Domestic violence refers to a situation where a spouse uses a particular pattern of emotional, physical, sexual abuse, financial depravation or a combination of these behaviors to control or threaten the other. Although this form of abuse is directed to one of the partners in a relationship, children also become victims because they stop feeling safe and secure. The children also stop seeing their home as a place where they can find refuge and support whenever they feel threatened by the outside world. Accordingly, violent experiences have profound impact on the life of the children as well as their ambitions for the future. Every time that one parent assaults the other, the children only hear distressing sounds of cruelty and even if they do not witness the violence, they are usually conscious of it through observing the telltale signs. Some of the causes of violence in homes include joblessness, poverty, alcoholism and substance abuse. From the outset, it is important to note that the aspect of domestic violence is one of the major human rights issues that contemporary societies grapple with, especially with the advent of the social networking platforms that some spouses use to propagate violence their partners. Notably, most people do not seem to realize that domestic violence is a criminal offense that warrants the involvement of the police hence most spouses and partners suffer in silence but also expose their children to numerous risks. Ultimately, this form of violence is not unique to any given society but is a global phenomenon that traverses ethnicity, age, gender, geography, or status and causes temporary and permanent psychological scars that affect the children’s current social life and their future relationships.
Psychological Physical Injuries
Children from violent households have low self-esteem thus causing them to develop negative thoughts about themselves as well as the people they interact with, for instance, they may start thinking that everyone detests them. Scholars believe that in some cases, children who witness one parent violating the other parent tend to display behavioral and emotional problems that are similar to the children who have experienced physical abuse themselves (Jaffe, Wolfe, and Wilson 1990). In addition, the perpetrator of domestic violence may target children directly and this may lead to serious neglect and/or physical and even sexual abuse. Even where the perpetrator does not abuse the children sexually, the violence exposes them to the risk of sexual abuse from strangers who realize that they come from a family where domestic violence is endemic (Bowker, Arbitell and McFerron 1988). In some instances, even when domestic violence leads to parents separating, the children become exposed to physical and sexual violence when they remain in the custody of the abusive parent. It is important to note that that the parent having custody after separation may result to violating the children physically or sexually as a way of trying to force their partner to go back home. Accordingly, if the abused parent has custody of the children, the other parent may result to abducting a child as a way of punishing their partner for leaving their home and at times such abductions may go wrong leading to the death or serious injury to the abducted kid. In this regard, the risk of harm to children within a family here there is domestic violence substantial even when the parents separate. Domestic violence also causes the children to develop physical illnesses such as headaches and sleep disturbances including insomnia, bedwetting, or nightmares. Accordingly, children are usually caught in the middle of violence, either by accident or because the person perpetrating the violence intends it. For instance, an infant baby may be injured when being held by the person being abused when the perpetrator uses physical violence. Accordingly, older children may end up getting hurt if they intervene in a bid to protect the parent who is going through physical abuse. Most importantly, the attitude of the children as a result of witnessing violence change regarding the use of violence as they may develop attitudes that try to justify their use of violence to solve issues (Wolfe, 1986). In this regard, research shows that many teenage boys who have been imprisoned for violent crimes had been victims of family violence, either as witnesses or as the abused. According to some scholars, many boys engage in aggressive behavior because they believe that it will enhance their reputation and self-worth (Spaccarelli, 1995, p. 173).
Long-term Problems
Children who have witnessed violence in their homes are likely to be involved in abusive and violent relationship as they grow up. In most cases, children imitate the behavior of their parents. For instance, the boys can learn to be violent from their fathers, if the father is violent towards the mother while girls may learn to expect violence from their mothers if the mother puts up with the violence and vice versa. However, some scholars observe that the male children are more likely to emulate violence behavior from the abusive parent while girls are likely to shun such behavior (Carlson 1991). Even though the children do not imitate the violent behaviors from their parents, they may grow up feeling depressed and anxious hence find it difficult to develop close relationships with other people. This is because such children are likely to over react, act out, become hostile, aggressive, be impulsive, or rebellious. The children may also begin to associate with adults or peers who may turn out to be dangerous for them because they feel the need to do it in a bid to seek refuge because they feel insecure whenever they are at home. Studies have also shown that men who witnessed domestic violence early in their lives only show traumatic relate symptoms while women develop depression, low-self esteem, as well as traumatic experiences (Silvern et al., 1995). As such, family violence seems to cause more harm to the girls than male children well into their adulthood, and this makes such women have lower affinity for social adjustment than their male counterparts (Henning et al., 1996). In serious cases, children may develop serious illnesses such as post-traumatic stress disorder, which may require special attention from health professionals.
Poor Concentration
The children also develop problems in their concentration given that they are constantly on the lookout for danger. This is because they develop fear, anger, shame, anxiety, stress and depression, and are not able to concentrate on their learning leading to poor performance. Although some studies show that academic abilities for the children who have been exposed to domestic violence does not differ from other children, some studies reveal that exposure to violence affects the cognitive functioning among children who are increasingly exposed to violence (Rossman, 1998). Accordingly, due to the emotional turmoil that comes with violence at home, it becomes impossible for the children to focus their attention on education and co-curricular activities (UNICEF, 2006).
Extent of Problems
Ultimately, the extent to which a child is affected by domestic violence and the subsequent outcome with regard to their behaviors depends on various factors. These factors include the character of the child, the duration after the violence, whether the role of the child in the violence was only to witness the violence or was abused, as well as the relationship that parents have with their children. With regard to either the children witnessed the violence or were subjected to abuse themselves, children who witness and are abused display more problematic behaviors than those who only watch the aggression (McClosky, 1995). Regarding the character of the child, after experiencing domestic violence, boys are more likely to exhibit aggression and hostility openly while most girls internalize the problem thereby developing depression and somatic symptoms (Carlson, 1991). Accordingly, children who witness the violence at different ages may exhibit different reactions. Further, a child may exhibit fewer effects when a long time has passed since a child witnessed family violence but frequent violence is likely to increase the problems of a child. For instance, the immediate reactions that children exhibit regarding domestic violence include sleeplessness, nightmares, general anxiety, and intense worrying. It is also important to note that, in many cases, the relationship that children have with their father or mother is a major factor in the determination of the degree that a child may be affected by the violence. For instance, children interaction with a father who abuses their mother is confusing because a child may express affection and at the same time show disappointment and bitterness regarding his aggressive behavior (Peled, 2000). Accordingly, family support in terms of stable and socially connected families may affect how the children will be able to cope with domestic violence (Durant, 1994).
With regard to the foregoing, it is apparent that children experience family violence in different ways. Accordingly, the degree to which such violence affects the children differs from one child to the next. Nevertheless, the domestic violence has the potential to have considerable short-term and long-term psychological, physical, and emotional effect on the behavior of children who either experience or are exposed to it. In general, it is clear that children get very upset when they witness their parent using violence to control the other therefore parents should at least make an effort to shield their children from witnessing family violence be it verbal, physical, or in any other form.
References
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