One of the most discussed and controversial questions of the past thirty years is the question of the gay marriages. Although it has attracted a lot of attention of the scientific community, that has studied the problem seriously, researchers still cannot reach an agreement on the issue whether or not same-sex marriages should be legalized. Even the more difficult situation is with homosexual parenting: many psychologists consider that raising the child in homosexual family would harm his mental health. Though, another percentage of scientists prove that there is no difference between raising the children in the traditional and nontraditional families. The findings have merit since a great number of studies demonstrate that the type of the family does not influence on child’s development, but the level of family’s well-being and relationships among it do. However, currently more than half of the US’ states forbid same-sex marriages. In the same, time the number of the homosexual couples does not decrease, and each of them wants to have a baby in order to create a complete family. Undoubtedly, for child it is essential growing up in a complete family, but it is impossible as long as the government does not recognize the homosexual marriages. Thereby the legalization of gay marriages is necessary, first of all, for the security and well-being of the children the gay couples are caring for.
The homosexual parents do not discourage the child’s development. The issue of legalization of the same-sex marriages bothers not only the scientists, but the whole American society, which consider the gay marriages as the wrong model of the family. According to the psychologists, such an untraditional model can harm the child, who is raised by same-sex parents: “Children do best, when raised by biological father and mother on a life-long marriage” (Family Research Council), and that the two-parent (mother-father) family is an ideal family for children (Tidewater Community College). It is one of the fundamental statements against same-sex marriages and raising a child by the gay couples, which discussed a lot and finally was disproved by American Psychological Association:
“There is no reason to assert that same-sex partners are unfit to be parents or that psychological development among the children of homosexuals is compromised Moreover, the date says that the lesbian and gay parents’ home environment are as likely as those provided by straight partners to support and enable children’s psychological growth”.
The essential disadvantage of the against-gay-marriages-research is that it takes only the ideal families for the studies – the complete families with parents, who can raise their children in enabling environment. The traditional family model “Mother and Father” is valid for those cases, when the parent (or parents):
- is not alcoholic, drug-addicted or in prison;
- is not the neglectful or abusive to his child;
- who does not live in poverty or poor conditions, etc.
Although many of these parents are unable to provide the baby with proper care, the government never forbids them to have the children on the official level, because it is normal for one man and one woman to have the child. But while speaking about same-sex couples raising a child, the stereotypical thinking starts to work: it is uncommon, thereby it must be forbidden. That is why the society should realize that not all the couples with traditional sexual orientation can be good parents and that gay couples can be much better parents. The statistic says that more than 51 percent of pregnancies are unplanned (Guttmacher Institute). It means that some percent of couples, who do not want the child, would choose the abortion, some percent would send their children to the foster care. Other couples would have rather difficult time raising the children, because they were not ready for having the baby. On the other hand, for homosexual couples it is impossible to have an unplanned pregnancy. For them the decision to have a child (through adoption or a surrogate parent) is always well-thought and a child is long-awaited. Thereby, the legalization of the homosexual marriages will give the possibility for adopted child to rise in loving and caring family.
The problem of social acceptance. The statements that nontraditional family model can harm child’s mental health and cause psychological disorders are erroneous, but there is an external factor that can disadvantage children, it is called “social acceptance”. The relationships between the child, who is raised by same-sex parents, and his peers and adults may be strained, because of the stigma of the homosexual parenthood. Starting with the bullying on the playground and finishing with an awkward situation at classes when similar topics discussed, all negative and prejudiced attitudes can be harmful to child’s mental health. For child it is important to know whether his family accepted or the outsider within the society: “Imagine being a child in the family of two parents in a state where, legally, there is permitted only one parent to be a parent. When it happens, the society does not perceive the family as real or authentic. That would be the disadvantage” (Brian Powell). The legalizing of the gay marriages is essential since society needs to accustom itself to the same-sex marriages existence. People should think progressively because the phenomenon of gay relationships is an irreversible process, and nobody can ever forbid men love men and women love women. Conversely, society has to help sexual minority and their children to feel themselves comfortable and securely. And statistic says that in last ten years the attitude of the people to the legal gay marriages become more positive. In 2013, 66% of the respondents consider that gay marriages should be legal, while only 30% are against the same-sex unions, compared to 2003, when the percentage of the supporters and opponents was equal (Gallup Historical Trends). The legalizing of the gay marriages will help people to get rid of the stereotypes, to think open-minded and to educate the next generation without gender prejudices. A 33-year-old man, whose mother is a lesbian, says: “I feel I’m more open, well-rounded person for having been raised in a nontraditional family My mom opened me up to the positive effect of the people’s otherness”.
