Regardless of their religious beliefs, people tend have their own different ways of how they describe friendship and define true friendship. Some may see as a means of gaining emotional and spiritual support when the going gets tough, others may see certain friendships, if not all, as bad influence. Of course, it would be rather tricky to describe friendship better than how Aristotle did in Book VIII and Book IX of the Nicomachean Ethics. While people may not agree on the accurate nature of friendship, there is also no denying Aristotle’s claim that it is definitely essential and magnificent, who even calls it a “virtue” . Even in the Bible, in John 15:12-15, Jesus says “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you” (King James Bible, John. 15.12-15), and he proceeds to call us his “friends.” While Christianity’s emphasis on the importance of friendship is important, further analysis also reveals that the Bible even informs what it takes to be a good and true friend.
Friendship Involves A Communication
As written in Exodus 33:11, “And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend” (King James Bible, Exodus. 33.11). Many might likely not agree to this aspect of friendship, considering the widespread of social networks. Communicating online with friends is so convenient today that it often takes precedence over face-to-face communication, and while the Internet does tend to foster the development of genuine, lasting friendships, there is a lot that can be missed out when friends do not communicate face-to-face often. Apart from not being able to hear their emotional tone, make eye contact, and watch their facial expressions and physical gestures, online communication is generally missing much more. Modern research even suggests that friends who prefer to communicate online over communicating face-to-face tend to be less empathic towards their friends, and are not able to effectively able to share and understand the feelings of their friends (O’Brien). While it is not wrong to rely on digital communication, it should and would never supersede face-to-face communication in a genuinely true friendship.
Friendship Involves A Commonality
In the King James Bible, Deuteronomy 13:6-8 describes a friend as “as thine own soul” (King James Bible, Deuteronomy 13.6-8). The Bible clearly makes it obvious that commonality is core of close and intimate friendship, and for a friendship to succeed, two people must have something in common, whether it is their belief in and love for God or something else. Even Aristotle has linked friendship and commonality. Aristotle is definitely right that friendships are either based on commonality or that commonality is rudimentary for a friendship to exist and persist. While it is also true that opposites attract, but even they have some things in common, whether it is common identity, interests, and/or values. No wonder, dating websites that help people form relationships, which generally begin with friendship, tend to match them with other individuals based on things they have in common, such as interests. Other thing that true friends have in common is that they genuinely care for each other and are concerned for one another. In fact, commonality can be a common bond of any kind and is not necessarily limited to sharing things in common.
Friendship Involves A Complementing
Songs have been written on how two is better than one and that is what Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 states. Moreover, Proverbs 27:17 also mentions that “a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” (King James Bible, Proverbs 27.17). Indeed, true friends are generally complementary to one another. Perhaps it is more common in women than it is in men, but true friends endeavor to be interdependent on one another. In true friendship, the needs of one friend the needs of one friend provide a chance for the other(s) to care for that friend and help that friend in fulfilling those needs. Genuine friendship is all about comforting, communicating with and sharing with a friend. Genuine friendship is all about comforting, communicating with and sharing with a friend. Along with being commentary to one another, people who truly friends also happen to be selfless, so they do not expect their friend(s) to give back in return and respond to the care and comfort they offer in a similar manner. Genuine friends value achieving togetherness with and exhibiting fondness towards their friends (Weiss and Lowenthal).
Friendship Involves A Compassion
Proverbs 17:17 indicates that “[a] friend loveth at all times” (King James Bible, Proverbs 17:.17). Thus, it would not be wrong to regard genuine friendship as another form of compassion and love. A person who is not compassionate towards his/her friend is very likely not a true friend. A man will often call his friend a “brother from another mother,” and as catchy and hilarious as that may sound, compassion actually fosters the development of a bond as strong as brotherhood and sisterhood. While true friends definitely “loveth” their friends at all times, they are most compassionate when their friends are suffering. Being compassionate is also way true friends prove to each other that they love one another, which makes it the most heartfelt and sincere emotion. Friends who are compassionate towards one another are able to understand each other’s difficulties and pain, and genuinely desire to help their friends when they are struggling. Compassion enables friends to show each other they care in the simplest of ways. Hence, compassion is the most essential and obvious sign of a true friend and true friendship.
It is understandable why offer different descriptions when asked to express their thoughts on friendship. Friendship is complex and is a relationship that is liable to change. Moreover, friendship like any true relationship is a relationship that crosses religious boundaries, among others. However, the Bible is definitely a valuable source of information for any who wants to learn how to be a good and true friend, even if they are not inherently religious. Sure, friendship is not consistent nor does it have a fixed pattern, but the fundamental qualities that distinguish friendship from acquaintanceship remain the same no matter. Thus, communication, commonality, complementing and compassion as stated in the Bible are indeed vital for the existence and persistence of friendship. Much like God wants to be the true friend of His people, He wants his people to have true friends, and much like God promises that “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (King James Bible, Hebrews 13.5), true friends are also expected to do the same. The fact that God encourages friendship is proof enough that it one of the most sacred relationships in its truest form.
Works Cited
Deuteronomy. King James Version. Public Domain, 1987. BibleGateway.com. The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C. Web. 23 Feb. 2012. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+13%3A6-8&version=KJV.
Ecclesiastes. King James Version. Public Domain, 1987. BibleGateway.com. The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C. Web. 23 Feb. 2012. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+4%3A9%2CEcclesiastes+4%3A10&version=KJV.
Exodus. King James Version. Public Domain, 1987. BibleGateway.com. The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C. Web. 23 Feb. 2012. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+33%3A11&version=KJV.
Hebrews. King James Version. Public Domain, 1987. BibleGateway.com. The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C. Web. 23 Feb. 2012. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+13%3A5&version=KJV.
John. King James Version. Public Domain, 1987. BibleGateway.com. The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C. Web. 23 Feb. 2012. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+15%3A12-15&version=KJV.
O’Brien, Keith. "The Empathy Deficit." Boston.com. The New York Times, 17 Oct. 2010. Web. 15 Feb. 2016.
Proverbs. King James Version. Public Domain, 1987. BibleGateway.com. The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C. Web. 23 Feb. 2012. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+27%3A17&version=KJV.
Proverbs. King James Version. Public Domain, 1987. BibleGateway.com. The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C. Web. 23 Feb. 2012. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+17%3A17&version=KJV.
Weiss, Lawrence, and Marjorie F. Lowenthal. "Perceptions and Complexities of Friendship in Four Stages of the Adult Life Cycle." Proceedings of the Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association (1973): 777-78. Web. 15 Feb. 2016.
