I remember when I was a little kid, I always wondered what it meant to have a successful marriage like my mom and dad. There were things about the concept that I did not understand and I wanted to know because even though I never saw my parents make out like other couples, it still made me wonder what it took to get to that point. My father would often tell me about what it took to make a relationship work and the sacrifices that couples had to make in order to make each other happy, it was more of an obligatory duty than it was voluntary. There were times where I would get on the computer to research different ways that couple did things for each other that seem like it was something no one else but them would do, it seem like a long list of things that would not have appealed to most women. I always looked up to my parents as the ideal power couple, they were married for 13 years by the time I was 11-years-old and I always wanted their happiness; finding a mate of my very own that I get to spend the rest of my life with. Ironically, mom and dad had their fights like every other couple, but they were no worse for the wear because they still loved each other no matter what. Throughout my life, I had girlfriend after girlfriend and I never found one that really grew on me; one that I wanted that ideal married life with. I was 17 when I met the woman I thought I wanted to marry, it did not work out because we were two people in two different worlds. After being with this girl for 2 years, it made me realize that I might have lost my one chance at being with that one person who I loved completely and unconditionally. She was my first real girlfriend/ideal fiancée.
I dated other women afterward, but it just seem like I was on the rebound and drifting from one relationship to another. I felt like that with what I had to offer a woman, getting locked down and at least having a child on the way like my parents did when they were my age at the time. My mother was 18 when she and my father got married, I wanted to follow in their footsteps because that is the life I chose for myself; I did not see myself going from woman to woman until I met up with that one I was destined to be with. I was ready to settle down at 18 because my parents set the kind of example for me that I felt like I wanted to follow of my own free will, there was nothing I was not willing to do to have what they have even if it meant settling for anyone. There were too many obstacles blocking my way to wedded bliss and family life, none of my relationships were working out. I right away said “it is not me, it is them” Deep down though, I knew there was more to having a successful relationship/marriage than just hugging, kissing, do little things to arouse one another; there was more to it than that. There was times I would ask myself if I was doing the right thing by going out with all of these women in order to find the woman of my dreams, there were times when I felt like I was running into the same wall over and over. One day, after a breakup with a crazy, unstable, degenerate girl unfit for human life, I decided that was it; I do not care if I ever find that girl or even if I ever get married. The mistakes I was making has drove me to the point that trying to get what my parents have was not worth it to me anymore, there was too much headache to get there. Later on, I went to college and I dated girls there thinking that college girls were far more mature than the girls I have been dealing with so far. How wrong I was, I felt like it was my hometown dating situation all over again, half of the girls I talked to on a daily basis were not into interracial dating lest they shame their families and the other half I dated were losers with exploration tendencies to sleep around.Once again, I felt like I was right back at square one, no fiancée in sight or child on the way.
Years past, I took time out for myself after I graduated from college and started working on a project close to my heart while I figure things out as far as what I had to change vs. what I was not doing right as well as the consequences of being hasty. I decided to take a long hiatus from relationships until I can answer those questions that were plaguing my young 31 year old mind, I did end up getting answers to them shortly after I finished my project. Ironically, I downloaded a dating online app on my iPod touch and saw the prettiest girl I have ever seen. She was wearing glasses and I complemented her on them, I learned the girl’s name was Nicole; we established a rapport then we started talking for a little while before we met up close. At the time, I wanted nothing more than friendship with Nicole because I knew that we would be nothing more than just friends because as I learned from past mistakes, rushing gets you nothing and I was sure Nicole only wanted friendship too; that is how I was sure she saw me. After talking to each other for a month or so I began to realize that Nicole was not like any other girl I have dealt with thus far, this is a girl who was willing to give me every dime to her name to buy whatever I wanted or throw herself in front of a moving truck just to save my life; this was a girl that I was not going to let get away. We built a relationship based on our love for mutual things and common interests, it was then that I felt a feeling I have not felt ever; the true meaning of love.
Suddenly, it dawned on me, the key to getting what mom and dad have is by taking your time, “I said, I get it now, 21 years after the fact, but I get it” I have never been more in love with any woman than I was with Nicole, I did not want to ever live without her. Later, I found out that she was pregnant with our son Kendrick, it was a dream come true for me. We got married 5 ½ months before Kendrick was born, the day we put those wedding bands on each other’s fingers, I knew I found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Shortly thereafter, Kendrick was born and I became the proud husband and father of my own family. I ended up accomplishing my goal of following in my parent’s footsteps and I learned very valuable lessons along the way that I can impart to my son on his journey to find that special woman he will one day seek.
