a) Problems with the letter
Communication is an essential part of establishing business relations. Letters are to be such that they can impress the readers, hold their attention and also help maintain strong and cordial relations with them. The main problem with the letter is that there is no information that can help the seller to improvise on the product. There is no information on how it is possible to improve the product and meet their specifications. This creates an important part of letter writing and maintaining long term relationships in order to ensure that there be continuity in business relations and also that there be further action. Moreover, lack of courtesy and grammar errors makes the letter weaker. It is essential that these elements be rectified in order to make the letter professional and courteous. The letter needs a thorough editing and proofreading in order to address these issues. Also, it does not use an indirect approach and this makes the negative message sound harsh. The audience would not find this letter pleasant and it is important that the customer is not made to think in a negative manner about the firm or lose interest in a tie up with the firm.
b) Rewriting the message to improve its effectiveness
Sterling Manufacturing
133 Industrial Avenue
Gary, IN 46403
Dear Ms Wilson,
Thank you very much for your offer to partner with Home Depot for launching your product. Your innovative presentation did impress us. It is important for us to continue having a healthy professional relationship with you in the future.
The product review sessions occur annually. It is also possible for us to obtain a copy of the review for you and this can help you establish better changes in the product. In this way the chances for the product to be accepted by our panel can increase effectively. It can help you understand our strategic objectives in a better manner. We also cordially inform you to come again and participate in the presentations for launching new products. We eagerly look forward to establish a long term partnership with you.
Hilary Buchman
Buffer for situation a:
I would like to take this opportunity to earnestly thank you for your sincere efforts to coordinate with us and help us plan our event at your banquet hall.
