Throughout our life we meet various people under different circumstances. We establish numerous types of relationships with them, depending on inner and outer factors. The relationship paradigm is a multi-dimensional field; however there are still some emotional tendencies, which apply to every one of us. One of such tendencies is our ability to attach to people and make bonds with them. This process is an essential component of our entire life.
Notions and theory of bonding and attachment
Attachment or bonding is a “strong affectional tie or emotional bond between two individuals” (Bigner & Grayson, 2009, p. 129), which is a universal phenomenon between child and carer. It is based on child’s need to explore while feeling safe and carer’s parental position.
Attachment theory itself was elaborated by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. This is an interdisciplinary study, involving both theoretical psychological knowledge and practical data analysis through experiments. The experiments concerned mother-child relationship. They were aimed to test child’s reaction toward mother leaving the room and returning. Thus, the concept of “maternal sensitivity to infant signals and its role in the development of infant-mother attachment patterns” (Bretherton, 1992, p. 759) is one of theory’s core ideas.
Bowlby’s 4 stages of attachment
Researcher John Bowlby differentiates four main phases of attachment. These stages appear consecutively and each has its peculiar features and typically appears at certain age.
The first stage can be characterized by undifferentiated social responsiveness, which lasts until the age of 3 months. An infant seeks attention and care from familiar people as well as from strangers. A child tends not to discriminate between surrounding people and trusts everyone.
The second stage’s distinctive feature is differentiating and discriminating between familiar and unfamiliar people, with the familiar having child’s priority. This stage lasts until approximately the age of 5 months. A child gravitates more to relatives, caretakers and friends.
The third phase, which lasts until the age of 7 months, is characterized by “active search of physical proximity and contact with familiar persons” (Bigner & Grayson, 2009, p. 129). As a child develops and improves his or her motor skills, tactile contact becomes more conscious and an infant is relaxed when physically feels the presence of the familiar surrounding him or her.
The last phase comes when a child, approximately 3 years old, learns to predict the behaviour of others, typically of parents or caretakers, and the partnership becomes goal-corrected. Thus, he or she learns how to keep optimal physical distance or proximity.
Ainsworth’s 4 categories of attachment
Monitored by Mary Ainsworth, a series of experiments were conducted to reveal typical categories of attachment. It was empirically proved that there are 4 main categories of a child-mother attachment, 1 of which is secure, with 3 others being classified as insecure.
The first category is defined as secure, since it seems the most natural psychological relationship between children and parents. A child is upset, when his or her parent is absent, and when the parent comes back into child’s visual field, the baby greets the parent by smiling, vocalizing or seeking physical proximity. This pattern appears in 60% of cases.
The second category is characterized by avoidance and is met in 20% of cases. Here a child does not display any mood swings, no matter if his or her parent is present or not.
The third pattern is “preoccupied-insecure” (Bigner & Grayson, 2009, p. 130) and was recorded in 10-15% of cases. Here a child does show frustration, anxiety etc. when a parent leaves. However, even when the parent is in physical and visual proximity again, the child still displays negative behaviour (crying, refusing to calm down, avoiding tactile contact etc.).
The less common category, met in 5-10% of experiments, is constructed by the absence of behavioural strategy of a child when a parent comes or leaves. This category may be defined as disorganized. Nonetheless, though the latter 3 categories are classified as insecure, they are “not considered a disorder” (Bigner & Grayson, 2009, p. 130).
Influence of early attachment on later relationships
According to Bigner and Grayson, during the 4 stages of attachment, children “develop mental models regarding themselves and others” (2009, p. 130). Thus, depending on how successful our primary attachments were, we behave more or less efficiently in our future relationships with ourselves and others. They also shape important constituents of our emotional health, psychological stability and capacity of forming new attachments.
Such key components of our personality as social skills, self-confidence, stress resilience and self esteem are formed under strong influence of primary attachments during our childhood (Bigner & Grayson, 2009, p. 217). Despite the fact that we cannot consciously process our personality building at such age, these psychological influences of attachment are undeniable. Some of emotional deviations of adults derive from unsuccessful attachments. If a parent or caretaker obstacles efficient affectionate bonding, a child will start question his or her worth without even realising it. Indifferent or even cruel parental experience may result in low self-esteem, destructive behaviour, inability to keep a loving relationship etc.
As we follow our mental models, which were constructed in early childhood, our dominant traits of character and typical behaviours can be traced back to this 4-stage period. This field is of great interest for psychologists, with the most celebrated being Sigmund Freud, who believed most of our complexes are triggered by childhood experiences. Though some of his theories were disproved, we still may find evidence in everyday life. Children from one-parent families suffer with establishing trustful relationship with the opposite sex; children from families with addiction history tend to be predisposed to substance abuse. These may be classified as stereotypes; however stereotypes are not created without background reasoning. Thus, attachments may contribute to our overall well-being as a person both positively and negatively, depending how open, balanced and successful they were during our childhood.
Conclusions
Attachment is a link between two individuals, which is based on affection or mutual feelings. It is a universal process, consisting of 4 stages. Each of these stages is characterized by different levels of discrimination between familiar persons and strangers. Also, each stage usually appears during typical age and is also influenced by developing cognition of a child. The process can be further divided into 4 categories of different security level. These categories are defined by child’s emotional reaction to mother’s absence and returning. The most common reaction of a child is missing his or her mother when she leaves, and later greeting her when she comes. Other 3 insecure categories comprise of absence of any emotional reaction; continuous negative reaction even upon mother’s returning; and a child being disoriented on how to react. All in all, attachments play an important role in our overall personality development from young age. Primary instances of bonding “lay the foundation for later attachments” (Bigner & Grayson, 2009, p. 130). Successful childhood attachments encourage higher emotional intellect and broader psychological competence in adult life, contribute to adequate self-esteem, ego resilience and quality relationships.
References
Bigner, J., & Grayson, T. (2009). Foundations in Human Development (2nd ed.). Loose Leaf.
Bretherton, I. (1992). The Origins of Attachment Theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Developmental Psychology, 28, 759-775.
