Interpersonal Conflict
Only a year ago I had a falling out with my best friend, a man I’d known for well over ten years of my life. When we first met he was single, without children, and a borderline alcoholic. He had a steady job, a stable home, but no one else in his life save for friends who were either drunks or habitual drug users. We met by happenstance since we lived in the same apartment building, and he had seen me coming and going more than once. When he invited me to his apartment for a drink with friends I had no idea what I was getting into, but after a few drinks, it seems like a decade just flew by.
I have been at my friend’s side for several instances during which he needed a helping hand and even just a friendly face. Through his one failed marriage and the custody battle over his only son I was there, supporting him and staying the course when the rest of his friends deserted him. Over the course of our friendship we became close, and on more than one occasion he professed that I was like a part of his family. At that point I felt as though I had really made a difference in someone’s life.
unkind to begin with, but she was very demanding. I did my best to get along with her, and for
the most part succeeded. It was fun, it was entertaining, and more often than not I left their home
laughing and in good spirits after a night of frivolity. But this changed only a short time ago
when she began to demand that he needed to stand up to his ex-wife more to gain more custody
over his son. She professed to me that she wanted to see the “fire” that I had always spoken about when first meeting him. What I told her was that she was not asking for fire, she was asking for a train wreck. That was when I found out how duplicitous she could be.
My friend confronted me shortly after she and I spoke, demanding to know why I believed that he did not deserve to see his son. She had told him that I had said he did not want to see his son bad enough, that he was not willing to do what it took, and therefore did not deserve him. How she managed to sell this lie to my friend I will never know, but the trust that we had enjoyed up until then shattered immediately. There was no question, no second thoughts before he refused to speak to me again. I had no chance to even offer the truth.
The resolution to this sad tale might have had a happier ending if he would have been so inclined to speak to me again. But the truth is that she had already wound him up so much that he would never return my calls, would not answer my texts, and, in her words, had come to think that I was utterly worthless. Sadly he is still with her as far as I know. I had already known that she was less than trustworthy during our time spent together, but I had kept my mouth shut for the sake of my friend and his happiness. He trusted her, and so I went along with it, never once speaking out against her. I gave my advice when it was asked for, I stayed the loyal friend, and eventually I was burned because my words contradicted whatever ideal she had set in her mind.
