Introduction
As it has been amply put, birds of the same feathers do flock together. I believe the same holds true for couples who are possessed of similar personality. In a study of associative mating conducted by Rammstedt & Schupp, in 2008; it was demonstrated that there is a link between assortatitive mating and personality. The study was based on a sample size of up to 7000 couples. This was actually a larger study of a concept that had received ample treatment from other researchers like Willemsen, & Costa, 2008; Remiker & Baker, 2009. This study was aimed at proving that there is indeed a high level of congruency in personality among couples who were in a relationship. The idea was to establish if there was a correlation between congruency of the couple’s personality and the longevity of their relationship. Connected to this was the study of the concept of couples becoming congruent after the duration of being together; and the situation at the end of the relationship. It should be appreciated that the studies come in the context of related literature within the realms of psychological analysis. A lot of literature has already been written on matters of personality differences. However, the new studies to be captured in this paper were seminal in that their findings went deep into extending the now relatively well researched area of study. In addition, it should be appreciated that their work effectively boosted the earlier work in the same for in overall, they served to increase the content and did not substantially differ with what is already in the knowledge of scholars.
I will in this paper offer a critical evaluation of the study with an aim of comparing its fairness, and outcomes. The results of the study were that there is indeed a notable evidence of personality congruence being a predictor for relationship longevity. They also concluded that there is no increase in personality congruence as the relationship goes on, more so for stable relationships. On the other hand, the study found a considerable decrease in couples who are no longer together. Such couples who presumably showed a degree of congruency gradually lost the basic resemblance that could have provided them with the necessary elements of congruency.
Ideally, relationships are consensual, and couples will only stay in them voluntarily, but am aware of relationships whose existence was motivated by other factors. Couples who are raising a family would most likely try to avert a scenario that would lead to severe fallout. Such a couple would, therefore, purpose to arrange their personality in a manner of give and take. Sometimes it will start by considerations that are subtle, meant to convince the other that their interest is of equal significance. This would pave way for a gradual conditioning and behavioral realignment.
There is also the element of perseverance and an enduring spirit that comes with age. This may be lacking, on the younger couples. Ideally, it is such relationships that are founded on similarities of activities that would hint on a congruency of personality. However, for the younger couple, this will not expressly translate to relationship that last. The impulsive nature, the feeling that one still has time, and the availability of potential suitors all work to bring out a notable difference in their manner of congruency. It remains imperative that the precise contributions of age be determined. Indeed, it should be appreciated that the age often comes with maturity and wisdom. This perhaps is what the findings in this case equally confirm. In addition, it is factual at least from the surface what role one’s age plays in the overall endurance and perseverance levels. The older persons are likely to be more tolerant and would more likely endure adverse conditions as opposed to the younger people. Closely connected to this is also the issue of generational differences. With the previous generations, endurance and tolerance were typical practices, however, for the latter generations, they tend to show a lot of narcissist characters including but not limited to intolerance in to adverse conditions. This in overall affects the nature of the relationship and whether it would be possible for the involved relationships to subsist.
The questions that this paper will seek to answer are pegged on these findings. While it is often assumed that personality differences would be stumbling block to a viable relationship, some specific case studies have shown that individuals are able to adapt their traits in order to relate or to have mutually beneficial relationships. Congruency therefore is not an express determinant of the success of a relationship. Rammstedt and Schupp have done a commendable job in elicitation of the issues. The hypotheses are realistic and it is not difficult to find a connection between them and the findings.
Rammstedt & Schupp seeks the answers
In their study, Rammstedt and Schupp assortment employed the evaluation of five significant domains; agreeableness, conscientiousness, openness to experience, extraversion and neuroticism. While the first three were well investigated, the last two were only rendered lip treatment.
