Thesis Comparison
1.1Grading Grid
Thesis Title: Corporate branding in the age of ongoing change: How to remain authentic and modern at the same time?
Thesis Title: Restaurant tipping: the impact of the acknowledgment of gratitude on customer’s future intentions regarding revisit and word of mouth.
Comparing Two Masters Thesis
Both of the writing samples provided were passable samples of a master’s thesis, which demonstrate elements of strength, however there were also significant weaknesses which should be discussed in detail. Overall, I preferred the second thesis over the first,, both because of writing style, and ultimately because of the depth of analysis of the findings and recommendations of r applications for the study.
Generally, the writing style and command of English was better in the second thesis than in the first. In the first thesis, there were run on sentences and use of vague language that significantly contributed to the difficulty that I had reading and understanding the latent points in the thesis. In essence, poor writing style and formatting made it hard to read, or created a distraction from the authors’ research and priority point. There was also a significant flaw in the research design for the first paper.
The papers greatest strength was the use of analysis, though the method for collecting the data was weak, the overall interpreting of data was original and very strong. It clearly, and accurately defined the variables in use. However, there is concern that they distributed the survey exclusively via online avenues, and to “relatives” which may create a bias in the data. It is never considered a strong way to collect samples to use exclusively those who you know personally or have physical contact with.
Further, with regard the paper considered the impact of colour and recognisability, and referred to the Adidas logo as typically black, however, this is a gross oversight on the part of the researcher. The Adidas symbol does not have a traditional colour. It is a different colour on every design of clothing or shoes, based on the individual items colour pallet. As such, it would be readily recognizable, and generate a sense of familiarity and trust, regardless of the colour.
In contrasts, the second study used a much more consistent, and better designed methodology for measuring success or failure. However, there were elements of the design that were simply assumed, or taken from previous similar projects. The author did not seem to have a reason for selecting these measures, like internal validity, other than the fact that they were successfully used in other research. Another apparent weakness of the second design is that survey were collected from voluntary respondents, and so may not give a full picture of the view s and opinions of the population of interest, and there was not an active counter measure to the skew that could result from this data collection process in the analysis of the data.
In the case of the first paper, in order to improve the writing overall, it is first and foremost imperative that the paper be given a more through read through, as it relates to grammar and use of language. Sentences need a clear structure that presents information in a meaningful way. Currently, there are long wordy sentences that are hard to follow, and which ultimately say very little. It is the writer’s responsibility to ensure that every sentence communicates exactly what they intend to and move the project in a meaningful direction.
Also, if colour of the icon or logo is to be one of the major points of analysis, it is essential not to use a logo that is recognizable, or currently created by the brand, in a wide variety of colours. Adidas should be removed from the study, and it should be replaced with a logo that is always the same colour, or otherwise, all of the brand logos referenced should be used in a full prism of colours routinely. Otherwise the outcomes cannot be accurately compared. Otherwise, the research question, design, and controlling focus is good and capable of yielding meaningful results. This major design flaw concerns me because it undermines all of his findings so drastically. It is hard to understand how his thesis reached this point without anyone catching it and negotiating a revamp of the thesis as a whole.
The second paper needs to focus to a greater degree on the limitations of the sampling method, and consider avenues for future research in greater details. While it is mentioned, I would like the writer to spend more time on the importance of it, as it addresses this paper’s specific weaknesses, and strengthens the body of data overall.
With regard to my own work, this makes me significantly more aware of what those grading my work will be looking for, and what they will, or will not, actively ask me to change. It is essential that I focus on the way I use language to advocate my position, and that I pay close attention to sentence structure, typos and other linguistic features which might create a distraction that draws the reader’s’ attention away from my research design and findings. It is also significant that I fully research and understand the variables, and how they are used in advance to writing my paper, in order to avoid major flaws in the design that effect the relevancy, or reliability for my findings. Finally, it is important that I be able to actively justify the decisions that I make and measuring tools I use at every step of the project, rather than making any selection at random. The thesis must be designed with intention in mind. Adhering to these ideas will make my findings more reliable, and my research more meaningful overall.
