Parents generally join their children in the pursuit of their goals by providing them with the necessary resources to succeed, such as equipment and coaching, but most importantly through constant encouragement and support.
However, in some occasions parents get so involved in their offspring’s undertakings that they adopt them as their own and, at times, give them a higher level of importance than the children themselves. This phenomenon is most common in sports culture.
For this interactive assignment, I had the opportunity to interview Mr. John Doe who is a football coach at High School X. The aim of this interview was to analyze the opinion of someone who is familiar with sports culture and constantly interacts with children who practice sports, as well as their parents. Given the length of this interview, this paper will only discuss the points relevant to the issue at hand.
Having heard multiple times about these type of parents who relentlessly pressure their children to become over-achievers in sports, I asked Mr. Doe to name examples he had witnessed of positive and negative behaviors these type of parents engage in. A transcription of his response follows:
“There are many parents who have high expectations of their children. There are some who come up to me and ask me to change their child’s position, let them participate more or any type of request to let their child be a protagonist in the field. I do not have a problem with this; it is natural for a parent to want to see his child thrive. Many parents have a positive involvement in school activities and sports events and have a healthy relationship with the professors, their child’s teammates and me. They attend every game, celebrate if we win, and get disappointed if we lose, but are always there for their child.
The problematic parents are those who get too involved. I have witnessed parents pressure their children to the point of humiliation or, on the contrary, humiliate their competitors who are, of course, children as well. During games, these parents lose the spirit of sportsmanship and often start discussions with me and other parents.”
This declaration by Mr. Doe serves as proof to a statement by Heffernan in one of her articles: “In many cases it becomes clear that it is the parents who want to win. Parents want the dopamine thrill of winning, the heady rush that adults feel with success”.
Regarding the impacts over the children of having parents similar to the ones described, Mr. Doe explained that they vary greatly from child to child. According to him, some children grow to be very competitive, not necessarily in a negative way, pursue their dream of becoming professional football players and impulse themselves beyond their weaknesses. Conversely, some completely lose interest in the sport and only play to satisfy their parent’s demands.
It is primordial to acknowledge the importance of the “fun factor” in a child’s athletic career. Sports are competitive, demanding and at times exhausting, but be above all they are meant to be fun. Occasionally, parents pressure their children to improve their performance at any sport so much that they turn what should be a positive experience into a negative one. Therefore, parents must take into consideration the line between encouragement and intrusion.
Excessive parental interference may cause the child to feel too pressured to succeed, to the point of fearing their parent’s reaction to any negative outcome. Mr. Doe mentioned an occasion in which one of his students injured himself during practice and refused to notify his parents, as he believed that they would berate him for having to miss a few games.
I directly asked Mr. Doe if he believes some parents take it too seriously, to which he responded the following: “Some parents certainly take it too seriously, and sometimes I wonder if they are trying to compensate for their own failures when they were children. I do not interfere with a parent-child relationship, but occasionally I get the urge of telling parents to take their intensity a couple of steps down”.
Having analyzed Mr. Doe’s testimony, and having met some “intense parents” myself, I agree with him in that some parents take sports too seriously. Isaacson pointed out the measures parents of children atheletes should take to build a solid foundation for success, among these are: promote confidence, encouragement, support, patience, good sportsmanship, reminding the importance of perseverance, respect and, above all, act as a supporting mother or father would.
Work Cited
Heffernan, Lisa. Parents Ruin Sports for Their Kids by Obsessing About Winning. October 10, 2013.
Isaacson, Brie. Sports Parenting: A Parent’s Role in Raising Athletes in Today’s Youth Sports Culture-Part I. March 12, 2012.
