Introduction
Love takes many forms. It may be the love of a parent to a child, sibling love, friend love, love between two people, and more. Regardless of the type of love people share with and among each other, there are three basic components that make up love – commitment, intimacy, and passion. A love that is only about commitment, intimacy, or passion is bound to fail at the beginning, thus, people always strive to have at least two of the love components to have a happy and fulfilling, if not perfect, kind of love.
The Components of the Triangle of Love
Not to be confused with love triangle (which is about three people in a relationship), the triangle of love comprises of commitment, intimacy, and passion, which are the components that make up the vertices of the triangle of love. According to Robert Sternberg (1997), commitment is "in the short-term the decision that one loves a certain other, and in the long-term, to one's commitment to maintain that love" (p. 315). It also connotes loyalty, long-term relationships, and desire to be with the other person. It may also be that an individual is in a relationship with another person out of commitment without necessarily loving the other person. He further says that intimacy "refers to feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in loving relationships that give rise to the experience of warmth in a loving relationship" (p. 15). It involves feelings of empathy, emotional sharing, and support. On passion, Sternberg has this to say, "Passion refers to the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and related phenomena in loving relationships" (p.15). It relates to feelings of euphoria and physiological arousal. Although these components can individually stand on their own, they interrelate with each other to come up with the ideal kind of love, the consummate love or complete love (Madey & Rodgers, 2009, p. 76).
Combinations of Love
According to a study of Sternberg's theories, there are various combinations of love based on the Triangle of Love.
Source: Triangular Theory of Love (www.hofstra.edu)
A relationship based on passion and intimacy results to Romantic Love, the kind that is bounded emotions and passionate arousal. Companionate Love is the kind of love commonly shared by married couples where the relationship is less on the physical side, but more on companionship and friendship. This asexual love is the same kind of love shared by friends. Fatuous Love is based on passion and commitment, but "without the stabilizing influence of intimacy" (Triangular Theory of Love, n.d.). Of the various types of love, the strongest and ideal is Consummate Love that most everybody strives to achieve. It is the perfect love that couples share. However, as Sternberg argues, it is more difficult to maintain this kind of love than realize and attain it. Couples in this kind of relationship must always attempt to keep the love and passion burning and express their desires and feelings towards their partner. Otherwise, even if couples continue to love and commit themselves to their partner and let the passion die down, the relationship ends up being Companionate Love.
Modern Application of the Theories
The Triangle of Love is still very much applicable to these modern times. Regardless of the kinds of relationship people have with others, the model is still a good basis for understanding the various aspects of love. Whether it is a relationship between young couples, older people, or between and among family members, one can easily identify the kind of love one shares with another. Even if younger people mistake Romantic Love for love that involves commitment, maturity and knowledge about the types of love will eventually tell them the kind of love they have with their partners.
References
Madey, S., & Rodgers, L., (2009). The effect of attachment and Sternberg's triangular theory of love on relationship satisfaction. Individual Differences Research. Retrieved from http://sccn612final.wikispaces.com/file/view/The+effect+of+attachment+and+sternberg%27s+triangular+theory+of+love+on+relationship+satisfaction.pdf
Sternberg, R., (1997). Construct validation of a triangular love scale. European Journal of Social Psychology, Vol. 27, 313-335. Retrieved from http://web.comhem.se/u68426711/8/sternberg97.pdf
Triangular theory of love (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.hofstra.edu/pdf/community/slzctr/stdcsl/stdcsl_triangular.pdf
