Social awkwardness can be defined as a phenomenological quality that helps in experiencing the patterns of social exchange that are symbolic in the exchange as explicitly destabilized by various expressive behaviors of uncertain acceptability. It also refers to the discomfort or fear in a person when in a social interaction that brings out some concern about being judged or evaluated by others. It basically refers to the inner fear people have that other people are thinking about them. This feeling brings about an insecure feeling that makes people think they are inferior or not good enough. This kind of feeling may be associated with social anxiety. Social awkwardness bring about issues regarding one's social life where people feel rejected and ignored by others, they are maybe ashamed of their life. It also makes people feel regretful of missed social opportunities.
This paper will discuss the aspects of social awkwardness in the lives of human beings, their lack in communication skills, and lack in social skills, social rejection, social motivations and also breaking social barriers. Social anxiety entails the basics that allow people to mingle and fit in with others as long as they are in a group where they feel comfortable. Social awkwardness describes the issues that make people lack the necessary strength and acceptance that would help them to articulate themselves better within a group of people. It deals with the social amenities that that motivate people in their lives to accept their personal being psychologically. This paper aims at addressing such issues as well bring out the key factors that should be avoided in order to build proper self-esteem.
In addition to this, social awkwardness bring about the feeling where people always want to be alone or are always defensive in a violent way. Social awkwardness may develop in children or adults where developmental social anxiety has been noted mostly in early childhood as a normal part of the development of social functioning. It develops from the first stage of infancy and proceeds to the adolescent level. Adolescents show increased rates of anxiety or awkwardness through fear of relating to their peers whom they are either attracted to, peer rejection, public speaking, and past behaviors. Adolescents also show most common anxiety levels through blushing or self- consciousness. This brings about to them being isolated or feeling ashamed of their lives and want to be alone most of the time. It is important to note that adolescence is a level in life where children experience various changes in their physical bodies and are ashamed to talk about it. Most especially girls develop changes that are visible by others which affect their psychological being. They find it hard to make friends or be in the company of other peers as they feel inferior or awkward than the rest. It also brings about the feeling that they are being evaluated or discussed by others and may at times even pick up fights with them.
Adults on the other hand have also reported intense levels of social awkwardness and anxiety as they tend to show shyness from any social situation and may at times keep to themselves. There are various common forms of social anxiety that hinder adults from being free whenever in a social situation. These include: public speaking, stage fright, timidness and performance. These forms often easily predictable as adults avoid such situations by giving excuses or denial. If these conditions are not avoided or dealt with they may emerge and bring about anxiety disorders (Jiang, 2012).
Lack in communication skills is another tool of psychology that affects most human beings. As we all know, communication is a key aspect of creating and maintaining relationships regardless whether they are intimate or professional. Communication skills affect how people solve problems or how they resolve a conflict. It also helps generate some level trust in every relationship. Therefore, lack in communication skills may bring about confusion, misunderstandings and develop poor patterns of communication. Lack in communication skills may be brought about by various factors that hinder effective communication. These factors include: poor listening skills, language barriers, emotional barriers, environmental barriers, perceptual barriers as well as timing barriers. These hinder effective communication and end up creating misunderstandings or delivery of the point. Lack of communication skills may largely affect the relationships people have as the well as their social life. It deters people from expressing themselves appropriately as they have no way of saying or communicating what it is they really want. It brings about doubts and mistrust as people do not understand the point being delivered. At some point it may even affect the relationship with friends, family and workmates as they do not understand what is being communicated to them.
Lack of communication skills prevents people especially children from making friends and succeed at school. The vital aspects of communication: facial expressions, body language, gestures, and tone of the voice as well unwritten social rules enable people to send their message across easily as people are able to understand what you imply or the mood of the speaker. Lack of these vital aspects may lead to people feeling awkward and unsure of themselves when speaking to others. It leads to anxiety especially when speaking to people who are older than you or the opposite sex. This is due to the fact that people feel judged and develops fear or even conviction that they will not be considered good enough.
