Essay Review – Dug Your Own Hole
- The introductory paragraph of the essay manages to hold the attention of the reader with its strong direct message, enhanced by the personal experience of the writer. The writer manages to familiarize himself to the reader right at the beginning of the essay but he might need to tone down the subjective tone of the essay in future since not every reader may be able to relate to his experiences.
- A distinct thesis statement is present right at the start of the introduction which helps the reader to grasp the overall concept of the essay without putting in too much effort.
- It is not explicitly mentioned who the audience of the essay happens to be by the end of the essay but it deals with a topic that should be of interest to families, especially in the States, economists, adolescents and people in debt.
- The expository purpose of the paper can be understood clearly by the end of the introduction. The writer states his intentions clearly and though subjective to some extent, it comes across as interesting. The writer ends his introduction with a sharp closing statement that might indirectly break it off from the body of the essay.
- Affluenza is introduced in an effective manner and the writer manages to sum up its contents in a short but effective manner.
- Every paragraph in the essay contains a precise topic sentence that helps emphasize the topic of the essay.
- The topic sentence in most of the paragraphs offers an overview of the points that are going to be covered in the paragraph. Some paragraphs briefly mention the topic sentence and then use examples to illustrate the point in an effective manner.
- The topic sentence of every paragraph of the essay succeeds in the support and development of the thesis statement and they contain sufficient related references to back the thesis.
- Most of the paragraphs contain topic sentences that indicate the approach that the remainder of the content of the specific paragraph is going to adopt from Cause/ Effect/ Solution.
- The essay body contains two specific and pertinent examples from Affluenza that help support the topic sentence. The effectiveness of the examples is considerable since they drive the core point home to the reader without detracting from the overall topic. In my opinion, the use of a different piece of evidence might actually reduce the quality of the essay.
- The writer uses several quotes – facts, figures, terms – in his essay, most of which fit perfectly into the essay. But there are a few that stand out in an awkward manner, such as the quotes in the third paragraph. The writer needs to understand that it is better not to cite examples directly from texts. Personal experience always appeals more to the reader.
- Some of the paraphrased material in the essay does resemble the original source to a significant extent and should refrain from doing the same in the future. The writer has taken words and phrases from Affluenza and quoted them directly in the essay. Some of them conform to the essay topic but some like the ones in the third paragraph are complete unnecessary and the purpose would have been better served through personal experiences.
- Every example in the essay derived from Affluenza starts with a signal phrase and ends with an in-text citation while the punctuation and format for the in-text document in the essay happen to be in order.
- Every paragraph except the conclusion of the essay contains examples synthesized by the writer from his own knowledge or personal experience. They help to enhance the quality of the essay and allow the reader to relate to the writer. The examples are completely appropriate and descriptive and every single one of them meshes perfectly well with the topic of the essay.
- The writer of the essay has a distinct yet methodical style of writing. He/ she puts forward a statement related to the topic and then follows it up with sufficient examples. Under normal circumstances, this approach would have seemed boring and monotonous but the tone of the writing as well as the amusing personal experiences and encounters with debt manage to alleviate the quality of the essay above the rest. The order of the essay helps the body of each paragraph to logically follow the topic sentence of the last paragraph.
- The transitions in the topic sentences are subtle but they exist and help in the organization of the paragraphs of the body. They are expertly executed and do not allow every paragraph to seem separate but as part of the whole essay.
- Each paragraph of the body of the essay has a distinct pattern of organization that successfully supports the essay topic. The structure used by the writer helps link each paragraph perfectly with the other and gives the entire essay a clean and uncluttered feel.
- The transitions between supporting examples and evidence are present in every paragraph of the essay body. Some could have been clearer but they are present nonetheless and serve to enhance the essay structure.
- The conclusion, in my opinion, is one of the weak points of the essay. The writer has not made the mistake of simply restating the thesis in the conclusion yet it does not actually enhance the overall essay. He simply rehashes what has been stated in the previous paragraphs and organizes them in a comprehensive manner. It serves more as a summary than a conclusion.
- The supporting points of the essay have been compacted and summarized in an efficient manner in the conclusion of the essay. The summary packs a lot of punch without sounding repetitive but readers may be put off by the lack of a clear closing statement.
- The conclusion could have been better when it is compared to the rest of the essay. It lacks drive and does not leave the reader with the sense of thrill that comes from reading.
- The best part about the essay I think is its compactness. The essay is not too long but manages to cover every single relevant point regarding the debt situation in America. The tone of the essay is subjective but shows drive and passion. The writer succeeds in making a dull topic very interesting through personal experiences and anecdotes.
- The writer must try to alter the ending of the essay so that it reads as something new instead of a good summary. Direct quotes might be limited in future as well as phrases and terms that are indigenous since they might not ring well with international readers.
