The book ‘Girl & Sex: Navigating the complicated new landscape’ is a book by the author, Peggy Orenstein. The book mostly features girls and their experience with sexual encounters. In this regard, Orenstein undertakes an in-depth research into a topic that is least discussed in the average American home, that of sex.
More specifically, Orenstein delves into changing values and culture and their impact on young teenage women. To investigate what this aspect entails, Orenstein features personal accounts of 70 young women, between the ages 15 and 20 to recount their sexual experiences.
The book provides a refreshing outlook into a topic that has been clearly blurred by the media, especially in pop culture. The current world age emphasize on the wrong values, and their impact on the lives they affect is so tremendous that it is alarming.
In this case, in order to fit in a particular social group, one feels the pressure to conform to their values, lifestyles, and practices. This element is particularly revealed in sex. Currently, sex has become the norm in the society. This fact has been further flamed by media influences. However, in spite of its wide prevalence, the victims of its mistaken association and meaning have been girls.
It is alarming that girls’ view about sex has been that of gaining acceptance in order to instill a feeling of belonging. As such, they engage in sexual encounters for the pleasure of the guy as opposed to that of their own. This aspect is well revealed in the book as one of the girls informs Orenstein that ‘oral sex is equivalent to money or used as a type of currency’. She goes further and explains that oral sex is impersonal than compared to other types of intimate sexual methods and an effective way to make friends with cooler guys.
These views, coming from a high school graduate are shocking and appalling. Having one’s penis in one’s mouth is everything but impersonal. The mere fact that the one offering oral sex feels the need to perform this act for the acceptance of a guy is sad. This goes on to show the confused sense of what sex should be and the underlying reasons for engaging in the experience. Orenstein brings this aspect to the forefront as she is concerned about their own pleasure, as it is clearly the guy who enjoys the experience.
One aspect that frequently haunts girls is that of gaining acceptance. In this regard, girls are willing to do anything to have the feeling of being wanted and loved. This aspect is especially true for girls who are unsure of themselves. This aspect has further been elevated through adoption of selfie cultures in which case girls seek affirmation of themselves (Orenstein 34). In this case, to get a digital like is viewed as being accepted.
Therefore, in the quest of obtaining the most likes on social media, girls are willing to do anything to achieve this goal. For instance, as Orenstein indicates, celebrities portray a fake persona in order to connect with their fans. Individuals such as Nicki Minaj, who Orenstein deems to be a sex object is in fact glorified as a ‘self-determining superstar’ by teenage girls (Orenstein 38). Her sexualized image tends to communicate the wrong idea of what sexiness entails. When Orenstein attends a Miley Cyrus concert, she dismisses the young pop star as a ‘lint trap of ideas and images’ (Orenstein 42).
However, things are in fact changing as there is a crop of young women who believe that their portrayal of sexiness is deeper than the face value. These are girls who believe that personality, humor, and intellect are enough to prove to themselves that they are sexy and not rely on superficial and artificial concepts of sex.
This aspect is illustrated in Miley Cyrus’s MTV fiasco in which case she got slut-shamed for her romping performance with Robin Thicke. In addition, when Kim Kardashian posted a nude selfie on the internet, the post elicited mixed views. The good news about this is that in spite of some young girls who still recognized her selfie as an ‘expression of sexuality’ a similar sentiment by Kim Kardashian herself, some girls did not agree with her point of view.
Therefore, the stark portrayal of the female culture as being compromised and condescending, is in fact taking a life of its own, with young women who are not afraid to express their opinions and remain unaffected by the herd mentality.
May 27, 2016: ‘Girl & Sex: Navigating the complicated new landscape’
The book clearly portrays the impact of the media on choices made by the youth. In this respect, the changing sexual landscape has been attributed to cultural changes such as adopted practices such as pornography, hence influenceing the view towards sex.
The influence that the media has on culture and consequently behavior is depicted in pornography. This concept has distorted the meaning of sex and as a result confused young individuals who have sexual encounters. According to Orenstein, watching pornography has become the norm and a general accepted culture. This has changed perceptions and expectations of sexual experiences for both boys and girls. In this case, for boys, the perfect illustration of fit and flexible girls who produce well-crafted moans while having sex have formed perspectives of girls’ performance (Orenstein 49).
On the other hand, girls feel the expectation of the need to perform rather than enjoy the experience. This illustration is also supported by Orenstein who indicates that pornography has changed overtime as a result of competition. In this case, it is portrays sexuality as being aggressive and as a result influences perceptions about sexual values.
Orenstein also expounds on the changing intimacy landscape that is currently keen on emphasizing physical intimacy as opposed to emotional intimacy. In this case, the girls Orenstein interviews are of the opinion that hookups are preferable than compared to situations that would be emotionally engaging for them.
According to Orenstein, although hookups are not ideal, they are better than ‘catching feelings for guys’. This instance, according to her interviewees, would make them vulnerable. The level of misunderstanding of love and sex is shocking. The reason for establishment of relationships is premised on the need to be vulnerable with each other, getting into a comfortable state that both partners are not afraid of having feelings for each other, and are willing to develop emotional, and not just physical connections. Although this concept may appear romanticized, it is in actual fact, the truth.
In the end, Orenstein is of the suggestion that in order to correct the fleeing situation, there is need for parents to talk openly about sex with their teenagers. She presents an example of the norm in Netherlands in which case parents integrate sex discussions in the course of normal conversations. As such, they provide insightful information to the children who then become in a position to make the right decisions and not feel coerced to conform to expected behavior as advanced by the media as well as their peers.
Work Cited
Orenstein, Peggy. Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape. , 2016. Print.
