Attraction
A key aspect of attraction is physical attraction. According to Santrock (2011), men and women have different perceptions on the significance of outside beauty when looking for an intimate partner. Women in most cases tend to look for other traits such as financial stability, dependability and honesty while men on the other hand will focus more on the level of outside beauty and ability to cook. Beauty differs from one culture to another and within a culture. For instance, different people may be attracted to either slim or plump individuals. In western cultures, the idea of a beautiful woman is slender and tall whereas in some African cultures well-rounded women are the ideal symbol of beauty. People tend to be attracted to individuals that are more attractive but in the real sense end up being with someone at their own level of attraction (Santrock, 2011). When relationships start, physical attraction is crucial to the progress of the relationship. Based on Freud’s psychoanalytic theories physical attraction towards the opposite sex begins during puberty. The need to have a sexual source outside once families is enhanced by the level of physical attraction a person has.
Aspects of Love
Once physical attraction has been established, certain aspects of love have to be experienced to deepen the relationship. According to Santrock (2011), love may involve friendships, romantic love, affectionate love and consummate love, all of which have intimacy as a central aspect. Intimacy involves the sharing of private thoughts and being literally open about one’s feelings. Based on Erikson’s sixth development stage of intimacy versus isolation, intimacy involves committing yourself to another person. According Zai (1992), Erikson also considers psychosocial intimacy with another person more in terms of friendships. Friendships between opposite sexes form the basis of most romantic relationships that lead to love. Romantic love is deeply characterized by intimacy especially sexual intimacy during the early stages of the relationships. Additionally, infatuation forms a major part in romantic relationships. According to Zai (1992), infatuation involves idealization of a partner and the belief that relating with this other person will satisfy unfulfilled needs. This usually does not last long. As the romantic relationship develops other emotions such as anger, fear, joy, passion and jealousy become crucial to the development of the level of intimacy. Once the romantic relationship develops more, affectionate love becomes apparent where an individual has an increased desire to take care of the other person (Santrock, 2011).
Aspects of Close Relationships
The basis of close relationships depends on the level of familiarity and similarity between different individuals. People tend to associate with individuals who have similar tastes and preferences. For instance, people who have grown up together, worked together or studied in college together may end up develop lifelong friendships or love relationships that lead to marriage. Trust, commitment and longevity are some important aspects that characterize close relationships. According to Santrock (2011), in close relationships where levels of trust are high, one partner may support or comfort the other during periods of distress. However, it is common for close relationships to end. This can have two effects on the individuals involved. For instance, if a close relationship was characterized by a reduction in trust or commitment, parties may feel being dragged down by the relationship. As such, the breaking of such a relationship may generate happiness. On the other hand, a breakup may result to depression and may affect how an individual relates with other people.
Reference
Santrock, J. W. (2011). Life span development (13th Ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.
Zal, H. M. (1992). The sandwich generation: Caught between growing children and aging
parents. New York: Plenum.
