The Marriage
Marriage is a social contract that unites two people into the family. The contract establishes the rights and responsibilities between two people. Marriage is an institution that legalizes the sexual and interpersonal relations between people living together as a family. Article “An Amateur Marriage” written by Steve Tesich describes the personal experience of marriage and viewpoint of the writer. The article “The Power of Marriage” written by David Brooks describes the marriage as a traditional concept in the Western world. The paper attempts to compare and contrast the two given articles.
The article “An Amateur Marriage” by Steve Tesich represents the candid view of the writer about the marriage. Steve Tesich highlights that he did not feel any change when he became an adult at the age of 18 and no age-milestone seems to have worked for the writer. Before marriage, Tesich considered marriage as something big that had huge responsibilities and obligations attached to it. However, his marriage came as an escape from the hot weather of Denver and spending some time in the cool environment of the city hall. Tesich even did not buy a ring for his wife, and it still worked. Nothing changed even after marriage. Tesich was told about a lot of work attached with the marriage; however, he did not find any work attached with the marriage. They both lived the way they wanted (Tesich, 1). The liberal viewpoint presented by the writer may be acceptable to the people with liberal mind; however, it does not fit in the traditional thought process. Personally, I do not agree to the writer’s concept of marriage.
On the other hand, article “The Power of Marriage” is a formal viewpoint on the concept of marriage by David Brooks. The writer terms marriage as a sacred bond that demands an exclusive commitment between the couple and turns them into kin. Marriage makes people better than what they were previous. Writer describes that with the passage of time, married people start to affect each other’s lives in a positive manner and deepen their effects on each other’s personalities. People who remain committed to one partner enjoy the comfort of their partner, love each other and live more organized life (Brooks, 1). Brooks viewpoint is rather traditional and coincides with the prevalent societal norms. His stance on gay marriage is in accordance with the normal understanding of the human interaction. Personally, I tend to agree with Brooks.
Steve Tesich talks about his experience of marriage that he did not feel the beginning of the marriage in his life. He concept of loving his wife, but not for the entire life does not appeal much to the people with orthodox approach towards life. After the marriage, the writer did not feel any change in him and his wife. He still possessed the kids of all ages inside him and same was the case with his wife. Tesich denounces the concept of working hard for the marriage because there is no existing standard structure for the marriage to build on it. As per writer’s understanding, there are no people who had achieved the zenith of the marriage after working hard throughout their married life. Marriages sometimes sustain and sometimes break apart with all the hard work done by the people. People do not get any better with the harder tries (Tesich, 2). I tend to agree with the writer’s viewpoint about no zenith achieved by the people who have tried hard to maintain their marriages.
Brooks point about the sacred bond of marriage being in crisis today as more than 50% of marriages end in divorce is rather genuine. The crisis is because marriage that was the culture of fidelity has now been replaced with the culture of contingency. Individual freedom takes the highest priority in today’s married life. In order to maintain a marriage, choices have to be curtailed in accordance with the desires of the partner, and certain compromises are essential in the life. Brooks offers that there is a chance for the people to shift their stance back from contingency to marital fidelity. The only exception shall be the gays who despite loving each other cannot introduce each other as husband and wife but as partners (Brooks, 2). Brooks viewpoint is agreed as marriages sustain only through compromises in all the societies of the world. More liberty and choice of freedom ends up in destruction of relationship of marriage.
Tesich compares the concept of continuously working on the marriage in order to improve it with the working on old equipment to update and maintain it. His stance on continuous working and maintaining the relationship is supported. The writer talks about the unplanned things that proved even enjoyable to him rather than those deliberately planned and executed. Marriage is not the Mount Everest that one has to conquer and plan things in detail. There is no maximum point in a marriage that one has to achieve and work for in his married life. After 13 years of married life, writer does not feel any change except the weather. He terms marriage as a place that he visits to warm himself up when the world turns cold on him (Tesich, 2). Tesich viewpoint about feeling no change after 13 years of marriage is surprising as after a decade of marriage, one of the two partners tend to adapt to other’s way of thinking and working.
Brooks remains conservative about the marriage in the society of the United States. His concept of traditional marriage and social bondage is being violated by the quick opting out of a couple from the marriage. He strongly suggests the banning of gay marriages as they are a major source of weakening the institution of marriage. He advocates that the marriage is between a man and women, and it is the women that domesticates men and makes marriage a success. Gays may be allowed to make commitments to each other but not in the form of a marriage. Gays may be given all the health and employee benefits less the marriage (Brooks, 3). I tend to agree with the writer’s viewpoint on the issue of gays.
The two articles are contrasted to each other. Steve Tesich’s article projects a liberal view about the marriage. Tesich talks about the marriage in liberal terms and considers it unimportant to change and work for maintaining the marriages. He does not feel to be restricted somehow through the bond of marriage. David Brooks has the conservative and traditional approach to the marriages and talks about the societal norms and requirements to be followed in case of marriage between men and women. In totality, I tend to support Brooks concept of marriage. Brooks’ article is more of a formal presentation on the subject as compared to Tesich’s article.
Work Cited
David Brooks. The Power of Marriage. 2003. Web. 22 October. 2014.
Steve Tesich. The Amateur Marriage. 1984. Web. 22 October. 2014.
