Psychologists have varying ideas about praise and motivation. Generally, praise is important to level down a child’s self-esteem, and can be a positive motivating factor. Praise can also be an expression of approval, but psychologist Carol Dweck asserts that it should be specific and not general (Bronson 3). On the contrary, psychologist Wulf-Uwe Meyer, who conducted studies on 12-year-olds, found that the children did not believe that the praise they received made them feel they did well, but that they had to do more and needed further encouragement – it was a sign they had to strive even more. Scientist Willingham (qtd. in Bronson 3) argues that praising a child can send a wrong signal, but criticizing a child can be a motivating factor to do better. This tells us that we have to be careful in our praises.
McKay gives advice for parents, “Be generous with your praise. Find as many opportunities to sincerely praise your children as you can.” Some psychologists state that it is necessary to be timely in praising children. If you praise your child for a good mark or an act in time, he will at once notice that it is needed to do once again, but if you make it a bit longer, or still later it might not bring the necessary benefit. Psychologists also tell parents and teachers to always tell the truth. Overpraising children will let them feel you are telling lies and that the praise was just forcing them to do extra effort.
While there have been negative criticisms about praise, some positive points can be attributed to it, according to studies. It boosts self-efficacy, enhances feelings of competence and autonomy, creates positive feelings, encourages effort attributions, provides motivating information about normative excellence, helps children regulate task engagement, and so forth.
Parents want to praise their children to express their support and unconditional love. But this should not let their children feel pressured, forcing them to do impossible tasks. Human brain can actually be motivated to do tasks or solve problems, but this should not put the subject into a pressure point. Bronson states that by not telling her son that he was smart was a way of motivating him to conclude about his intelligence. By jumping into conclusion that he was intelligent was to deprive him of the chance to know himself.
Work Cited
Bronson, Po. How not to Talk to Your Kids. Web. 29 Jan. 2017. <http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/>.
