The “Lament for a son” is a book by the well-known scholar Nicholas Wolterstorff, where he has tried to express his deep grief about losing his son. Wolterstorff lost his 25-year-old son Eric in a mountain climbing accident. He found joy in the death of his son by considering death as an inevitable reality of life. Though the topic and subject of the book are highly sensitive and personal but according to Wolterstorff, he believed that after publishing the book others who have been through the same irreplaceable pain would be able to relate to it. The paper highlights the well-known philosopher Wolterstorff’s journey of losing his son. Wolterstorff went through Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief and eventually found comfort in his loss. The paper draws attention towards the significance of death within Christian narrative and the hope of resurrection in comforting Wolterstorff’s loss.
Death is inevitable and painful reality of life and Wolterstorff dealt with it bravely. Wolterstorff learned a lesson that losing a loved one can cause one to feel the pain more closely. He faced the painful reality of the death and went through five stages of grief defined by Kubler-Ross. Christianity answers such concerns of the people who have felt the pain of death. Though death separates the soul from the body, it teaches a lesson to the loved ones who lose someone they love for their entire life. Over the time, patience is imparted with the one who loses someone close (McCloskey, 2016). The five stages as described by Kubler-Ross are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Wolterstorff went through these stages and found joy in his journey by accepting the death of someone he loved his entire life. His reaction to death was natural, and he considered death to be his enemy. In the need of comfort, Wolterstorff turned to the bible, and Bible proved to be one of the reasons to provide him joy in the journey. Nevertheless, he faced all five stages of grief and eventually he found comfort in his loss. Initially, he found it very difficult to cope with sad reality but through the firm promise of God about resurrection made him feel ecstatic, and he accepted the reality. In the Bible, it has been said that the death is not an end, for those who have done good deeds will be rewarded. “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on” (Revelation 14:13). Furthermore, the God in the bible has promised the resurrection. In the Bible, “Do not marvel at this, for the hour is coming in which all those who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth-those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation” (John 5:28-29, NKJV). Such strengthening verses of the bible also helped Wolterstorff to find joy in the journey. Christian faith revolves around the resurrection of Jesus. Hence, Wolterstorff’s believe in resurrection helped him find joy in his painful journey. Everyone goes through these five stages after losing someone close, and these five stages are part of the schema. In the “Lament for a son”, the author has tried to help perhaps those having difficulty in coping up with the harsh reality of life. The death of his 25-year-old son taught him a great lesson, and the efforts he made to find joy in the death made him appear calmer on the exterior. Death is not normal, and it is a brutal fact of human history, and God promises hope of resurrection. Wolterstorff has tried to make peace with his son’s death by having firm believe in resurrection promised by God.
In facing all the stages of grief as addressed by Kubler-Ross, Wolterstorff faced his demons and accepted the death of his son. In the book, he has explained in detail his courage of facing all five stages of grief. It is in human nature to go through all this while accepting the reality of death of someone dear. The first stage is denial, and Wolterstorff was in denial and at first did not accept the reality and believed his son was not dead. As the time passed he had to move on and accept the reality. The second stage is anger, Wolterstorff was angry with God for putting him through the painful test of losing someone he loved for his entire life. He was angry with everything surrounding him, and his life turned out to be a wreck. He had a difficult time in accepting the death of his son that he has described beautifully in the book “Lament for a son”. The third stage includes bargaining where one finds ways to avoid the cause of grief and tries to compromise with the reality. Wolterstorff did face the third stage of bargaining, where he tried to avoid the painful reality of losing someone he hoped to be his companion in his older life. It is the natural procedure to handle the trauma by going through all five stages of grief. After compromising comes the fourth stage of depression, a person ends up depressed and loses interest in life. Wolterstorff has explained somewhat similar stage in his book that he was utterly depressed after losing his son. He lost interest in living his life and started waiting for his death. His cold behavior towards life, friends, and family was affecting everyone he loved including himself. Bible proved to be helpful for him in such hard times, and he started to pen down his feelings, one of the best ways to avenge the pain. He found joy in his painful journey after the death of his son by accepting the reality and living with it. He also believed in the resurrection and hoped to see his son in after life. The final stage that proved to be essential for him to find joy in his journey was the acceptance. In the fifth stage of acceptance, one finds peace with the reality and accepts it with an open heart . Wolterstorff did endure the fifth stage by accepting the death of his son and found joy in his journey. Bible proved to be an essential source of joy in Wolterstorff's journey. His journey of accepting the death of his 25-year-old son made him stronger than before.
It has been concluded that death is a harsh reality and losing someone close is harsher than death. Through the book “lament for a son”, one can learn ways to find peace with the death of loved ones and go through the five stages of grief as addressed by Kubler-Ross easily.
Works Cited
Axelrod, J. (2016). The 5 Stages of Loss & Grief. Retrieved from http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
Bible Hub. (2016). The Significance of Death. Retrieved 2from http://biblehub.com/sermons/auth/clarkson/the_significance_of_death.htm
Kübler-Ross, E. (2011). On Death and Dying. New York City: Simon and Schuster.
McCloskey, J. (2016). The Spiritual Meaning of the Resurrection. Retrieved from http://spiritualprogressives.org/newsite/?page_id=1065
Wolterstorff, N. (1987). Lament for a Son. Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing.
