Introduction
While sexuality is a fact, LGBT community members constantly struggle with coming to reality with their sexuality. Many of LGBT community members face discrimination and societal admonition that hinders open declaration of sexuality (Ncadi, 2012). Gay people often ponder at the thought of coming out. Some gay people struggle with sexuality on their head saying, “perhaps it is a decent if I stay in the closet and act like heterosexual and not gay”. In addition to getting worried about proclaiming or not proclaiming, gay people are also worried about the people to trust. They often wonder when to confide on family, friends or work mates (Simomi, 1996). This study aims to explore some of the challenges faced by members of the LGBT community.
Personal Experience
Perhaps the best way to bring the point about homophobia is to tell you a personal experience with the situation. I am hoping that the story will help bring the gravity of the situation home. For many people who are not friends with gay people, knowing what gay people go through would be comparable to former president Bush knowing the top ten videos at the BET. My cousin and I were friends with a gay person. At school, the gay friend of ours kept to himself and did not disclose his sexuality to people around him. Because were close to him, we were able to tell that he was gay due to his mannerisms that were peculiar to straight guys.
When our friend graduated from high school, he started openly expressing his sexuality. While walking in the neighborhood people would yell words like “fag, bitch” to him, other would call him but-fucker and other mean words. Most of the people making fun of him were close friends who knew him all his life. One day, we went for a soccer tournament (our friend was also a soccer player). We placed our backpacks on the sideline and dressed to play. After the game was over, we went back to dress up so we could go home. Our friend, who was, gay, found a monstrous clay penis in his bag with the words “a generous gift for a fag”. This event shocked our friend beyond words. He spent the one-hour drive back home silent. Our friend was subjected to several abuses in the neighborhood. After about a year, he moved out of the neighborhood to a new city because his life was just unbearable.
However, the discrimination towards him because of his sexuality did not end. One day we went to his family’s house so we could say hi to his mother. Her mother refused to talk to us about him. It was only later that we learned that our friend James had committed suicide. His suicidal note read: “it is difficult to be gay. This is a straight world. I am better off dead.” James has made have an intrest on gay rights. I am doing this research for him. My purpose to create a bond between heterosexual communities with the gay community. Gay married people should unite with heterosexual married people. Fundamentally, there should be a societal education on the lack of threat from gay rights. Their sexual problem is a personal issue and not a public discourse.
The Pew Research Center for People and Press (2011) pointed out that in a research carried out in October 2011 that the American public is torn right in the middle about legalization of gay marriage. Forty six percent of Americans favor gay and lesbian marriage while forty four percent are opposed to the idea of gay marriage. Remarkably, the American public has continuously grown supportive of gay rights in the last fifteen years citing a defining generational change that would probably make the debate extinct in the next two decades. However, gay marriage still faces obstacles that continue to daunt the smooth transition. Religious groups in America especially Protestants in the Baptist churches, Moslem communities and the Jewish community still consider gay rights a taboo topic. Scholars question what makes gay rights a taboo topic. Is it the lack of understanding of gay people? Could be due to the continued heterosexual indoctrination that has perpetuated the thinking that marriage is right only when it involves men and women? (Longerbeam et al, 2007).
Problems of LGBT in the Society
Longerbeam et al (2007) reported that gay people often remain closed because of the hostile climate they experience in college campuses. Several researches conducted in1980s documented unwelcoming, threatening, and unsafe for members of the LGBT. Yale University’s 2003 survey reported that 26 percent of gay people received physical assault threats from peers and 50 percent were verbally assaulted. Additional researches have constantly shown a stronger resistance of gay people coming out of the closet because of the fear of their peers and the society. Perhaps a sizeable insinuator for worthlessness among gay people is internalized homophobia. American culture is not particularly friendly for gay people. For this reason, many people make fun of gay people by using derogatory words such as fag, but-fucker and others. Sometimes these words are spoken with people who are unusually close member of the LGBT. Such situations are difficult to handle and hinder the freedom and happiness of gay people (Rupp, 2001).
The problem of family acceptance is a struggle in the gay community. Family members may take a while or not accept a gay person’s identity. This may lead to feelings of rejection and worthlessness. Perhaps a big insinuator for worthlessness among gay people is internalized homophobia. American culture is not very friendly for gay people. For this reason, many people make fun of gay people by using derogatory words such as fag, but-fucker and others. Sometimes these words are spoken with people who are very close a member of the LGBT. Such situations are difficult to handle and hinder the freedom and happiness of gay people.
Historically, members of the LGBT, particularly homosexual man have been known to lack commitment to relationships. Reasons for constant break up among gay men have not been known. However, research has pointed out that like all relationships, gay marriages need external support to thrive; the absence of external support makes it difficult for these relationships to succeed (Lynn, 2011).
The argument that children raised by gay parents are more likely to become gay adults is null and void. To prove their worth as parents, gays and lesbians normally try to raise children in a manner that the “children do not grow up to be like them” (Moore 2001). