In the article “Definition of Man”, Burke (17) asserts that lovers tend to go through the same phases till the end. More than often people fall in love and at times ending up with bitter breakups that are heart breaking. Due to this, my views on love have changed. Some people fight to keep love, others do not realize it while others hide from it. I tend to belief that love is split in three dimensions; lust, attachment, and romance. Burke asserts that two people can fall in love before sleeping together, or even get attached before loving each other and vice versa.
Wilde (43) notes that love brings joy to the lovers. When the people are engraved in sexual joy and gratification, then that is called lust. One feels a strong desire for the other and tries all the best to win them. In the cases of disagreement, dopamine-the neurotransmitter essential for rewarding increase the desire to win the other person. The romantic drive is more powerful than sex drive and is difficult to control. Attachment causes comfort while in company of the other person. It is aroused by the vasopressin and oxytocin hormones produced while the partners are together during or after sex.
Love has healthy benefits especially if one is with the right partner. It reduces stress and depression and lengthens the lives of the people; those or view each other as special tends to live longer. Happy couples have up to 30% lower chances of getting depression while divorced women are 60% more likely to suffer from heart attacks. Such is gender specific (more in young women) for unknown reason (Nietzsche 6). Perhaps it is because women tend to values partnership more than men. Truths are illusions believed by those who forgot that they were illusion (Nietzsche 6); this explains why a partner may lie using valid words. Falling in love deactivates some part of the brain that reduces the cognitive ability of the person leading to delusion. Upon realizations of the delusion, one may be very unhappy about the other partner. Romantic love is not permanent and masks flaws of the partners. Attachment therefore, may be said to exist only when couples tolerate each other for childbearing.
Flussier (65) notes that there is only “unhappy consciousness” as happiness is not conscious. When people fall in love they are unconsciously happy. The mortality rate is high especially in the first week after spousal death with men been affected the most. It shows that men cannot cope with grieve as women and are affected by the stress of losing loved one more than women. Men do not seek help as often as women. Once one is hurt, the people tend to developed more love by taking huge risks. This may lead to passion. Even after marriage, the stress from planning and the changes can be lead to death. Mortality is higher after wedding due to the high stress levels. Even after marriage, attractive people flirt a lot. In fact, marriage succeeds because of the children or lack of better alternatives. Positive statements towards a lover affirm their love and can keep the marriage in place for long. Personal achievement like good job in men increases their testosterone and lowered by interaction with adolescents and relationship. Although marriage has challenges, married people are happier than unmarried ones and hence, love should not be taken for granted. It should be nurtured in the appropriate manner by first choosing the right partner.
Work cited
Burke, Kenneth. Definition of Man. 1965: 1-7.
Burke, Kenneth. Psychology of Thoughts. 1924: 21-29.
Flusser. To Scatter. 1999: 61-66.
Nietzsche. Truth and Falsity in Ultra-Moral Sense. 2001: 2-12.
