The recent past has seen an increase in adoption instances by same sex couples. This has drawn sharp criticism from many quarters as well as support in almost equal measure. This subject has however remained open ended as many support groups have chosen to stand by it while other sections of the citizenry have openly objected to it. All in all, gay parents have been given a go ahead to adopt but one question that seems not to be getting a rightful answer is whether this is right or wrong and whether such parentage is justifiable (Bozett 87). The bottom line still remains clear, that if they can offer the love, support, care and goodwill that straight parents offer, then why not allow them the simple right of adopting and raising children. Given a chance, they can deliver and therefore, gay parents are as good as straight ones.
The first consideration to be looked at from the positions of both same sex parents and straight parents is that it is quite irrelevant to look at sexual orientation to judge whether one can make a good parent or not. It does not just stop as a straight parentage to bring up children in the right ways that befit an individual and society. The back stops at a pair of parents, who are of the same sex or opposite sex to offer an environment where children can feel loved, cared for and being given all that befits a proper upbringing (Player 211). It therefore goes without saying that parenthood goes beyond the sexual orientation of the parents involved as long as the parents in question can deliver what society expects and give the children the upbringing that will be fit them at individual levels.
Mucciaroni acknowledges the fact that society is warming up to the fact that same sex marriages exist and the moment these couples continue to be banished, their parental potential may never be realized because many of them can indeed make good parents (42). Discrimination against same sex marriages and later on adoption today is condemned by people who want to isolate themselves from real issues that are affecting the world today. It is for this reason and many more that people need to open up and accept the changing trends in society in an effort to accommodate each other. One wonders why it is so easy to condemn these parents who are willing to help needy children by giving them a home and the so much love and attention that they yearn for. If straight parents can make good parents, so can same sex couples.
Parenting is an art that seeks not to discriminate those willing to offer their services for this noble cause. It goes without saying that no matter who brings up a child, what really matters is whether this is done in the right way that is acceptable by society (Caroll 48). There are very many ideologies that have been put forth regarding this subject on who is supposed to bring up a child and how this is supposed to be done but the bottom line is that as long as the child is brought up in an ideal environment that offers the child all the comforts that are considered necessary. Family units have changed over time from the traditional model of a father, mother and children to same sex partners wanting to adopt and have a child they can call their own. It is high time that society accepted this and moved on.
Children have a right to grow up in a loving environment where all their basic needs and wants are met. At the moment, there are hundreds of thousands of children in foster homes in need of families and a place that they can call home. Almost half of these children end up with straight couples as parents and the other half to same sex couples. If these same sex couples don’t come out to ask for these children to take care of them, chances are that these children will grow up in these foster homes. The question that comes up in this scenario is whether it is worth it denying these children the joy of having families or these parents the joy of having children that they may never have at least biologically (Cahil 23). So it is not worth it for the society not to accept the changing times and accept these same sex families and respect them for this very important role they are playing not only to the world but more specifically to these children in need of love and affection through a family.
It does not really matter who the parents of adopted children are as long as these children get the love, care and support they would have gotten if they were to be with their biological parents. Actually this is the policy that is applied whenever anyone seeks to adopt a child. Their capability to stand in for the biological parents is put on focus and therefore when same sex married partners seeks to adopt, this is the factor that ought to be considered. By being homosexuals or lesbians does not really mean that their paternal and maternal instincts die or anything like that. It simply means that that is the kind of life that they have chosen to lead and that if there are other ways of getting children to bring up are there, they can exploit them. As long as their parenting virtues are in place, they can never be barred from doing exactly that. One more thing that society should look at before judging them is that theirs is a matter of choice just like heterosexual couples and this should not be used as a reason to bar them from parenting.
Whenever an adoption is warranted, normally, the best interests of the child remain paramount and they are the conditions that guarantee the parent to be the right to become a parent to the child. In regard to the NSW Adoption Act, which conforms to the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the child, the position of the child under any adoption setting is considered of importance (Brodzinsky & Pertman62). And so if the child in such a setting is going to be accorded all that is stipulated in the Act, then it is not wrong for same sex couples to adopt children. Then why should society keep on retracting from such ideologies. Many who do not look at such family set ups of course have their reasons of not agreeing but many of their arguments are unfounded. It may not be surprising that same sex parents bring up morally upright children more than their heterosexual counterparts but as long as the law permits, then this is for the good of both parents and the child. The law could not have acknowledged such families if it was not right.
Homosexual fathers are not any different from heterosexual fathers and the same applies to lesbian mothers who are not any different from their straight counterparts. Both face the same problems when it comes to parenting and they end up dealing with these problems in the same way (Brodzinsky & Pertman 15). This therefore makes same sex couples fit just like their counterparts whom society does not condemn. In fact there are very many examples of children from such families who end up receiving the best parenting more than those children from heterosexual marriage. This explains the fact that it does not really matter who bring up a child as long as the parent does the right things by respecting the rights of the child and offering them security as well as the basic needs that make the child comfortable and happy.
Human rights have got to be respected regardless of who is they favor. These same rights have been formulated for society to operate optimally as a result of respecting each other’s stands. In the same breath, the rights of same sex couples need to be respected too just like their heterosexual counterparts. If this happens, there will be no finger pointing that there is a superior kind of marriage to another as the back stops at what one chooses to be believe and do. Many people choose to think the worst about same sex parents but given room, they can prove that they can make worth parents to needy children who are up for adoption. All that society needs to do is try and focus on the benefits of having same sex adoption and not poke fingers at any little effort thy make to give needy children a home to grow up in. once sexual preference should in no way bar them from achieving their heart desires as well as the happiness that adoption can bring.
