The addiction simulation exercise using ice cubes as the drug of choice has become a truly revealing experience showing how easy it is to become addicted and how hard it can become to keep leading a normal life, meeting with friends and family, studying and doing any other activity during addiction. This exercise showed how easy it is to lose connection with the reality during addiction that makes a person view everything from the perspective of addiction. However, indeed, this exercise could not demonstrate the hardships people can experience when trying to break free from the addiction, since I wanted to, and was ready to, leave the exercise as soon as possible, which is definitely not the case with real addictions.
At the beginning of the exercise, it seemed quite easy to plan ice cube addiction by simply monitoring my thirst, controlling my behavior by not forgetting to put an ice cube into the drink and plan my day to make sure that I had a possibility to find ice cubes. However, during the first couple of hours of the exercise, I realized that I could not actually predict when I was going to be thirsty, and for this reason I had to improvise, put off my current and sometimes very important affairs and tasks in order to find just one ice cube just to drink water, which would usually take me not more than a minute. This way, at the very beginning of the exercise, I realized how unbearably hard it was to go on with your routine life full of schedules, meetings, obligations and responsibilities, when looking for an ice cube takes up so much time. I also realized that at some point, when I was becoming incredibly thirsty and even started to have a headache, my whole life started revolving around an ice cube, which was viewed by me as a panacea and as a curse. This observation is in line with the Criterion 3 used for the diagnosis of a substance use disorder according to the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (2013) that says that an individual may spend a lot of time “obtaining the substance, using the substance, or recovering from its effects” and in some severe cases “virtually all of the individual's daily activities revolve around the substance” (p. 483). The only difference between the exercise and the manual was, however, very important, since the manual also directly connects the changes in behavior with the incessant desire and urge to use the drug (American Psychiatric Association (APA), 2013, p. 483). At the same time, the exercise was much easier, since I did not feel the urge for ice cubed and could control myself, which, I believe, is far from reality of the substance use disorder and addictions.
The exercise also introduced to me the feelings that many people with addiction probably feel: guilt, shame, loneliness because of the social withdrawal and isolation, as well as paranoid beliefs in being constantly watched, as I obtained and used the drug. First of all, in order to have constant access to the drug whenever I was not at home, I asked my friend to borrow me a cool bag, but refused to explain why I needed, which made me feel awkward and somewhat guilty. At the same time, I felt that I was on my own with this secret and could not tell anyone for the fear of being misunderstood and judged. Although the drug was simply an ice cube, believing that its consumption and addiction to it were stigmatized in the society made me feel very ashamed and hopeless, since I knew that I could satisfy thirst only with it in my drink. This experience has taught me that stigma can play an important role in the aggravation of the disorder because in the society substance abuse is often considered a moral or criminal issue, rather than a health problem, especially when the drug in question is illegal and is, thus, viewed in a more negative light (Livingston, Milne, Fang, & Amari, 2012, p. 40). According to the researchers, such moral condemnation and criminalization make the society exclude people with the disorder and marginalize them (Livingston et al., 2012, p. 40). The exercise has demonstrated that such marginalization creates social withdrawal, isolation and loneliness that I have experienced during two days.
One of the biggest difficulties was obtaining ice cubes and using them in such a way that no one could notice it. In order to succeed, I had to constantly sneak away from my friends and look around to make sure no one saw me. Such behavioral changes, usually including the ban on entering one’s room imposed on family and friends, hiding from family and friends about one’s whereabouts and plans, as well as significant changes in relationships with the closest people, are all signs of drug abuse (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2014). Although in my experience, I have not achieved significant social isolation, on the second day of the experiment I preferred to stay away from my friends and people in general as much as possible to make it easier for me to keep the secret. This part of the experiment taught me that people with substance use disorder have significant changes in behavior because the conditions force them to keep their addiction and drug abuse a secret and to seek isolation to a certain extend in order to alleviate the burden of constant secrecy. Finally, obtaining and using the drug was the hardest task because of ice cubes illegality. I had to resort to such behavior as stealing ice cubes from my friend’s plastic cup and even from his fridge, when I insisted on visiting him on the second day of the exercise. Unfortunately, stealing is one of the very common signs of drug abuse because people often cannot resist their urges for the drug without medication and need to steal it or steal money to buy it (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2014). However, not being able to have ice cubes with me all the time, I had to suffer immensely from thirst before I could find a way to obtain an ice-cube unnoticed.
The easiest part of the exercise, however, was hiding my tracks, or my rubber band. This step required me to simply put the rubber band higher on my arm and cover it with long sleeves for two days. However, I believe that if the exercise lasted for at least two weeks, I would feel the consequences of such limitations much more vividly, since I would not have any other option, but to weak the same type of clothes regardless of my activities. I can predict that it would become extremely hard to wear it around friends and family, as they would suspect that I was hiding something.
All in all, this experience has taught me that substance use disorder and addictions are a very burdensome and limiting disorder that leaves its victim lonely, hopeless and obsessed with anything, but the drug and everything connected with its use, including hiding it from others. I have also learned that social isolation and withdrawal are often the result of stigmatization of the disorder in the society and the consequent marginalization of people suffering from it. Substance use disorder and addiction negatively change people’s behavior, cognition and emotions, and such negative changes deteriorate the relationships with others, as well as disrupt the normal course of life, often to a great extent and for a long time. I believe that people with this disorder deserve compassion, since it is, first and foremost, a health issue that requires medical help.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC: Author.
Livingston, J. D., Milne, T., Fang, M. L., & Amari, E. (2012). The effectiveness of interventions for reducing stigma related to substance use disorders: a systematic review. Addiction (Abingdon, England), 107(1), 39–50. http://doi.org/10.1111/j.1360-0443.2011.03601.x
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2014, December 5). Drug addiction symptoms. Retrieved April 29, 2016, from http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/drug-addiction/basics/symptoms/con-20020970
