Life is usually more fun and exciting when it is spent with other people. These other people can be considered as companions, associates, or mere acquaintances. The term that is more familiar would be friends, and these are usually the people we spend as much time with as our families. Friends come and go, but usually we are not without one at any period of time. And in this time that you spend together with that person or group of people, we develop certain habits of communication which are unique to that person or set of friends, forming some sort of a friendship code.
Language is symbolic – literally. An example would be during my elementary years, me and my friends thought of a way of talking to each other without anybody else finding out what we were talking about. We developed a secret code using random symbols to represent letters in the alphabet. These were used to compose messages or letters on our “secret” notebook (it was also a way of passing time while there were boring lectures). And we were really ecstatic about doing it so we would pass around the notebook every period to another person in our group. However, later on we grew tired of writing these letters/messages because it was easier for us to talk on the phone or chat privately. Eventually, it became sort of a fond memory from our younger days. When someone says “Hey, do you remember our secret code?” we’d think back on it and have a good laugh. It’s because only we know what it meant, and surely we wouldn’t be sharing that kind of geeky past to our current friends.
Another example would be that there’s a tendency of developing a new way of speaking may it be through phrases that have underlying meanings or using casual language such as slang terms. Due to the fact that we spend a lot of time with these people, some people will tend to imitate the way their friends speak unintentionally. In my case, I usually do it because it sounds “cooler” when things are said in a certain way. It can also be considered as my way of fitting in with the group. This concept is known as convergence . Divergence is the opposite which means that a person intentionally speaks in a different way than that of his friends in order to stand out. And usually, I really find people like this very amusing because in such a way, that person is somehow imprinted on your mind, making him/her unforgettable. This is another remarkable thing about language. Not only does it provide knowledge expansion through communication of ideas, it also leaves various imprints of your daily lives inside your subconscious.
However, as I stated previously, friendships and people come and go as time passes and as we undertake various endeavors in our lives. What happens often is that as we go through different stages in our lives we make a new set of friends (which is true in my case). Like, my friends in pre-school were different from my friends in elementary school and high school. You’d only get to keep one or two from each stage with whom you still maintain constant communication with. And along with these changes in friendship circles, the way we speak and converse becomes different. Again, in my case it is my way of adapting to the group and trying to fit in.
I believe that going through all those relationships with friends of both past and present has been more of a benefit to me than a disadvantage. Because, I think that being able to deal with a variety of people is a skill that doesn’t come naturally. In the future, we are bound to be faced with challenging attitudes and just plain repelling people. Being able to adjust ourselves to such situations will help us improve in making interpersonal relationships in the future like knowing which groups you would fit in well, etc. With regards to symbolism in language, I think that these help us in strengthening bonds with the people around us. In life it will be difficult to function independently without the help of anyone else – thus, friendships are formed.
Works Cited
Adler, Ronald Brian and Russell F. Proctor II. "Language: Barrier and Bridge." Adler, Ronald Brian and Russell F. Proctor II. Looking Out, Looking In. Cengage Learning, 2010.
Wickersham, Joan. "The language of marriage." 25 June 2010. boston.com. 11 March 2013
