The Institutional Affiliation
“The gift of fear” by Carlos Andres Gomez
The gift of fear is a Tedx talk performed by Carlos Andres Gomez, a popular poet, speaker, writer, and actor. As a speaker and performer, Carlos won liking and admiration of masses, including students, young people, and adults. He talks about things that matter to everyone, about problems, or feelings, or states that are familiar to many people. The gift of fear is one of such stories, the story which many people were ashamed or afraid to tell, the story that touches and impresses. At the beginning of the talk, the author catches the attention of the audience by a question. He asks the guests if there is anyone who enjoys being afraid. An interaction makes the discussion more lively and effective. He tells about two types of fear, a good fear, and a bad one. A good fear, according to Gomez, is the one that keeps you alive. The bad fear, in the opposite, is the one that prevents you from living the life fully. Each of us experiences feat in various situations. Usually, it comes and goes away as soon as we are safe and comfortable again. However, there is a type of fear which follows us constantly. It settles in our mind and becomes a part of our everyday life.
Carlos Gomez shares one of the most significant and important stories that have happened to him with the audience. It is related to the kind of fear that he defines as a bad fear and has an inspiring ending. The author accents his attention on men and the way they handle and fight their frights. He argues that starting with the childhood men are being taught to be strong, invulnerable and fearless. It is generally accepted that boys do not cry, don't feel a pain and never complain. Unlike girls, boys can not be too emotional, they are told to be restrained, to stand, and to man up. Being a man means hiding and keeping much of one's own personality under cover, demonstrating only certain qualities of the character.
A desire or a need to be a man in the traditional meaning of the term might be beneficial in many situations. However, in many cases it leads to the point when a person is afraid to be themselves. They try to meet someone else's expectations or doubtful standards so much, they forget to let it go and relax. The speaker describes himself as a very shy and unsure teenager. He admits that as a child he was afraid of many things. He had a fear of hurting himself, feeling a pain, crying, being wrong, being funny, being different. The list kept extending until the day when the circumstances left him no choice but overcome his uncertainty.
It happened on a summer day in a neighborhood where Carlos has never been before. He met a boy who couldn't walk himself and the boy's mother asked Carlos to carry her son upstairs. Considering the fact that the whole neighborhood was watching them and million “ifs” have been passing his mind at the moment, it was a huge challenge for Carlos. It could have been easier if he also wasn't wearing a coat made of fears he tried to hide from other all this time. He tried to keep them inside, to keep them invisible to others, to pretend he doesn't have any. Carlos completely forgot how to free his real feelings and worries. He kept his underneath the coat which constantly grew and heavier. Hard to carry but impossible to take off, the coat of fears was his protection and burden at the same time.
The speaker describes the moment when he carried the boy upstairs in the smallest details. His hands were shaking and his heart was beating like never before. His fears overwhelmed him and he could not stay calm or think about anything but his fail in front of all these people. Nevertheless, Carlos had no choice and he did made it upstairs with another boy on his hands whom he could not disappoint and he did not. In return, he got a chance to take the heavy coat off and he did it, realizing that there is an equal chance of loosing and win, that it is normal to be oneself, to express true personalities without fear of being judged.
