<Student Name>
<Name and Section # of course>
<Instructor Name>
A problem faced by an institution quite dear to me is the lack of communication and understanding in my family. (Blood). This lack of communication is not only present in the form of a lack of our verbal communication but also in non-verbal communication as well. As the family is small, and there are only four members to speak of, there is a constant feeling of restraint and uneasiness with talking to each other at home. My sister is in high school, and she is always busy with her school work and mostly out with her friends which make her spend a little time at home, except at night when she just has to sleep. Both of my parents work, doing different jobs and hence the nature of their work makes each of them arriving at different times during the day. My father arrives later than my mother. My mother will come home and get started on dinner and get started on other chores at home. I arrive late as well, as I am usually busy with studies and friends as well. The only time that the family communicates is over dinner, where everyday happenings and incidences are discussed. This, however, is not enough communication because the rest of the day and weekends are spent bickering or quarreling with each other because of the lack of understanding. For instance, my father would forget something my mother had told him to do, and he would complain that he forgot because he had been very busy, and my mother did not remind him. My mother would argue back that she works too, and it is hard for her to keep track of everything. My sister and I barely talk with a straight face and never have a one-on-one conversation. This gives a bad feeling regarding the future, as the family is one unit, and if this unit breaks, there is nothing left to cherish. The problem of communication can occur out of many reasons. However, it does come with effective solutions if they are carried out diligently. (Bakhru).
The first and foremost step is the realization of the problem. If the family does not realize that there actually is a problem of an absence of communication between the family members, then they cannot come toward working on the solution. (Blood). The first step then onwards, is to communicate, clearly and directly. This is when one family member is clear in conveying a message for instance, if my mother just told us that she was disappointed in us because we didn’t do the laundry or clean our rooms, then we would at least know how she feels. This is much better than a masked form of communication, where parents just go “it’s disappointing that people in this house don’t carry out their responsibilities.” (Peterson).
The most effective method of communicating, therefore is by communicating more often and talking to each other more often. The lack of exchange of ideas, information and having meaningful conversations is important. This can be done by reducing TV time and actually sitting together and talking. Matters can also be talked of over dinner. (Good Therapy). Moreover, whatever needs to be said must be clear and said directly. In a family where most of the family members are not able to spend much time together, there cannot be room for taunts or indirect talk. Hence, the clearer conversation could help boost understanding. Also, apart from just listening to what the other person said, it is important to hear that person well and actually respond to them. Being a good listener makes the other family member feel satisfied as well, and if something is heard well and then, there remains little room for complaining and arguing. It is also important that parents realize how their children need to be talked to and then they need to be dealt with on the same level. For instance, my little sister does not like being questioned a lot and she can throw tantrums if my parents ask her too much especially in an angry tone of voice. So if the parents bend towards her and be more polite and loving then perhaps my sister would reciprocate in the same way becoming more tolerant of their questioning. (Bakhru).
Additionally, there needs to be more positivity and love in the communication rather than the usual negativity. Positivity can come from appreciation, consideration of the other family member’s hard work and a cut-down on judgments, criticism, contempt, and anger. Being positive is a sign of tolerance toward each other that can actually improve the atmosphere at home and make living with each other more pleasant and bearable. (LDS).
Another aspect of improving communication is to place more focus on the strengths of what makes the family, a family. (Peterson). For instance, of there is a particular event, a day or a moment that brings the family together then that day can be used as the means to making the environment at home much better. For instance, I remember in my childhood, celebrating our birthdays was a time when we four people used to come together as a family. However, as we grew up, birthdays were usually celebrated better with friends and our parents’ busy schedules actually added to that reason. Therefore, if parents realize that spending their important days with their children is necessary, then it can help to bring the family closer together, instill love and understanding and be more open with each other. Also, if the family members talked more with each other rather than keep their emotions bottled up, then it could break the ice and communication would flow with ease. (Good Therapy).
Conclusively, communication is a problem in the most family as well as mine. Fueled by the lack of togetherness, the family can be brought closer by opening more with each other, communicating clearly, and making out more time for each other. They can begin to act more positively with each other which will also prove helpful. The key is to prioritize family over everything else.
Work Cited
Bakhru, Komal. Communication Problems in Families. Buzzle. 19 Oct 2011. Web. 3 July 2015.
Blood, Michelle. A Lack of Communication in the Family. Livestrong. 9 Jan 2014. Web. 3 July 2015.
Good Therapy. Communication Issues in the family. 2015. Web. 3 July 2015.
LDS. Challenges Facing Families. LDS Family Services. 2015. Web. 3 July 2015.
Peterson, Rick. Families First-Keys to successful family functioning: Communication. Virginia Cooperative Extension. 1 May 2009. Web. 3 July 2015.