A controversial subject like this one never misses to have people from all sides of the divide, those who are for it and those who are against. In as much as I support the issue of same sex adoption, many people seem to oppose this stand. Many of these people are conservatives who seem not to agree with anything that goes against the traditional way of doing things. It is true that same sex adoption is an issue that has been there for a while but has received tremendous support and consideration by many people in the 21st century. Many of those who oppose can’t simply accept the fact that this can happen considering the fact that it is a new phenomenon that was loathed by society for a very long time. It is therefore high time society accepts these families and their efforts to adopt children for the common good of not only these children but also the parents who want to raise them regardless of their sexual orientation (Cahil 68).
Many of those in the opposition think that these children do not get the unique traits attributed to physical and emotional well being of an individual. Under normal circumstances, they argue that children learn a lot from making observations and not just being told what to do and what not to do. If they are exposed to these couples, they will observe the happenings in such family units behind closed doors and end up wanting to be like their parents and not what is considered right by society. This will have misled the children to believing that is the way families are supposed to be constructed. But looking at such a perspective from a positive angle, these children are not islands in the world. Through socialization and interaction they come to understand how their families are constructed and that society accepts them as they are. With such a mind set, one will not expect not to observe what goes on outside their families and it is not right to just pass such an assumption because research has proven that children from such family units end up in heterosexual marriages anyway.
The opponents of this kind of adoption may have some ground when they argue against it. It is hard enough for same sex marriages to live in a society where their actions are still stigmatized and this can even be worse for a young child living under these circumstances. The whole concept of homosexuality or lesbianism is quite controversial and when other people around the child more so fellow children get to know that one of them comes from such a background is hard enough (Hicks & MacDermott 11). This is so because these same children will have to deal with the stigma which might negatively affect them as they go about interacting with the rest of the society. Yes this is bad enough because it may in the long run affect the child physically and emotionally. But wait, if the children are given good orientation on what to expect from society and given good insights on how to deal with such stigma, they will end up not affected by stigmatization at all. The back stops at the parents and even the society to know how to handle such children because it is never their mistake nor was it their intention to end up under such circumstances.
Apart from stigma, the opponents also say that these children will undergo all forms of bullying from their peers especially when it is known that such are their families. It is hard enough for children to go through bullying of that kind because it greatly affects their social lives. Bullying that is based on the parent’s sexual orientation will therefore affect these children but this does not rule out the fact that children from heterosexual marriages will not undergo bullying. Either way, children, regardless of family backgrounds will have to deal with bullying of any kind and it rests upon the parents to orient their children on how to deal with any form of bullying. No form of bullying is better than another because bullying ends up affecting the children involved both physically and emotionally. If children from these families are taught on how to handle bullying then they will counter it just like any other child can counter any form of bullying.
It is a fact that men and women are different not only in their genetic makeup but also in every aspect of their being, be it emotionally, physically and even socially. It should therefore be clear from the onset that these two genders act and behave differently and therefore in their own rights play a very vital role in a child’s development. But in the changing world, the roles have changed and both men and women can play virtually any role in the development of a child (Knox & Schacht 53). Some factors that have made this possible are among many, the rise of feminism whereby equality among these two genders reign paramount. This is made even easier by the mere fact that men and women share roles that were traditionally supposed to be played by either gender all thanks to the degradation of the human state of being. If this is the case then there should be no reason really as to why adoption should be an issue that can lead to heated debates whether it is right or wrong. If society accepts it due to concrete reasons, then let it be accepted.
All in all, adoption should be looked from a positive perspective that impacts positively on the part of the child as well as the parents. With this in mind, same sex couples just like their heterosexual counterparts should be able to adopt children (Merin 14). Children brought up from either of the two setups end up just normal because the lifestyles of the parents do not necessarily affect the children. Whoever one wants to be is a matter of choice and it is not surprising that children from such families end up having heterosexual families themselves. One may wonder, what happens to children who are raised by families purely constructed by either men and women who are not necessarily married but who end up living like that due to some social factors? Does it make it wrong to raise children in such environments? No, absolutely not. Gay parents can then be as good as straight ones when it comes to adoption and the upbringing of children.
Works Cited
Bozett, Fredrick. Gay and Lesbian Parents. New York: Praeger Publishers. 1987
Brodzinsky, David & Pertman, Adam. Adoption by Lesbians and Gay Men: A New Dimension in Family Diversity. New York: Oxford University Press. 2011
Cahill, S. Robert. Same Sex Marriage in the United States: Focus on the Facts. Oxford: Lexington Books. 2004
Carroll, Janell. Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity. Belmont: Cengage Learning
Hicks, Stephen & MacDermott, Janet. Lesbian and Gay Fostering and Adoption: Extraordinary Yet Ordinary. London: Jessica Kingsley Pub. 1999
Knox, David & Schacht, Caroline. Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and Family. Belmont: Cengage Learning. 2012
Merin, Yuval. Equality for Same Sex Couples: The Legal Recognition of Gay partnerships in the United States. Chicago: University of Chicago. 2002
Mucciaroni, Gary. Same Sex, Different Politics: Success and Failure in the Struggles over Gay Rights. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Player, Corrie. The Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising your Adopted Child: A Complete Handbook to Welcoming your Adopted Child into your Heart and Home. Avon: Adams Media. 2008
