are stated. The rated statements on the questionnaire evaluate degrees of emotional, behavioral, and cognitive desire to be with another person intimately. Results that show a useful measure would be those that indicate the passage of time reduces the passion in a relationship, but not the commitment or desire to be with the loved one.
Discussion
The Passionate Love Scale is felt to be a reasonable measure of perceived love as self-reported by the study participants. The longer scale was used despite possible challenges in completion, but in a differently constructed study it would be preferable to administer Form A on one day and Form B several days later to determine a mean of the related statements as the same statement is reworded and the order changed in Form B. However, it would be more difficult to obtain the number of respondents in that type of data collection process than the large number anticipated from online, classroom, employee, and student center participants. The process of scoring the scale is also relatively easy, allowing for rapid calculations for results.
Previous studies on love measure intensity and relationship longevity and the results are expected to corroborate the ones reached by the author. This will further prove the reliability and validity of the Passionate Love Scale. For instance, despite the conflict in terms used to describe types of love, the conclusions by Acevedo and Aron (2009) state that when love is stable and romantic, the relationship is more satisfactory and lasts longer while in the early parts of a partnership, obsessive passion is exciting but quickly becomes a negative influence. The Passionate Love Scale will measure what the author predicted, but open avenues to investigation into the variables that promote sustained passionate and companionable love long-term.
The limitations of the measure are that there is no evaluation of ethnicity, age, educational status, income level, sexual orientation, and other variables that require investigation to determine if they have significant impact on the desirable long-term relationship. Another limitation is that almost all the respondents will live in one area. Also, some of the questions have a two-fold answer; for instance, in the statement “In the presence of ____________, I yearn to touch and be touched”, the respondent may yearn to touch the partner yet does not particularly want the touch to be returned. Finally, the element of forgiveness should be addressed since this is a strong determinant in lasting relationships.
Future research might look at patterns of passionate and companionate love. The ability to distinguish how partners view interpersonal rewards may have an impact for other researchers, counselors, teachers, and the general public. In addition, some of the variables influencing behavior may be examined to assign to specific patterns concerning the promotion of support, communication, and sexual gratification. Finally, due to confusing on terms such as “romantic love”, “passionate love”, “infatuation”, and “attachment”, the development of methods of measuring love other than self-report should progress.
Love is considered by most to be a part of life essential for a person to be happy. To promote the highest possible quality of life, encourage healthy social groups, and contribute overall to a society that is more positive and industrious, research focus on the influences on quality pairings leading to long-term relationship. The answers may hold information to teach teenagers and young adults who are just starting to learn how to form partnerships how to avoid forming damaging patterns of behavior. Couples who understand their relationship is in peril or simply stale may reach out to counselors, books, or the internet looking for guidance and insight. While there is not a recipe for creating the perfect relationship, understanding the variables that impact communication, understanding, recognition of and meeting the needs of a partner, and the development of forgiveness, caring, and other important emotions will lead to public education for improving rapport.
References
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Appendix A
The Passionate Love Scale was designed by Hatfield and Sprecher (1986).
Passionate Love Scale (Form a)
We would like to know how you feel (or once felt) about the person you love, or have loved,
most passionately. Some common terms for passionate love are romantic love, infatuation, love
sickness, or obsessive love. Please think of the person whom you love most passionately right now. If you are not in love, please think of the last person you loved. If you have never been in love, think of the person you came closest to caring for in that way. Try to describe the way you felt when your feelings were most intense.
Answers range from (1) Not at all true to (9) Definitely true.
Whom are you thinking of?
• Someone I love right now.
• Someone I once loved.
• I have never been in love.
Not
at all Definitely
true true
1. Since I’ve been involved with ____________, my emotions have been on a roller coaster.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
2. I would feel deep despair if ____________ left me.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
3. Sometimes my body trembles with excitement at the sight of ____________
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
4. I take delight in studying the movements and angles of ____________’s body.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
5. Sometimes I feel I can’t control my thought; they are obsessively on ____________.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
6. I feel happy when I am doing something to make ____________ happy.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
7. I would rather be with ____________ than anyone else.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
8. I’d get jealous if I thought ____________ were falling in love with someone else.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
9. No one else could love ____________ like I do.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
10. I yearn to know all about ____________.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
11. I want ____________ -- physically, emotionally, mentally.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
12. I will love ____________ forever.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
13. I melt when looking deeply into ____________’s eyes.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
14. I have an endless appetite for affection from ____________.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
15. For me, ____________ is the perfect romantic partner.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
16. ____________ is the person who can make me feel the happiest.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
17. I sense my body responding when ____________ touches me.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
18. I feel tender toward ____________.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
19. ____________ always seems to be on my mind.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
20. If I were separated from ____________for a long time, I would feel intensely lonely.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
21. I sometimes find it difficult to concentrate on work because thoughts of ____________
occupy my mind.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
22. I want ____________ to know me – my thoughts, my fears, and my hopes.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
23. Knowing that ____________ cares about me makes me feel complete.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
24. I eagerly look for signs indicating ____________’s desire for me.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
25. If ____________ were going through a difficult time, I would put away my own concerns to
Help him/her out.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
26. ____________ can make me feel effervescent and bubbly.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
27. In the presence of ____________, I yearn to touch and be touched.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
28. An existence without ____________ would be dark and dismal.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
29. I possess a powerful attraction for ____________.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
30. I get extremely depressed when things don’t go right in my relationship with ____________.
not at all true 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 definitely true
Total: _______
Results:
106-135 points = Wildly, even recklessly, in love.
86-105 points = Passionate, but less intense.
66-85 points = Occasional bursts of passion.
45-65 points = Tepid, infrequent passion.
15-44 points = The thrill is gone.
Additional question by researcher:
How long have you been in your current relationship?
Less than 1 year
Between 1 year and 5 years
Between 5 years and 10 years
Over 10 years
