Free Responses Essay Sample

1 – I, Bartleby
One of the most compelling elements of this paper is the sheer level of detail and writing style placed in the work itself – the work reads very well as a first-person short story, which is a good indicator of the strength of the work as a work of fiction itself. Bartleby’s state of mind is, almost by necessity, demonstrated by Bartleby himself having a uniquely clear knowledge and awareness of his own psychological conditions. The use of the Mitchell paper as an in-universe paper is quite interesting, as it indicates that Bartleby has been treated for melancholias before, which may not match Bartleby’s seeming ease with his own actions. At the same time, the Bartleby of this paper treats this issue with sufficient malaise to make it believable. I think I would add a bit more detail of Bartleby’s time in the events of the story, rather than spend more time before the story’s events, to improve the paper. While three sources are cited, they are not done in correct MLA style (authors name first), and do not seem to be directly cited, though that can be hard in a fiction work. (I do not see the Mitchell text in the Works Cited.) The first sentence itself is great, and cements the concept of the paper very quickly, but the work seems unfinished – simply ending right as he chooses to start ‘preferring not to’ do work for his boss. I would say that the paper has a great start as a fiction work, but needs to incorporate more sources or go further in the Melville story itself.
2 – How Then Am I Mad
The first and best thing I love about the paper is the courtroom conceit, which is well handled and appropriate for the structure of the piece itself. The narrator puts up a great defense of the narrator of “The Tell Tale Heart” with a sensible, chronological take on the events of the evening, contextualizing it through the use of schizophrenia as a framework. I believe the work is extremely believable and true to the original character, particularly due to the cold way the prosecutor defends the narrator. If I were to add anything to the paper, I would almost love to see bits and pieces of the prosecution’s case in greater detail; while they are mentioned by the defendant, I want to know more about what the case is for finding him guilty. Many great sources are cited, including the wonderful Bohanon source, but some are incorrectly cited – you can cite (Poe) for the story itself, for instance, and there is no publication noted on these texts (e.g. Sciencemag). There is a great use of rhetoric and immersive language to keep referring to the audience (jury), to keep their attention, especially in the beginning and end. I think there could be more of ‘button’ placed on the end to make it seem more final.
3 – “How Then Am I Mad” (w/Outline)
So far, the strongest element of the paper is the comprehensiveness and thoroughness of the writer, who puts in a lot of detail within the testimony being given (even down to some very helpful ‘meeting notes’ with the character in the paper). The defending lawyer offers to defend John Brown from Poe’s story as a “human that has a problem,” citing mental illness and the need to place him in care. I would love for the writer to go more specific on the mental illness the character has, and incorporate the ‘meeting notes’ more organically into the argument itself. The writer has used four secondary sources, all cited correctly, and well used. I highly applaud the writer’s use of his secondary material, since even direct quotes are utilized to great effect (though he does not need to use ellipses to show sentences that aren’t whole sentences; the quotes are enough). I believe the writer can use more specific content and points in the introduction and conclusion; right now, it opens with a fairly general statement about admitting you have a problem, which does not seem specific to this case. However, it ends well with a specific recommendation about what the jury should do with Mr. Brown. Finally, I would definitely advise to the writer to proofread for spelling and grammar, as well as break the work up into paragraphs to make it easier to read.
4 – Tell Tale Heeart
I think the paper is overall well-structured, with each paragraph handling a specific idea that comprehensively comes together in a seamless whole. The narrator of “The Tell-Tale Heart” is sufficiently defended by questioning the notion of sanity, and defining the character’s behavior through the lens of insanity rather accurately. I would add a more specific diagnosis of a mental disorder to the paper to make the arguments more detailed and pertinent to the case. The writer has only used two sources, which are more generalized and difficult to closely compare to the story that is meant to be written about. I would look more for specific mental disorders, and perhaps lit criticism about how they are applied to the story itself. The paper itself grabs your attention with the cold, hard facts of the case at the beginning, and a specific call to support the defendant at the end, which I find very compelling. I would just ask the writer to take a look through the paper and check more for spelling and grammar to make it a bit more polished.