Analysis of Summary
This paper will point out the analysis and results of different summaries that follow the rules of a good summary. I have chosen to write a summary on a single named ‘Beautiful’ by famous rapper Eminem. The reason for picking out this summary is because of its easiness to understand. Also, the summary paraphrases the information from the original sources, instead of using the words directly from the source. It acknowledges the original writer and the titles.
1. The song ‘Beautiful’:
Rap music is the most popular genre of music among people around the world. Beautiful is a single song composed and released by rapper Eminem along with his album “Relapse” in the year 2009 on 12th of May. This song was viewed by several thousand users in “Youtube” and had a positive response among the viewers. The song top listed among other music videos released that year. It was also nominated for 52nd Grammy awards for Best rap solo performance. Rap songs reveal one’s own experience in life. People expect Eminem’s next album every time since he is a sensation among other rappers.
2. Changes made in summary:
I have replaced the words and rephrased the sentences in the introduction. I have made changes in transition and verb as instructed so that the sentences are free from grammatical errors. Also I have rephrased the sentences accordingly to give meaningful sentences.
I have added few lines to the essay content including ‘The song top listed among other music videos released that year’ and ‘It was also nominated for 52nd Grammy awards for Best rap solo performance’.
I changed the line ‘In the world there are many people like to listen to “Rap” music’ to ‘Rap music is most popular genre of music among people around the world’. This change has improved the readability of the sentence since it conforms to verb.
I have modified the word like to popular among people. Also I have added the word genre to stress the importance of rap music.
I combined the two sentences ‘ “Beautiful” is a song by rapper Eminem and is fourth and final single from his 2009 album Relapse’ and the sentence ‘This song was released on May 12,2009.’ into a single sentence ‘Beautiful is a single released by rapper Eminem along with his album “Relapse” in the year 2009 on 12th of May’. The combining of the sentences has made the essay clear and precise than the previous one.
I have also replaced the line ‘However, as we can see in “youtube” more than althousan people have seen this song and they love it’ with lines ‘This song was viewed by several thousand users in “Youtube” and had a positive response among the viewers’. In this sentence I have corrected the spelling mistake of althousan to thousand. Here I have rewritten the word love with positive response.
I have also changed the word people to viewers. This modification has improved the vocabulary of the essay conforming to transitions and verbs as mentioned.
Rephrased the lines ‘For example, Rap music is explan to the people your feeling and what you see from your life’ into ‘Rap songs reveal one’s own experience in life’. There was a spelling mistake in the word explan it was changed by rephrasing the sentence.
Fainaly, Eminem is famous rapper in the world that many people to listen to his song and like to see his new album every year , this line was revised as ‘People expect Eminem’s next album every time since he is a sensation among other rappers’.
3.Reasons for low grade:
My essay had grammatical mistakes in transition and verbs. There was also sentence forming mistakes in the essay. Moreover the sentences of the summary I had written were not clear in bringing out the actual meaning.
There were also few spelling mistakes in my essay including the words sone, explan, fainaly and althousan which should be actually song, explain, finally and thousand. . So I think due to the above reasons I couldn’t get a higher grade and was given a low grade.
4. Reasons for high grade after revision:
I have corrected the grammatical errors in the essay about the song ‘beautiful’ sung by rapper Eminem, such that the sentences conform to both transitions and verbs as mentioned in the handouts. I rephrased the sentences of this summary such that the meaning of the lines was clear without mistakes.
I had also changed the spelling of words that were written out wrongly in my previous version of the essay. I think these changes made my essay clear than the previous one.
Now i have made the necessary corrections as per the requirements and my essay is now free from grammatical errors and sentence formation issues. So i believe i will get high grades for my re-modified essay.
