Part 1: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Self fulfilling prophecy can be defined as any negative or positive expectation about circumstances, people, or events that can affect a person’s way of life or behaviour toward them in a manner that makes the expectations be achieved.
On my first day in college, my roommate expected to find a very jovial and talkative person in campus. When we were allocated rooms in University, I had some hard time while learning the new environment. I remember very well while my roommate together with the other friend tried to judge that fact that I was silent. However, that was not the thing; when a new environment is introduced, it would be good if you remain silent and learn the new place first. That is what was in my mind and of course her expectation of a shy roommate was very wrong. I just realized they had a different thinking about my conduct, and I chose to remain silent for the first time to see what they would do and react. Nonetheless, they took advantage of the situation: laughing at me and making me feel like I was a stranger while in the house. It made me realize the kind of roommate I had. Again, the situation made me believe that fate was not on my side.
My friends did not understand that I had a troubled upbringing. I had come to the U.S. at 17, leaving my family behind. My parents were divorced, and I was living with my sister who had a fatal accident later. By the time of her accident, she was pregnant for my brother-in law. That incident alone changed the way I viewed at life and our country in general. I had to move away. Life was not favorable to me at all.
When I came to U.S, I met this charming man who would later become my husband. Although I loved him, we separated for three years and the situation was affecting me. I started to think that I was not lucky when it came to love. Nonetheless, we reconnected 3 years later (in 2013) and hit it off again. We got married again and I moved from Florida to Arizona because he comes from there. Nevertheless, the experience on the first day in campus remains etched in my mind. As Myers states “Each time you undergo rejection, it would punch some holes in your resoluteness, as well as spend more time thinking about what’s the problem with your life.” This is so true to me because every time I got into problems, I would keep to myself and think that I was unlovable and unlucky in my life.
Social theory relates to this self-fulfilling prophecy where you find solace in behaving according to what is expected of you or any person . This models an individual’s character and the way to mingle with the other people. Therefore, this could be related to the way people mingle and appreciate each other. For instance, the expectation of my roommate, made me to be shy since their ideas were that I was an ever shy person from the beginning. While I was trying to study and understand people, I ended up being ever silent and taking less. This would have happened due to the fact that. I had no friends.
In addition, the failure to interact and mingle well with people in my campus at the beginning reinforced the belief that I could not achieve much in life. Again, the initial break-up with my husband for three years had begun to affirm my fears that having a good and stress-free life was something that was unachievable. This could partly explain my withdrawn character when in a group. Nevertheless, I now know that people think differently and thus what could be expected of you might turn out to be different from the reality.
Part 2: Obedience
In 2010, while still in school, my father had an expectation that I would become a medical doctor. This was good because I had the same expectations. However, the problem was that I was a teenager who was only fine in sciences. His idea was based on the fact that, since I was smart when it came to sciences, I would make it as a good doctor. That was wrong (according to me) since that was not what I wanted to do in life. Being a doctor was not to be as comfortable as many people would think. It takes heart to be a doctor, a conscious person, a gift and a call to undertake the task. Therefore, this created a negative impact to me since I was good in sciences, but my call was not to be a doctor. I graduated from college with a good grade which I could have qualified to be a doctor. My parents pushed my way in the medical college thereafter. Though I enrolled as medical practioners, this was not what to do with my life. I wanted to be a psychologist. On the account of my parent’s expectations, I could not qualify as a good doctor; I never loved the job all together. Later, life got complicated; I never made it irrespective of my parent’s expectations. There were so many disadvantages accorded to being expected to be a doctor. First, I was not enjoying the job. Secondly, medical industry is very demanding and it consumes a lot of time, and I was not prepared to spend time working, but having my own businesses which I would manage.
Nevertheless, the decision to choose psychology over medicine affirmed my self-belief; I could do the things I always wanted to do without someone being too judgmental about me. Again, it affirmed my belief I could follow my dreams, regardless of what other people think.
Reference
Myers, D. G. (2012). Exploring Psychology (Palgrave International). London: Worth Publishers.
