Forgiveness is for everyone. People need to be forgiven just like others. When a person forgives, there is a feeling that is beyond sensory expression. It makes the person who forgives ‘whole’ again while the one who was forgiven feels the same. People should learn to forgive as much as they can so that they will no longer live in the dark corners of their past. Yet, some people would ask why should an individual who have done them a horrible act? Should not justice be meted out first? Well, it is true that people who committed crimes and other misdeeds should be punished for their wrongdoings. If individuals wronged other people, they should suffer the consequences of their actions. Nevertheless, it does not mean that individuals should not forgive their wrongdoers since it will impact on their wellbeing . While justice is being served, it is fitting also to forgive repentant criminals, especially when they asked for it. This way, there is a possibility that victims of inhumane treatment will not become ‘victims’ all their life.
Still, the questions on forgiveness are not as easy as they seem to be. Some people would have thought of the following questions: What is forgiveness? To whom should forgiveness be due? Should individuals be forgiven if they did not learn how to forgive their offenders? How grievous a sin is for individuals to still merit forgiveness? As a sign of forgiveness, should people simply forget someone else sin against them? Should people have to meet in person people who done them wrong just to ensure forgiveness? What will happen to individuals who died already without receiving forgiveness from people whom they had asked for forgiveness – but denied forgiveness? How about people who are still alive, but have not forgiven some people in their lives who are already dead? Do such people will even stand the chance to be forgiven? What other questions are related to forgiveness? Well, these are just a few of the questions about forgiveness worth answering – whether biblically, philosophically, psychotherapeutically, and/or personally.
First: What really is forgiveness? According to the The Sage English Dictionary and Thesaurus , forgiveness is the act of excusing an offense or mistake. It is also synonymous with the term “mercifulness.” So, whenever people forgive their transgressors, they are showing compassion because of their willingness to absolve or stop from blaming them.
Second: To whom forgiveness be due? Apparently, it is for wrongdoers. Individuals forgive someone who wronged them. In forgiving people, surrounding (mitigating / aggravating) circumstances are taken into account. If it is a minor sin, a person can simply forgo/forget about it. However, in case of crimes against person, for example, the culprit deserves to be incarcerated (sometimes, put to death) . But, how individuals repent if they are already dead? Thus, in this particular context, forgiveness is for the living. While alive, learn to forgive for God shall judge us for our works – whether they be good or evil (Ecclesiastes 12:14).
Third: Should individuals be forgiven if they did not learn how to forgive their offenders? Questions like this one requires deep analysis because of its ironic nature. Supposed an individual killed someone and yet repented later on. He/She was even sentenced and served a life imprisonment. He also learned to forgive himself during those times. Will he be forgiven since the one he/she killed was not able to utter forgiveness? Well, God may just as well forgive the repentant criminal. On the other hand, let God decide on the matter concerning the other party. However, using the bible as the answer, Christ, Stephen and others, who were done wrongedand killed, forgave their debtors before they gave up the ghost (I Timothy 1:13; Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60; Mark 11:25-26).
Fourth: How grievous a sin is for individuals to still merit forgiveness? As long as people did it out of ignorance, the sins people commit are pardonable (Mark 3:29). In addition, it depends on someone who grants forgiveness (Matthew 10:14-15; Matthew 18:17-18). If people learned how to equate or see how important the act of forgiveness just like any other acts, they can easily forgive others . As mentioned above, Christ, Stephen and others were crucified, stoned to death and so on yet, before their last breath, they forgave their debtors. So, it depends on the context whether a sin is pardonable or not.
Fifth: As a sign of forgiveness, should people simply forget someone else sin against them? When one forgives, he forgets. If God who has a perfect mind, forgets a person’s past mistakes; how much more should people learn do it, too? In order to do this effectively (that is, the act of forgiving and forgetting), individuals should do good (love) to those who wronged them (Matthew 5:44). For example, if individuals heard that their wrongdoers are sick or destitute, the former should learn to help the latter in their plight. As the proverbs say in 25:22: You will heap coals upon his/her head and the Lord shall reward you.
Sixth: Should people have to meet in person people who done them wrong just to ensure forgiveness? Definitely, it is better to meet each other in peace (Matthew 5:24). When two or more persons forgive each other personally, there is a much bigger chance that it is more effectual . Some people who do this act feel the triviality of their acts (wrongs). There is also a greater likelihood that such people become more intimate companions or friends. A short time of amicable confrontation will help rid of a lifetime of regret and grief.
Seventh: What will happen to individuals who died already without receiving forgiveness from people whom they had asked for forgiveness – but denied forgiveness? Time element and gravity of the sin are factors to consider . There are really individuals who cannot simply make up their minds, but in their hearts, they forgave the person. However, for people who are hardhearted, it all depends on God to forgive them both. But there is no assurance to the latter sentence because God teaches people to forgive others for them to be forgiven (Luke 11:4) considering that there is no man on earth that do good and do not sin (Ecclesiastes 7:20).
Eight: How about people who are still alive, but have not forgiven some people in their lives who already died? Will they be forgiven and the one they did not forgive? The one who is alive still has the chance to be forgiven (Ecclesiastes 9:4). Then, it is up to God what to do with the other person who is already dead. Remember that there is the Judgment Day. Also, people should keep in mind and heart that God is merciful and His love endures forever.
Ninth: Do such people will even stand the chance to be forgiven? This question was already answered in numbers seven and eight above.
Tenth: What other questions are related to forgiveness? Is it much harder to forgive or not to forgive? Since God commanded people to forgive, it is much easier to forgive. When people learn the art of forgiveness, that is, practice it daily, there is no point that they will constantly be bothered/haunted by their past. Forgiveness is like a vitamin for the soul; the more individuals take regularly, the healthier they become.
Now, recalling all the items mentioned above, if I have learned to apply them all to myself – yes. The reason for my self-affirmation is because it is not difficult to forgive (Matthew 11:30). Forgiveness is just one of the virtues I should possess . There are many more such as love, charity, perseverance, etc. If I cannot do a simple act of forgiveness, how much more if I desire to have the other virtues? I am self-assured that I am but a human being who should learn to forgive. Since God is merciful to me, I should also be like Him with a forgiving nature. In reiteration, it is much better and always best to trust God by being forgiving.
References
ADDBible. (n.d.). The Digital Bible 2.0.4. Members, Church of God International. Retrieved from http://www.mcgi.org/free-bible/
Bono, G., & McCullough, M. (2006). Positive Responses to Benefit and Harm: Bringing Forgiveness and Gratitude Into Cognitive Psychotherapy. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy: An International Quarterly, 20(2). Retrieved from http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/mmccullough/Papers/Positive%20Responses%20to%20Benefit%20and%20%20%20%20%20%20Harm_JCP_20_06_print.pdf
Enright, R., & North, J. (1998). Exploring Forgiveness. Madison: Univ of Wisconsin Press.
Ferch, S. (1998). Intentional Forgiving as a Counseling Intervention. Journal of Counseling & Development, 76(3), 261-270.
Griswold, C. (2007). Forgiveness: A Philosophical Exploration. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Haber, J. (1991). Forgiveness. Maryland: Rowman & Littlefield Pub Incorporated.
Morales, F., & Gilner, L. (2012). TheSage's English Dictionary and Thesaurus. Sequence Publishing: Software for Language Education and Research.
Wade, N., Bailey, D., & Shaffer, P. (2005). Helping Clients Heal: Does Forgiveness Make a Difference? Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 36(6), 634-641. doi:10.1037/0735-7028.36.6.634
