Response Letter # 2
Communication is an integral part of human interactions. For any healthy human to human relationship there exists reasonably good communication coupled with the appropriate interpersonal skills. The members must be able to exhibit a high level of communication and ability to socialize. It is possible that some people are naturally introverts and find it irritating when in situations where they cannot help interacting with other people.
However, others fail to understand that they are introvert and think that they dislike them or have developed a negative attitude towards them. Some people are too introverted such that they find themselves saying things that hurt other people in a bid to being extrovert. Such people consider maintaining silence the best option for them. Those introverts that work hard towards improving their communication skills find themselves really thinking too hard and accessing the next words that come out of them. Even then, they look back and think that they made a mistake in a statement they had spoken earlier. However, through concerted efforts the challenge of introversion can be stemmed out from being a stumbling block in communication and interpersonal relations.
There are a number of theories explaining on the concepts of interpersonal communication. Three of these are reviewed and hopefully, they will be helpful.
This is a theory that focuses on the development of a relational nearness. The closeness can grow progressively from superficial to intimacy. However, this is extensively dependent on self-disclosure. This involves sharing personal information intentionally whether low risk or high risk. It also incorporates sharing personal experiences, attitudes, ideas, feelings, past facts, values, life stories, ambitions, goals, future hopes and dreams. Although self-disclosure helps people to come close and achieve a communication breakthrough, one has to be selective on whom they choose to a share their information with. This is inevitable since some discreet information shared with some people may have dangerous outcomes. The trust worthiness of the person in keeping a secret has to be proved beyond any reasonable doubt. Excellent communicators are selective at using self-disclosure. Their choices are inclusive of the awareness of the positive and the negative effects of sharing personal information, and thus they are always judicious in this move. They weigh the effects of disclosing personal information on the welfare of the relationship. The same is because some information may be disclosed, thinking that it would lead to the growth of the relationship but end up tearing it apart.
When used effectively, self-disclosure is helpful in reducing uncertainties in a relationship. When one of the parties discloses information that is rather considered personal and supposed to be confidential, the other party reciprocates by sharing their personal information. The members in that relationship are open to one another reducing stress and uncertainties among them. Sharing personal information at even deeper levels helps create intimacy especially with people who like each other. The same comes with an emotional attachment to the predicaments of the other person. The process of self-disclosure is regarded as a form of social penetration. This is because it involves learning more about those people, getting to know their deeper lives and also allowing other people to learn more about us. The same is observed as penetrating deeper into each other’s lives. However, the process is gradual since the individuals have to peel off a layer after another of their personal information.
Uncertainty Reduction Theory
The start of any relationship is filled with many uncertainties which greatly impair its growth. The Uncertainty Reduction Theory provides that people need to get rid of these uncertainties by gaining knowledge and information on the other person. That way, it is possible to predict the behavior of the other person when they act in a given manner. Since uncertainty reduction is not a spontaneous process, it takes a couple of phases before uncertainties are removed in a relationship.
The first phase involves the demographic information of an individual such as age, sex, social and economic status. Communication, in this phase, is controlled by norms and rules. The next phase builds on these demographic features and the individuals start to share more personal information on a low level. Such information includes personal data, values, beliefs and attitudes. At this stage communicators are less tied by the norms and rules and thus share freely with one another. Lastly, the exit stage, involves future interactive plans. Communicators discuss freely on how they can make the relationship continue to grow. By the time the relationship gets to the exit stage, the individuals have learned so much about each other that they are in a position to predict the next course of reaction when their counterparts behave in a given manner .
Relational Dialectics Theory
This theory provides that the closer individuals get in a relationship, the more the conflicts try to put them apart. Despite the desire to have perfect interpersonal relationships, it is evident that none can endure if the communicators do not spend some time off the relationship and be alone. This creates a serene moment to reflect on the relationship and the connection between them. Loss of an individual’s identity occurs when an individual takes so much time in the relationship without having to set aside a little time for their personal reflection. The theory provides the realities of a relationship since none is perfect. This theory is very resourceful in explaining the dramatic changes that occur in the behavior of human communication. However, all said and done, partners need to express openness and some level of self-disclosure in a relationship. That way, relationship is bound to grow. Additionally, in dealing with the different conflicts that try to separate the individuals in a relationship, the individuals develop closeness and understand each other and the way they can react under certain provocations.
In conclusion, through the employment of good interpersonal skills, relationship is bound to grow. In fact, it is not a question of introverts and extroverts but how best interpersonal skills have been applied. Some of the people considered extroverts are not so per se, but it narrows down to how effective they have been able to apply the interpersonal skills. The introverts can improve their interactive and communication skills on the purpose to work on their interpersonal relations. This involves knowing what the other parties like and dislike so as to avoid irritating them unnecessarily since it would be very detrimental to the relationship. As a matter of fact, everyone needs to work on their interpersonal skills since every aspect of human beings involves communication with other people. Thus communication is central and inseparable in human lives.
Works Cited
The Editor. "Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts:Social Penetration Theory, Self-Disclosure, Uncertainty Reduction Theory, and Relational Dialectics Theory." 9 March 2012. oregonstate.edu. http://oregonstate.edu/instruct/comm321/gwalker/relationships.htm. 7 June 2014.
—. "Uncertainty Reduction Theory." 30 May 2012. oregonstate.edu. http://oregonstate.edu/instruct/theory/ur.html. 7 June 2014.
