It seems to be a common belief, that “Marriage is the foundation of a good family; good families in turn are the foundation of a stable civilization”. (Bahai’s Publishing 12) However, lately, marriage does not seem to be such a sacred institution, it was decades ago; people get divorced so often, that the question of “Why even bother getting married” becomes very actual these days. Of course, many will probably disagree, but I sincerely believe, that marriage is just an institution, which is “manifestly in a mess” (Bedell)
At this point I would like to raise some objections that have been inspired by the
skeptic in me. Nowadays marriage is still popular among people, but the core reason of such popularity is very different than it was even 10 years ago. Couples get married to show their friends and families that they are doing great, and that their lives are going well. Those couples, who get married at early age, are subjects of envy among their school and college friends, as they become more independent from parents; however, any of them thinks about the dependence on each other. Marriage can also be considered as just a symbol of a status, reason to be respected at work, in society.
Very slowly our modern society obviates the prejudices against unmarried couples and bachelors, but we are still not at the point when being unmarried is a norm, not a reason for “collective wonder”.
Do you love each other? Get married. Had sex? Get married. Pregnant? Get married.
These axioms always puzzled me. To be honest, I do not understand why people get married. Marriage, in my opinion, is just as just old-fashioned, as forbidding women to wear trousers, and so meaningless as to demand a wife to cook, iron and mop the floor.
Let’s just imagine how pathetic the married couple looks. There is be no more stags for a happy husband, the entrance to strip clubs is always boarded up for him, other women cease to exist. He is at home by 8 pm, and moreover, he is allowed to drink only on holidays, as on weekends he washes dishes. And a happy wife sets a photo of her in a wedding dress as profile picture on Facebook, and posts a status " I wish you all the same happiness." Boredom. To my mind, marriage should not change anything between two loving people. However, why did they even go to the registry office? For some reason, marriage is associated with the word “obligation”, but it should not be that way. I truly believe, that if two people are in love, they will take care of each other without a stamp in their passports.
If one takes a look at the diagram, posted by Pew Research Center, showing reasons why Americans get married, one can make scores of prediction about trends for the next couple of years. On the fist place Americans put “Love”, which, according to them, is the main reason to get married. To me, it sounds quite ridiculous, as two people can love each other to death, but remain unmarried. The second place goes to “making a lifelong commitment” reason. Why would people want to make vows to each other, when the divorce rate is so high, and the chance of that particular marriage to last is tremendously miserable? That goes beyond my understanding, to be sincere.
The next important for Americans reasons to get married, are: companionship, having children, and financial stability. The last reason, frankly speaking, is the most understandable. Being married, one always shares the financial responsibility with a spouse, what makes life a little easier, and enjoyable. Everyone seeks confidence in the future, and marriage is quite a good way to acquire it. (see figure 1)
These days there is a big polemics whether marital status makes life easier or not. Some argue that it does, some — that is does not, and make life even harder. But the most important is the fact, that in the ease of having a stable sex life, being financially secure, and having better career opportunities or a social status there are no differences between married or single.
Works Cited
"Carrying Forward an Ever-advancing Civilaation." Marriage: A Fortress for Well-being. Wilmette, IL: Baha'i Pub., 2009. 12. Print.
Debell, Geraldine. "Marriage: Why Do We Still Bother?" The Independent. Independent Digital News and Media, 18 Aug. 1996. Web. 28 Feb. 2014.
figure 1
Source: Cohn, D'vera. "Love and Marriage." Pew Research Centers Social Demographic Trends Project RSS. Pew Research Center, 13 Feb. 2013. Web. 27 Feb. 2014.
