Introduction
Based on Michel de Montaigne’s claim that it is “problematic to have both a body and a mind”, because the body’s monstrosity contrasts with the mind’s dignity (de Botton 122), is sexuality inadequate because it combines the bodily instinctive impulses with the reasoned intentions of the mind? De Montaigne’s view on the inadequacy of sexuality reflects the idea that the body is sometimes fighting against the mind, putting the mind in awkward situations, and further influencing it, as the mind develops processes that include hanging on the bodily effects, which once acted against it. When something goes sexually wrong people tend develop frustrations, as the bodily reactions are intercepted by the mind, which continues to subconsciously replay them so that they repeat, when in fact, as de Montaigne suggests, people should discuss openly about what seems to be sexual inadequacy, in order to lower the weight that hangs over their minds. My reaction to de Montaigne’s suggestions is that every time people manifest a sexual accident (a lack of erection, difficulties in reaching an orgasm, etc.), they should not take that act as an accident, but they should investigate the causes that lead to that action (better said lack of action) to occur.
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Sexual Inadequacy Description
In his essays on inadequacy, de Montaigne proposes an eloquent fresco of how the body and mind contradict each other in matters of love and sexuality, mostly. While the mind aims to attain sexual satisfaction with a partner by actively engaging in the sexual act, the body might react in opposition by not producing an erection (in men’s cases) and, as Montaigne showed, such an accidental failure can follow the individual throughout their lives, because is nurtured by the mind. The lack of an erection, just as a farting, as the philosopher explains, are exercised by the body, without the control of the mind, because the mind cannot manage these actions. Nevertheless, the mind can be influenced by such accidents and reproduce them again, being followed by the initial accident that the body produced. Therefore, it is more like the body having control over the mind and not the other way around, based on Montaigne’s examples of the man who could not have an erection with a lady and could never have before since the initial accident, thinking that whenever he might be with a woman again, his sexual organ would not listen to him and would not erect. The philosopher notices that these are self – imposed blockages that people must learn to overpass, knowing that body and mind are different entities put together to assure the full functionality of individuals, which must coexist and harmonize for the sake of the individual.
Solutions to Sexual Inadequacy
De Montaigne’s suggestion according to which people should be open and talk about their sexual accidents in elevated circles, in order to break down the tension and to liberate the individual from the heavy weight of frustration that he is carrying on his shoulders might be a solution, but I consider that this should not be the first solution. Moreover, in any way, before opting for this solution, the individual should clearly reflect on how this decision of discussing about sexual problems with others can further affect him.
The first solution to solving the sexual problems, when they arise, is to implement an introspective analysis, in order to understand why did the problem occurred and what generated it. There might be various causes for which, for instance, the lack of an erection can appear, such as the over anticipation of the moment, something unpleasant surprised about the partner, an subconscious feeling of guilt, etc. Acting impulsively and falling down into a frustration caused by a once in a lifetime failure actually generates the sexual inadequacy, when the body and the mind are not harmonized, but on the contrary, acting against each other.
Investigating the causes that lead to a sexual failure might tell the individual something about himself, something that he did not know, regarding his psychology, his likes or dislikes, his attitudes and behaviors towards sexuality or specific persons. As such, instead of developing sexual frustrations because of the sexual inadequacy, individuals can learn to control their mind with their own mind and allow their body to act naturally.
De Montaigne advices the same, to let the body to be body, stating that “Upon the highest throne in the world, we are seated, still, upon our arses./Kings and philosophers shit: and so do ladies.” (de Botton 126). Therefore, regardless of the grace, of the greatness or of the intellect, people share a common aspect: the nature. The human nature includes having a body and a mind and while the mind develops differently from individual to individual, the body is the same for all humans, having the same primary needs.
Trying to stop these primary needs actually leads to inadequacies. Aiming to stop the sexual urges by using different methods such as “applying snow-and-vinegar compresses to their over-active testicles” (de Botton 123) means negation of the human nature. I share De Montaigne’s view at this point and I consider that restricting, forbidding or acting against the bodily instincts is unnatural and unhealthy for individual, and this can lead to further complications, disrupts and non-functionalities.
Arguments
One may argue that the sexual accidents might occur as a dysfunction of the body and that the mind is simply nurturing a bodily inadequacy for further developing it into a sexual inadequacy. For this argument I can only respond that the sexual dysfunctions, as any other dysfunctions, can be cured, through various treatments or medical interventions, considering the nowadays medical advancements. What is more difficult to cure is the mind, the source of distress, which many times aliments the lack of potency, the lack of sexual appetite, the lack of erection, etc. or, as de Montaigne claims, “Except for genuine impotence, never again are you incapable if you are capable of doing it once” (de Botton 124).
De Montaigne proposes a strong response for a potential argument that would sustain sexual inadequacy as natural, but I consider it to tough, somewhat extreme. While I agree with the fact that the sexuality is natural and a healthy sexuality is the result of the harmony between body and mind, I believe that the mind has a significant contribution upon the bodily expression in sexual acts. As such, a positive mind, directed towards attaining sexual energy can result in sexual energy. On the contrary, if the mind is set on negative aspect, either of sexual or non – sexual aspect, this can be reflected in the quality of the sexual act, and although the body would be prepared and capable for the sexual act, the mind would sabotage the body and the sexual act, for that matter.
What might be another critic of the sexual inadequacy as the result of the quarrel between the body and the mind is the fact that the other partner might create an indisposition for sex, which repeated can generate into a sexual problem, nurtured by the mind, set on thinking that the partner is sexually rejecting the individual because of something regarding his/her body. In response to this argument, I would state that indeed, the partner has a major significance for the quality of the sexual act and can influence one’s sexual mood. However, it is the sexual mood that the partner’s lack of sexual appetite can impact. Of course, if repeated constantly and for a long period of time, it might lead to developing sexual frustrations. But there are solutions to avoiding reaching there: communicate or break up are just two of them.
Conclusion
An attentive analysis of how body and mind act in relation to sexual act reflects that what seems as the dysfunctions of the body are often the reactions of a negative mind, influencing the sexual performance also and generating like this the sexual inadequacy. The solution to this problem should be first to apply an in – depth introspective analysis for understanding what dynamics of mind lead to the body dysfunction and to discuss about the problem primary with the partner and then in public, being well aware of the outcomes of a public discussion about the sexual inadequacy. In conclusion, Michel de Montaigne’s theory about sexual inadequacy, based on the claim that when body and mind are not on the same page sexual inadequacy occurring is confirmed in this essay.
Works Cited
De Botton, Allan. Consolations of Philosophy. London: Pengtuing Group. 2001. Print.