Lack of social skills on the other hand may also affect the way people feel about themselves. It may lead to people interacting and navigating an environment in an awkward, weird or odd manner. It affects the self-esteem in people and makes them feel inferior. Lack of social skills affects the way people interact with others by bringing about the anxiety that may result to negative effects. People who lack social skills portray inappropriate behaviors where they have poor concepts of proper timing and places of saying certain things. They seek negative attention or get involved with inappropriate activities while keeping an eye to see if anyone is watching them. It also affects relationships where people tend to be over-protective and have trouble sharing friends. Maintaining friends or even making new friends becomes a challenge for people who lack social skills. They argue a lot and make inappropriate comments to others. They have problems interacting with other people and in case they feel that they are being discussed or watched, they get aggressive. Most of the times, they like being alone and get very jealous when other people make friends especially with their friends who may lead them to exhibit behaviors that push others away and make them look weird.
Social rejection refers to the condition where people are deliberately excluded from a social relationship or social interactions. This may happen due to social reasons where they get bullied, teased or ridiculed and in some instances ignored completely. This may bring about the effect of people feeling awkward about themselves where they question their ability. It makes them feel unwanted or not good enough in the presence of others. When one is socially rejected, they tend to isolate themselves and shy away from others. It also brings about the feeling of anxiety that prevents people from interacting with others. Making others friends becomes a problem as they feel that they will be rejected. It brings doubt and mistrust as the rejected friends will find it hard to trust any other person. Relationships are also affected as these people will draw back to their own ways of doing things and may at times be aggressive whenever approached. It may also result in psychological effects where people develop brain problems. Social rejection leads to people feeling shy and anxious whenever in a social situation and may avoid interacting with others due to fear. It also affects the social aspects of human beings and leads to anxiety and awkwardness especially when speaking to other people (Harris 2009). The feeling of being unsure is another effect that arises and many questions run through your mind. You wonder whether the problem was your communication technique, your personal appearance or the way you relate socially. These aspects are in a way related to social awkwardness as they entail the aspects of social relations.
Social motivation is the act of bringing out the feelings that are linked towards achieving desired goals. It involves maintaining control and working towards certain goal oriented behaviors. It is mainly the driving force that propels peoples’ activities towards good behavior. It is also an incentive or urge that influences good behavior towards a particular goal. This is achieved through considering the socio-cultural influences that raise the self esteem of individuals. Social motivation can be achieved through activities such encouragement, personal acceptance, maintain self-control and believing that you have the skills to be effective in achieving their goals. Motivation should also come from friends and family who helps people believe in their goals (Butler, 1999). People should also accept themselves as they are and be ready to change for the better. Anger management should be taken seriously where people should focus on self-control aspects.
In order to break social barriers, people should be willing to work together to assist each other on the weak parts. Encouraging one another is also a key point. This should be coupled with adoption of better communication skills where they should learn to listen and speak to each other effectively. Anxiety and fear should be broken down through encouragement and much practice. Acceptance would also help change the way people feel about themselves as they would be aware of their problems and take effective steps to use other means to socially interact with others. Self-control should be highly implemented to help people work towards their goals.
References
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Butler, G. (1999). Overcoming social anxiety and shyness: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques. London: Robinson.
Clegg, Joshua W. (2012). The Importance of Feeling Awkward: A Dialogical Narrative Phenomenology of Socially Awkward Situations. Qualitative Research in Psychology, 9 (3), 262-278.
Harris, M. J. (2009). Bullying, rejection, and peer victimization: A social cognitive neuroscience perspective. New York: Springer.
Jiang, Lei; Ding, Lixin; Liu, Jianxun; Chen, Jinjun (2012). Reputation rating modeling for open environment lack of communication by using online social cognition. Journal of Network & Computer Applications, 35 (3), 881-891.
