Raising a perfect family in the 21st century has proven to be a lot more different than it was two decades ago. With so many technological advancements around and many people going with the flow, family dynamics have changed. The present culture depends so much on what they find online whether good or bad. Friendships are formed through social so are they broken. At the family level, parents are constantly chatting with their peers and strangers, many more Facebook and send tweets even during family gatherings or meetings. The influence that social media has had on families is changing modes of parenting as well as how family members relate with one another. Of importance is the fact that social media is occupying and taking so much of family time so much so that members of the family feel more comfortable chatting with their virtual friends than with themselves. But there is a positive side to the use of social media by families. It is easier to catch up with family and even be in the lives of each other even when members are miles apart. In as much as one may want to look at the negatives social media has on the family unit there is so much family members stand to benefit from it.
Parents are trying so hard to keep up with a certain type of lifestyle projected by the people in their circles on social media so much so that they forget the basics that build strong family ties. That is especially true when they go on to stereotype a certain type of lifestyle that is being projected by their peers (Clarks, 2013). It is a crazy world where some even go as far as taking photo shoots just for media consumption and to sell themselves as perfect families when the opposite is true. For instance, a mother might want to show the perfect family she has by taking photos while vacationing or even taking time to do the things they have seen their peers do. Parents can set out to have their children join in a baking escapade just for the cameras at the expense of the comfort of their comfort and that of their children. Funnily, those moments are art directed and not for the good of the family, and that may end up doing the family more harm than good.
Many parents are struggling to keep up with the standards and expectations of their children and the people in their social media circles. Parents and their children could be seated in one room at home, not speaking to each other but in tabs with their virtual friends. In the end, they ignore or become disconnected with the needs of their children and that negatively affects their relationships. Children, on the other hand, will be too busy receiving the wrong information from their peers and the internet and before anyone realizes it, there will be a total disconnect between parents and their children (Gold, 2015). It is for that reason that scholars think that the 21st century crop of parents has failed in their parenting because they have let the internet parent their children for them.
Today, both public and private information is easily circulated on social media platforms, and that has greatly affected the privacy people used to enjoy in the past. That has come with its share of dangers because not everyone is smart about what they share with the strangers they or even friends they meet online. Many find themselves not censoring their private matters on social media, and that has led to an increase in cyber crimes where some people become easy targets for criminals (Cox & Demmitt, 2013). Young people have found themselves becoming easy targets which are easily lured to give private information to people they do not know. The world has become hawk- eyed and innocent young people are having a hard time because of the overexposure they have all thanks to social media. In the end, it seems as though these young people did not get cautioned y their parents about social media censorship because the parents were not keen enough to give them the rules of their involvement on social media. Perhaps the parents have not been careful themselves.
Parents are failing to become the good role models they are expected to be to their children because they are too busy on social media themselves. Everyone today is glued to their small screens on their phones or computers to mind whatever that is going on in the living spaces around them. Parents have failed to serve as good role models because they do not command the moral authority to stop their children from over indulgence on social media. When a parent is constantly glued to their devices and social media, it becomes difficult for them to ask their children to desist from overindulging in it (Steiner- Adair & Barker, 2014). So, therefore, when they yell at their children and warn them against using it yet find themselves using it they end up giving instructions they do not follow themselves. It is only important that parents took their time to model a character they would wish their children could emulate rather than do the opposite of what they teach them.
Many parents find themselves spending a lot of physical time with their children but are miles away from them. Many of them leave office or their private businesses on time to be home to spend time with their children. But they find themselves psychologically attending to their business especially when they are glued to their screens attending virtual meetings or in constant communication with their clients. Many of them are constantly glued to social media forums where they share ideas with other people and forget the very reason they go home to be with their children. It is not enough that parents are connected with their children yet mentally and socially connected to the virtual world (Gold 2015). That denies their children the ability to know what it feels to spend time with their parents when they need them most.
Many families are concerned about their public appearances and thus strive to be that perfect family that everyone in town should be emulating. Some women are more concerned about how others view them as a mother and wife while some men want to show the world how they are taking good care of their families. These are the parents that are interested in showing off to the world by carefully selecting the activities their families engage in as well as how they lead their lives so as to be socially accepted or admired (Steiner- Adair & Barker, 2014). That often happens at their expense and that of their children who have to be driven around by the whims of their very parents. Many are more interested in presenting their lives as perfect even when they are far from being perfect. There is a perfect form of flattery and that sets the pace for the typical middle-class families that are more concerned with fitting in some social circles to seek approval and acceptance from society. But that does not work for the good of the family in the long run.
Even with all its negative attributes and influence of the 21st century family, social media has broken the boundaries and walls that existed before, a lot of information is available to everyone because it only takes one posing a question on their social media platforms and they get instant answers (Chambers, 2013). A good example can be seen through the many Facebook pages that have been formed on some issues. For instance, first-time mothers can put forth a question about how to go about their experiences on a platform where there are other mothers who have had similar experiences or challenges. Parents and children share with others some of the issues that it might have taken them ages to learn but through social media, it will only take a matter of seconds (Clark, 2013). Besides that, it is inevitable to ignore the fact that it has become a lot easier for parents to know their children better through having a glimpse at what they do on social media. It has become a lot harder to know what is going on in the life of a teenager by sitting them down to ask questions. But a glimpse at their Facebook pages one can tell when they are seeing someone, bored or even having an exciting time in their lives.
Social media has continued to transform society and more so the family unit. It has influenced the way family members relate to one another. But it is only prudent that families take a few hours or day offline just to have quality time together. Technology is getting in the way of parents and children so much so that family members are being reduced to mere housemates. A concern has been raised about how many parents are using social media as a tool for distracting their children or getting them to do what they want. The sad reality is that society is losing touch with the roles played by all family members for a healthy society.
References
Chambers, D. (2013). Social Media and Personal Relationships: Online Intimacies and Networked Friendship. New York: Palgrave Macmillan.
Clark, L. S. (2013). The Parent App: Understanding Families in the Digital Age. New York: OUP
Cox, F. D. &Demmitt, K. (2013).Human Intimacy: Marriage, the Family and its Meaning. Belmont: Cengage Learning.
Gold, J. (2015).Screen- Smart Parenting: How to Find Balance and Benefit in Your Child’s Use of Social Media, Apps, and Digital Devices. New York: The Guilford Press.
Steiner- Adair, C. & Barker, T. (2014).The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age. New York: HarperCollins.