Rammstedt and Schupp found that the first three domains actually increased with the progression of the relationship. Agreeableness; Openness; and Conscientiousness actually increased with the duration of a marriage. I would look at it from an assumptive point of view that congruency would ultimately lead to better relational standard, while a lack of it would lead to an increase in antagonism as each couple tries to win over the other to their side of beliefs. Agreeableness as a concept here refers to the couples’ propensity to come to a consensus without heated negotiations or debates. It basically means that their way of looking at situations is similar. Openness refers to the ease of dialogue; it can also be called the ability of one couple to see through the other. Conscientiousness refers to the conscience awareness that other spouse matters and one should endeavor not to hurt their feelings, respect their opinions and purpose to appreciate their side of things. The findings from the research was a clear indication that congruency might have had an impact on the lower number of incongruent couples. If indeed incongruence leads to tumultuous relationship, then it is only natural that the relationship will come to an end. In consequence, I ascribe to the hypothesis that personality congruence will predict the longevity of the partnership, and on the other hand partners who have stable relationships will demonstrate high levels of congruency. It could also be argued that couples, who stay together for so long; probably as a result of some motivator, will learn from each other and hence exhibit similar personalities. An ideal example is a couple whose appreciation of community forums is different. One may occasionally drag the other to attend such functions leading eventually to an appreciation and hence a change in personality. This could probably lead to a give and take scenario eventually leading to a levelling of the different rough edges once so vivid.
But these two alternative postulations have been backed by any previous investigations. Gonzaga et al. (2010), and Caspi, Herbener, and Ozer (1992); found evidence to demonstrate that couples became similar in character as time went by. Bleske-Rechek et al. (2009) in his study of 51 student couples found that intact couples did not show significant differences in their major personality as compared to couples who had separated. This provides a contradictory scenario to my initial hypothesis.
It can also be assumed that personality changes for couples who are no longer in a relationship. A longitudinal study done by Specht, Egloff, and Schumukle, in 2011 showed that separation and a total divorce from a partner had different impacts on them. Individuals who were merely separated could be agreeable on certain fundamental issues; whilst those who had totally severed links through a divorce. Divorce in this regard resulted to more conscientious former couples. Whether these subtle changes also affect personality congruence is not discussed. The supportive results for a change in personality after major events in one’s life however leads to an assumption that personality congruence will most likely decrease after a separation of the couple.
In the light of these questions, I believe that there ought to be an investigation of; (1) whether personality congruence is a prediction of stability in a partnership and whether in the same breath, congruency will differ between whose relationship is stable, vis-à-vis those whose relationships are patchy; (2) there is also a need for a testing whether couples who demonstrate stability, become more congruent over time. Finally; (3) a study of whether couples who are separated become less congruent over time.
Evaluation of the research methodology
The research methodology as carried out in this research was highly commendable. A large volume of 7000 respondents was good enough for providing data that could be used to reach convincing conclusion. The diverse extent of the data pool also led to a strong representation of the bigger picture. The study’s follow up of 5000 couples was a great bonus to the research method.
The results
While there is always an assumed correlation between couples or people who are living together and sharing intimate space, it cannot be looked at as a theoretical basis for the notion that congruency in personality is a direct result of such closeness. There are some aspects of individual difference that cannot be reconciled yet the resulting mixture shows a similarity in personality.
I also believe that there are some aspects that the study ought to have investigated. How possible is it for men to modify their personality towards that of women, and vice versa?. Does age of the couple have a determining factor in ensuring congruency? How far can external pressures lead to a modification of character, and therefore personality? These are some of the questions whose answers would ensure a justification of this associative remodeling of personality. The reasons for personality realignments will need to be discussed too.
References
Higgins, T. E. (2007). Social Psychology: Handbook of Basic Principles. New York: Guilford Press.
Kassin, S., Fein, S., & Markus, H. (2011). Social Psychology. New York: Cengage Learning.
Nevid, J. S. (2008). Psychology: Concepts and Applications. New York: Cengage Learning.
Rammstedt, B., Spinath, F., Richter, D., & Schupp, J. (2013). Personality Changes in Couples – Partnership longevity and personality congruence in couples. German Socio-Economic Panel Study, 1-17.
Specht, J., Schumkle , S., & Egloff, B. (2011). Stability and Change of Personality Across the Life Course:The Impact of Age and Major Life Events on Mean-Level and Rank-Order Stability of the Big Five. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 4(1), 862-882. Retrieved from http://www.psy.sdnu.edu.cn/perpsy/s/02/05.pdf
