Introduction
Loving is a feature of enduring friendships. When loving exists in due measure between friends, it cements the friendship. According to Aristotle, friendship is a virtue or it has implications of virtue. It stimulates good actions, deepens action and provides refuge in times of misfortune or poverty. He contends that for real friendship to exist, it must be reciprocated. He underlines three types of friendships. Pleasure friendships are based on love for the purposes of deriving pleasure for oneself. Utility friendships are based on obtaining what is favorable for oneself while goodness friendships are based on admiration of the inner qualities of the other person. He prefers the third kind by asserting that goodness relationships are the most perfect type of friendships. In so doing, he implies that friendships are more dependent on loving than they are dependent on being loved.
Aristotle gives different reasons why this is true. He argues that friendships that are based on pleasure and utility are short-lived. In the real world situation, this is true because if one loves another person because they are good-looking or fun to be with, this friendship may come to an end when the person has grown old or falls ill and is not the same lively, beautiful or fun person that they used to be. This cannot be true friendship. Secondly, love that is based on goodness endures. This is the kind of love that is more dependent on loving than expecting to be loved. An example of this is the love a mother has for her child, which may even make the mother hand over their child to someone who takes better care of the child than the mother herself. It is the type of love that is enduring.
The third reason why friendships rely on loving than receiving love is based on the notion that true friendships are those between two equal people. This is because only then can love be equally reciprocated and justice achieved. This implies that justice in friendships comprises of equal loving between the parties. An example provided by Aristotle is that of friendships in which one person is more beautiful than the other or is wealthier than the other. He quips that in such friendships, there is often calls from one person to the other asking to be loved back in the same extent that they love the other. Friendships are dependent on community. However, he says that there can still be true friendship if the differences between friends are not overbearing on their bond. He examines this argument from the basis of the types of government by saying that the worst kind of friendship is mirrored by the worst kind of government which is tyranny.
Conclusion
Aristotle underlines the fact that true friendship is more dependent on loving than being loved. He provides real life examples to underpin this claim. He identifies three types of friendships: those based on pleasure, those based on utility and those based on goodness. He asserts that friendships based on goodness are the true friendships. Friendships based on pleasure or utility are not true because they do not last long while those based on goodness endure. For friendships to be true, they must also exist in equality and justice.