Juridical point of view. The positive aspect of legalizing the homosexual marriages also needs to be considered in terms of material well-being and prosperity of same-sex family and decent cash security of the child in such a family. Today the same-sex marriage is legalized by the majority of states (29 states and District of Columbia) and the federal government. However, federal government did not pass the law about recognizing the homosexual marriage as legal on the national level, but provided the opportunity for each state to decide on the local level whether or not the gay marriage is legal. Speaking about adoption of the child by the gay couple, the child is not permitted in most of the United States to be adopted by his second parent; thereby the child become more vulnerable than child of the married parents. “Civil marriage provides a legal structure of the creation of the relationships; it socially claims a relationship, determining its legal rights, benefits and responsibilities” says the American Psychoanalytic Association. Now it is the question of the functioning of the homosexual families within the state and receiving the same benefits as the traditional marriages. “Government sanctioned discrimination against same-sex marriages denies them the 1.049 rights, benefits, and protections that civil marriage confers in areas of health care, property, inheritance, money, and insurance” (American Psychoanalytic Association). The Reuters informs that, according to the studies, “children of gay family more likely to be poor”, since “a lack of federal official approval of homosexual marriages means such families face higher tax and unequal access to health insurance and government safety programs”. Thus, the legalization of the gay marriages is very important in terms of prosperity and welfare of such families.
Where the babies of same-sex couples come from. Tidewater Community College states that same-sex parents are not the best family for a child. While the society may sympathize with those lesbian women and gay men who want to marry and have children, we should not allow the compassion for them to exceed the compassion for children. In a competition between the wishes of the gay couples and the needs of the children, the children must win, the Community College studies say. Apparently, these researchers do not take into account those children, who really need parents and a real home, but forced to live in orphanages and foster cares.
According to the William Institute and Urban Institute report, 65 000 children live with same-sex parents. The most common way for gay couples to have a child is an adoption; 41% of same-sex couples want to adopt a baby. The report prepared by Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute shows that homosexual couples tend to adopt children at the age of six and more (compared to heterosexual couples, who prefer infants). They also are interested in adoption of the children of any race or those with special needs. Furthermore, the homosexual partners more often adopt difficult children or those who suffer from HIV or AIDS. According to the research, there are more than four millions of homosexual couples in the United States; half of them are ready to adopt a child. And there are 114 000 children, who are wait to be adopted and leave the foster care. These children need to have a family; to live with parents, and it is no matter for them whether the parents are heterosexual or homosexual. Thereby, the legalization of the gay marriages is necessary for providing the couples the chance to have an adopted baby, since same-sex partners become the powerful resource for the children who are free for adoption.
The researchers have been studying the questions about same-sex marriages and the influence of homosexual parenthood on the child during the last thirty years, and the debates around these themes continue till now. A great amount of the people still does not understand the necessity and the importance of the legal homosexual marriage. Though, recent years have seen the progress in people’s thinking: the surveys show that a part of the society agrees that legalizing the homosexual marriages is necessary in the modern world. People start to understand that gay partners are not only in need of the formalization of their union of love, but also an official marriage is significant for the children, which the homosexual parents are raising. The legalization of the same-sex marriages will have a positive impact on the financial condition of the gay family; it will provide the homosexual spouses with the same rights, benefits and advantages as the heterosexual couples have. As soon as the inequality based on sexual orientation of the parents disappears, the level of social acceptance will increase. Since the external factor influences the child’s mental health a lot, and he needs to know that his family is not an outsider, it is very important that the society accept the legal homosexual relationships. When all of the US states legalize the gay marriages, then every homosexual couple will be able to have a child. In turns, it means that a great number of the children from the foster care will find their homes. And they will develop as open-minded people, who will deny the gender stereotypes and the discrimination based on sexual orientation.
Works cited
American Psychoanalytic Association. Position Paper on Gay Marriage. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
American Psychological Association. Lesbian & Gay Parents and Their Children: Summary of Research Findings. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
Bachai, Sabrina. Study Finds Same Sex Couples Make Better Parents: Is It Because They're More Prepared? Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
Gallup: Gay and Lesbian Rights. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
Keiper, Lauren. “Children of Gay Families More Likely to Be Poor: Study.”Reuters. Reuters, 25 October 2011. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
Lifelong Adoptions. LGBT Adoption statistics. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
Pappas, Stephanie. Why Gay Parents May Be the Best Parents. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
Sprigg, Peter. New Study On Homosexual Parents Tops All Previous Research. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
Tidewater Community College. Same-Sex Marriage Is Harmful to Children. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
