This paper is dedicated to an overview of the divorce problem in the UAE and to summarizing existing research on the negative impact of divorce on children.
In the past, divorces in the UAE were quite rare. Recent studies show dramatic growth in divorce rates in Gulf Cooperation Council countries, especially in United Arab Emirates. The figures are impressive. According to the National Centre for Statistics, in 2013 3,901 divorce cases have been proceeding in courts within the UAE. This figure includes marriages involving Emirati spouses. The government Marriage Fund experts stated in their study that divorces accounted for almost 22% of the total marriages involving Emirati spouses in 2011. Divorce rates in expat and mixed couples are higher than in local marriages.
In Dubai alone divorce rate for Emirati couples increased by one third between 2010 and 2012 (Dubai Statistics Center, 2012). With such high divorce rate, which continues to grow, the UAE takes the first place in the Gulf region. Experts name various reasons of divorce: lack of love and poor communication between partners, polygamy, interference by relatives, violence of husbands, lack of trust, extramarital relationships, economic and financial reasons, social factors (for example, unrealistic expectations, selfishness), etc.
In terms of affecting children, divorce, according to David H. Demo and Andrew J. Supple, should be considered as a process, not as an event. Conflict between parents and further divorce has a dramatic negative impact on children’s emotional and mental development, cognitive abilities, the socialization process and even health conditions. Let’s review the major consequences of parents’ divorce on children.
Emotional development and behavior. Distressing conflicts and emotional separations precede marital breakdown. Observing their parents in conflict, children may become anxious, hyperactive, stubborn, defiant and even aggressive. Another possible reaction to this traumatic experience can be frustration, sadness, emotional distance, the feeling of helplessness and even guilt. Sometimes the divorce leads to severe behavioral disorders and depression. Studies carried out by Dr. Saleh Ibrahim Al Sanie, showed that family disintegration and accompanying psychological trauma, along with the lack of affection and well-being, make young people “more prone to delinquency, deviance, and addiction to alcohol and drugs” (Silsilat Kitab al Oummah et al., 2001).
Health conditions. Divorce and consequent psychological problems are the key drivers of psychosomatic diseases in children. Sleep disturbances, lack of appetite, gastroenterological issues, allergy, exacerbation of existing chronic diseases – all this makes children look exhausted and unhealthy and has a sufficient negative impact on their development, socializing and study.
Mental development. Dealing with the pre-divorce and divorce issues takes almost all attention of the children. Children are observing how their mother and father conflict, solve legal and financial challenges, redefine their roles as parents. Distress, frustration and consequent psychosomatic issues decrease interest to learning, cognitive abilities. The children, whose pattern of life is being destroyed, give a lower priority to process of studying, their performance fall. As compensation for distress, some young people can find a hobby (sports, music, drawing etc.) to distract themselves, but often this activity doesn’t lower the tension and makes a child even more withdrawn and exhausted.
Social development. Children are often confused because they receive contradictory messages from their divorcing parents (AlMunajjed, M.). Divorce disrupts their family pattern; this experience can impact the children’s personal and family life in the future (they can be fearing a marriage). Because of these life-altering issues affecting self-esteem, the child faces difficulties with peers and feels inferior comparing himself or herself with other children from intact families. It breaks existing social connections and adds to the general distressing impact of parental divorce.
As researches display, consequences and level of adjustment to new life circumstance vary a lot. For example, children who suffered from a long and intense conflict between parents can benefit from divorce in a certain sense. But these children are still exposed to all the described above negative consequences of being in the midst of conflict.
The best solution, helping to prevent children’s trauma caused by divorce is to resolve family problems and to prevent a divorce. There are many institutions and initiatives, assisting families and reconciling couples, for example, the Family Guidance Division, the Marriage Fund, Dubai Women Association. Except for support from the part of policymakers, psychology and mental health professionals can help divorced couples and their children cope with the psychological and emotional pain of seeing their families destroyed (AlMunajjed, M.). The educational professionals, teachers and psychologists, can notice negative signs and can assist the children in adapting to new circumstances better, in strengthening social connections and in re-prioritizing personal goals. The relatives can help the children build close, trusting and supportive relations and family environment with single parents.
All these and many other measures are aimed at “de-stigmatization of divorce” (Demo, D. H., Supple A. J. at al.) and at creating more comfortable and supportive environment for children from post divorce families.
As described in multiple studies, family breakdown and divorce have an extremely negative impact on children of all ages, affecting their psychological state, emotional and mental development.
References
- AlMunajjed, M. Divorce in Gulf Cooperation Council Countries Risks and Implications. Retrieved from http://www.strategyand.pwc.com/media/uploads/Divorce_in_Gulf_Cooperation_Council_Countries.pdf
- Dubai Statistics Center. Government of Dubai. Marriage Contracts and Divorce Certificates by Nationality - Emirate of Dubai. Retrieved from http://dsc.gov.ae/Reports/DSC_SYB_2012_01%20_%2014.pdf
- Demo, D., Supple, Andrew J. and others. Divorce - Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents. Retrieved from http://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html
- Silsilat Kitab al Oummah and others (2001). Family Disintegration: Reasons and Solutions. International Number: 99921-48-19-5; pp. 1, 2, 4
- Demo, D. H., Supple A. J. and others. Divorce - Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents - Gender, Poverty, Stereotypes, Theory, Family, and History - JRank Articles. Retrieved from http://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html#ixzz32pHcLyoO
- Stowe M. (2013). Is the UAE a melting pot for expats’ marriages? Retrieving from http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2013/09/05/is-the-uae-a-melting-pot-for-expats-marriages/
- Zacharias A. (2014). More Emirati couples divorce before their wedding day. Retrieved from: http://www.thenational.ae/uae/courts/more-emirati-couples-divorce-before-their-wedding-day#page1
