Alcoholism is destructive and affects not only the addict but those around them as well. I fell into alcohol addiction after he was made redundant from his job. Although it was clear to others that I had a problem, because I wouldn’t acknowledge my addiction to alcohol, no one could help me.
I lost my job when I was thirty-nine. I had a wife and two teenage sons to support, and redundancy left me devastated. I went from being the main bread winner to having no income at all. This caused me to row with my wife about money, the overall result being that I felt useless and like I had failed my family. I was looking for work but, as my education and skills were limited, it was a difficult task. Furthermore, I was a proud man and didn’t want to apply for any jobs which I felt were “beneath” me. I remember visiting my sister’s house and telling her how there were no real jobs about but that something would come up that was just right. I tried to be positive and optimistic around other people, but I was struggling inside.
I had always been in the habit of having two or three cans of lager of an evening, while watching television or playing with my boys. However, after a month or so into my unemployment, I started to drink in the mornings as well, just to take the edge off my emotions. I knew that people were gossiping that they had seen me at the local pub three mornings in a row. This gossip started to get back to my children at school. When they mentioned it to my wife, she said that I was fine and that I just liked to have someone to chat to, hence visiting the pub more often. However, another month passed and I still didn’t secure a job. Furthermore, I was no longer even looking for work. I was at the pub every day, for most of the day. When one of my sons had an important soccer match one afternoon, I turned up at the school drunk. I made inappropriate comments to some of the female teachers and was generally a nuisance. My children were ashamed and my oldest son eventually ordered me to go home.
Alcoholism tore my family apart and had deeply affected all of us. They all loved me, but my alcoholism made me impossible to be around. I turned down countless offers of help and support, leaving those close to me little choice but to walk away. I am now recovering, but I will never regain what I lost as a result of my addiction.
