My friend and I are very close to each other. We are open to each other’s problems and little secrets. She would always help me whenever I need her, and I would do the same for her. Because we are very close friends, we have similar personality types – I think this is the reason why we get along with each other well. We have similar dominant personality traits; according to the results of the personality test, we are both dominantly white. My friend’s score for white is 18 points while my score is 14 points. We also have equal scores for colors blue and yellow, which are 10 and 9, respectively. My score for color red is 12 while her score is 7. These score indicate that my personality is White-Red, while her personality is White-Blue.
Because I scored high on both red and white, my personality is also a combination of these two colors. That is, I love spending my time on productive activities, and I always make sure that I do them in the best way that I can. I am also considerate, kind, and independent. I hate control, so I do not want to be with authoritative people – I like doing things in my own way. I am stubborn and silent. I can easily blow up when I reach my saturation point; that is why, I do not like being pushed to the line. Why friend, on the other hand, has both blue and white personalities. She is kind, and likes to listen to what the other people have to say – she is a great listener. She also likes to go on adventures just like I, so we go on trips and do activities together, like sky diving. What I really like among her personalities is her selflessness – she is always willing to sacrifice a part of her time to be with me whenever I need her.
Because we have different distribution of score for the four colors, we have similarities and differences in personalities. My friend and I are easygoing and outgoing. We also have similar values. Nevertheless, she is less outspoken than I, and she is not as willing as I in taking leadership roles.
Our friendship, just like any other type of relationships, has its ups and downs. We sometimes have our disagreements, conflicts, or miscommunications; but, we both try hard to solve them. These things arise from her lack of sensitivity; especially, during some social occasions. She could get tactless – saying things that could hurt me or some of the people around her. Conflicts can also arise from me. Sometimes, I am very critical or decisive. Because of my decisiveness, she thinks I am very demanding resulting into conflict. When our conflict arises, we usually stop talking and remain silent for hours – even days – until we forget about our conflict and resume becoming great friends again.
Nevertheless, after taking the personality test, I now know how to handle such conflicts, disagreements, or miscommunications more effectively. For example, there was a time when we are dining in a restaurant with some acquaintances. While we are eating, she made some unpleasant remarks to one of them. Prior to that, we made an agreement that she should not make those remarks. I tried to give her a hint that she must not say those things while we are dining, but instead of acknowledging my efforts to remind her, she got upset with me. Because of that event, we did not talk for days. But now I realize that I can do better. If such even happen again, I will talk to her nicely about my concern.
Avoiding and solving conflict requires efficient communication. The differences in people’s personalities affect communication positively as well as negatively. According to the Transactional Model of communication, there are several factors that affect the efficiency of the communication process: time, shared experiences, differences in experiences, and noise. Each circle in the model symbolizes the experience of each communicator. The overlap between the two circles symbolizes the common experiences of the communicators. The greater the overlap, the higher the efficiency of the communication process, and vice versa .
I think our personalities are parts of our respective circles. The extent of overlap between our two circles depends in the differences between our personalities. Note that our personalities may vary on different times; hence, it is important that I am aware of the dominant personality that I and my friend have each time we communicate. For example, in the event that I discussed above, I should wait after we eat at the restaurant before talking to her. Remember that both of us have white personalities. This means that we hate being controlled. My immediate response to give her a hint may be interpreted by her during such times as a way of controlling her. Remember also that she has blue personalities. This means that she will eventually feel unhappy after doing something wrong or acting unpleasantly, so I have to wait for this moment before I talk to her. There are also times when my dominant personality shifts from white to red, so I should be aware of this shift to avoid being stubborn and aggressive. Note that differences in personalities may affect communication positively or negatively. When two personalities are different but they are complementary, then communication process becomes efficient. If the personalities are different and are contradicting, then the communication process becomes inefficient.
Work Cited:
lms.oum.edu. Models of Communication. n.d. Web. 13 June 2014. <http://lms.oum.edu.my/e-content/OUMH1303KDP/content/24094922OUMH1303_OralCommunication_v1/OUMH1303_Topic1/OUMH1303_1_2.html>.
