It is the desire of every parent to raise happy, healthy, and successful children of good character. Parents try to do everything in their power to achieve this. A child is born of parents from two different sexes. The parents are usually the pillar and symbol of success. It is presumed that both men and women have their own importance in the lives of their children. While the father may deal with paternally related issues, the mother may help in training the child in various aspects. Therefore, both parents are quite necessary in the life of a child. Both parents should assume equal responsibility in the life of a child. This is what will help a child become healthy, successful and of good character.
While gender roles may differ from one community to the other, a child is born of two parents; male and female. According to science, it is difficult to calculate just how much each parent contributes to the makeup of this child. As such, every parent is said to contribute a half of the total chromosomes. Therefore, it is imperative that each parent contributes equally to the life of every child (Bilbarz and Stacey 6). Every parent has their responsibility in their child’s life, and holds the discretion to shoulder it. Any characters that are developed in a child are dependent on the ones inculcated by the parents. All the developmental stages in a human being are taken as milestones. The success with which one surpasses these stages is usually a reflection of the contribution of each parent. This essay will analyse the needed contribution of each parent in every aspect of a child’s life.
Psychosocial Development
Various psychologists have delved into the issues of the development of a child. One such significant study was done by the psychologist Erickson. He divided a child’s psychosocial development into a number of stages (Wiley web). Regardless of the criticisms, Erickson’s theory of psychosocial development has been accepted by a number of experts. Each stage of the developmental process is a precarious milestone that should be handled properly in order for successful development of the consecutive stage.
The first stage is related to the creation of trust. The success of this stage is completed successfully when the child develops trust (Wiley web). For this to happen, the contribution of both parents is required. For instance; the child cries when they need attention. If this is provided, then the child develops trust. The efficiency with which attention is provided at this stage is dependent on the contribution of each parent (Bilbarz and Stacey 7). It should be noted that the child requires a lot of attention that cannot be offered fully by one parent. This stage is akin to Freud’s oral stage of psychosexual development that requires similar attention.
The consecutive stage is where a child develops independence of thought. A child requires parental contribution if this milestone is to be surpassed successfully (Bilbarz and Stacey 14). The other stages require similar parental attention. It should be noted that, each parent plays a significant role in this case. However, it is almost impossible for a parent to perform all these roles on their own. It requires the effort of both parents regardless of the sex of the child. For instance; a fatherly figure is required at the psychosexual stage of the development of a girl. If the father is lacking, then the child may not completely develop and this will lead to some emotional problems in future.
Social development
Among the many environmental and other aspects that affect a child’s development, the parents are an important facet (Brown and Lyengar 16). Evidence has shown that the parents are a necessary part of emotional and social development. Science also provides evidence of genetic makeup affecting the way a one socialises. A child learns a lot from imitation and observation. This contributes to empathy which determines the line of development. A child is likely to follow a parent who he or she spends more time with. Spending time with both parents equally contributes to the enrichment of social character (Wiley web).
Emotional development
Each parent contributes a large portion on the emotional outcome of the child. Children hold on to their emotions fervently. As such, it is important to inculcate positive emotions in children. For instance; if a parent tells a child that they are stupid, they grow up believing that they are so. This feeling lasts until adulthood. A longitudinal study on the same has been done by various authors. It was proven that children who grow up with compassionate parents are quite stable emotionally as adults. These children do not develop emotional health problems (Lublin 1). If this is to be executed successfully, then there is a need for the attention from both parents. The compassion from both parents enhances stability in a child.
Children also develop emotions from studying their parent’s emotions. This begins at a very early stage. In fact, a child will reflect the emotional feelings of a parent from birth. Parenting can be a very emotional and difficult period. However, with the support of each other, the whole process becomes easier to handle. Therefore, both parents should contribute equally to the child’s upbringing.
Gender Formation and Role Development
In the society, various roles are developed for specific genders. For instance; traditionally, a woman is required to cook and clean for her family while the man is required to provide for his family (Meeker 12). Usually, a child develops interest for the roles of the parent they share a similar gender with. The boys tend to lean on fatherly roles while the girls learn how to perform chores that are left for them. The child learns by imitation, observation and teachings from the said parent. The parent in this case is the primary caretaker.
