Free Essay On Norms Violation

No one likes to have their well-deserved privacy to be intruded upon at any level. We live in a world that compels us to perform within a stringent regime to survive, and this not only cause a lot of physical torture, but mental as well. In such a situation, a person who finds time to escape from the mechanized world to find time some time for him/herself will unwelcome any form of intrusion into their personal space This is precisely what happened to me when, in my attempt to pick up a conversation with a stranger at the park one day. It was one of those days when I thought I would take a little walk back home from work. That’s when I thought I’ll take some time to relax and sit in the park. Being a weekend, the park was crowded, and there was hardly any spot available for me to sit. To my luck, I spotted a bench occupied by a man who seemed lost from his looks. I went over and sat next to him. He didn’t seem to notice as he kept staring into oblivion. It was then that I decided to enter into a conversation with him. I began by telling him how tough my day was, and it was nice to have some time off for oneself. He didn’t even say a word and kept looking away, as though I never existed. Quite surprised by his insensitiveness, I moved a little closer to him and asked him if he was okay. He slowly turned to face me and told me to mind my own business. That was rude, and I retracted a little thinking that he would jump on me, which fortunately he didn’t. However, that didn’t stop him from staring at me sternly. Before I could express my apologies for disturbing him, he got up and walked away. If that wasn’t bad enough, he turned around and used certain expletives to add salt to my wound. Why he did this, I have no clue, but I did understand from that day, that it was better to be to oneself, rather than getting into an unwelcome situation.
It’s perhaps difficult to judge people by their appearance. In life, we make friends with those whom we believe share a common interest or like. This bond is not born overnight. It takes time for true friendships to develop. It would border on idiosyncrasy if someone were to try and develop a friendship with a stranger whom you had never met before in their life, like I did. It was not with the intention of making friends that I thought I’ll have a chat with that stranger, but just to kill time as long as we could. I thought that there was an opportunity to talk and take my mind away from the tensions of the day, if we could develop some form of communication. Besides, every new person you bump into would have a story to tell of their own and that would be very interesting to hear. However, in almost all cases, it never works that way. This is because; each person has a view of their own, and while some may be receptive and welcome a stranger, others may not like their privacy intruded upon and react differently. This brings us to the question the norms of intentions of these people.
Like mentioned a little earlier, everyone has his/her preferences, and these preferences are their own and cannot be explicitly defined by anyone, other than by them. It would be very difficult to apprehend such acts, leave alone why they react in such a manner. Social norms govern one’s behavior in groups and societies. The influence of the environment around them is sure to influence their actions, and so, it may not come as a surprise to say that that stranger in the park might have had some form of affiliation to a group that lived under constant provocation. He could be a guy who lives with the fear of being insecure and is pressured to perform in a highly competitive market, or maybe, he just had a bad day at the office and wanted to be on his own. There is also the possibility that the person had an argument with his family or had a tiff with his girl-friend. The possibilities are innumerable, and it would be difficult to pinpoint the actual reason for his action. Social norms can be influenced by culture, social functions, and legal rules.
People react differently to situations because of the influence these norms have on them. However, it is difficult to understand the violation of which norm causes such embarrassment in public places. Since norms are a major influence on constraining one’s behavior, it is hard to differentiate between social, moral, and legal norms. Social norms, as with other norms, can cause unexplained interactions. This is so, because, while that stranger acted indifferently to me because of my intrusion, there may be many others who would have welcomed me and entered into a friendly conversation. Since the norms that are interesting to study are those that emerge without planning or design, as in the case of mine, where I went up to a stranger without having planned it earlier, it would be interesting to analyze the conditions under which norms such situations present themselves. It is important to note that norms, such as honesty, loyalty, reciprocity and keeping promises, to name a few, are crucial in bringing together people of different views. It is these virtues that develop sincerity and cooperation among social groups. This was not the case with me. There was no way the stranger could have known me, or for that matter, reciprocated my advances. This explains why sizable, close-knit groups which maintain constant interactions with each other, gel well. Here, the repeated meetings allow these people in the group the opportunity to learn from each other’s behavior, and develop a means to reciprocate them to minimize any possibility of misinterpretation. One has to have the means to reciprocate to be effective and this takes time. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that the stranger acted in the way he did. Thus, if I was to have had a conversation with that stranger, I should have had the norm to reciprocate, which in this case, would have been disastrous.
One, therefore, needs to understand that there has to be a conformity in their behavior, in accordance to the situation they find themselves. This is not what I did. I should have realized that the stranger demanded privacy, and that should have been given to him when I sat next to him. This could have led to a situation where the stranger would have reciprocated and left me to myself. Had I followed the golden rule of confirming to that stranger’s desire, I would have been accepted into the group where we both had our space, and there would have been no aggressiveness; as shown by the stranger, and absolutely no painful rejection.