The efficiency with which a child performs some of these functions is dependent on the parent’s teachings. In fact, in some societies, a parent was blamed if the child was unable to perform these functions as expected. In the current society, gender roles are not being performed as expected. A typical scenario is a bachelor who takes up female chores like washing and cooking. Also gay men and lesbian women perform the roles of both sexes. One of the factors attributed to this is the failure of a proper parental example (Bilbarz and Stacey 11). For instance; since the 1990’s, there has been an increase in the number of people opting for single parenthood.
Sometimes, the parent is separated from the child during divorce and such like situations. For example, if a boy spends more time with the mother, knowing female like chores is almost inevitable. However, if both parents are available equally, it is easier for the child to differentiate female from male roles. Some studies suggest that unequal parental contribution is one of the main causes of the increase in gay and lesbian marriages. This is because some of these gender roles include the formation of sexuality (Downey 130).
Parental Contribution to Student Achievement
A typical example in this case is academic achievement. First, both parents function as coaches to their children. They train them on the basic necessities of life, courtesy and even how to manage their time. Parents also expose their children to age appropriate activities meant to stimulate their well being. For instance; a father may teach the son how to play a game like football. The mother may contribute by cheering the same child during a football game. It is some of these contributions that encourage the child to develop properly thus improving their general achievement. Without the presence of one of the parents, it may be impossible to perform this task with success.
Scaffolding is an immensely important part of learning. Just like building blocks, scaffolding allows the child to experiment and fail. This inculcates the culture of success and failure in a child (Brown and Iyengar 15). Developmental experts insist that a child should be allowed that chance to experiment and experience in order to enhance learning that would lead to achievement. It is the parents who help in providing this type of environment. For instance; while a mother teaches a child how to care for animals, the father may teach him how to get food for those animals. Some of these activities are satisfactory if done as a family. For instance; a family game like monopoly on certain days of the week can be useful. As such, both parents are necessary for equal contribution in the child’s life. The feeling of being together is quite effective in creating a learning environment.
Any child learns by interacting with the environment (Meeger 12; Lublin 1). The environment is determined by the parents. Research conducted on this issue revealed that a child’s behaviour and achievement is a reflection of the environment around the child. A conducive environment for academic achievement is one with both parents. This environment is a creation of both parents. Moreover, every individual is equipped with various capabilities. The contribution of both parents enhances the pool over which the child can get help thus increasing the chances of achievement (Brown and Iyengar 23).
Parental Contribution to Effective Punishment
Punishment is an important part of any child’s development. In fact, it is an effective way of ensuring that the community is safe and free of bad people. The culture of good- bad or right- wrong should be inculcated in children from the time they are young and conscious. Studies have shown that effective punishment is one that is instituted by both parents. Equal contribution of each parent is required to drive the message home (Meeker 56; Lublin web). For example; if a child knows that they will be punished by both parents, they shun from doing something wrong. The opposite effect has been recognised in separated families. Children should know that the decision to punish them was unanimously made by both parents.
Conclusion
Both parents are required to share equal responsibility in the upbringing of a child. This is what leads to a healthy and sound mind individual. The mere fact that a child is made of 50 percent from every parent should be reason enough. However, various studies show that there is more to it. First, parents contribute to a child’s psychosocial development. The presence of both parents is required in this case. Basically, through the encouragement of parents, a child develops emotionally and socially. Similarly, academic achievement is a product of the contribution of both parents. The male and female aspect of conventional parents allows a child to differentiate roles according to gender. While this may not be necessarily specific, the masculinity or femininity of a child is also reflected in their roles. Finally, parents are necessary in the institution of effective punishment.
Works Cited
Bilbarz, Timothy and Stacey, Judy. How does the gender of parents matter? Journal of marriage and family. 72: 3-22, 2010. Print.
Brown, Lola & Iyengar, Shrinidhi. Parenting Styles: The Impact on Student Achievement. Marriage & Family Review 43 (1-2): 14–38, 2010. Print.
Downey, David. The school performance of children from single-mother and single-father families: Economic or interpersonal deprivation? Journal of Family Issues,15, 129 –147, 1994. Print.
Lublin, Joan. “How high achieving parents raise star scions.” The wall street journal. January 18, 2013 from http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323468604578248242767407084.htm
Meeker, Meg. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know. Michigan: Ballantine Books, 2009. Print.
Wiley, Blackwell. “Do children need both a mother and a father?” science daily, January 28, 2010. Web. May 17, 2013. Print.
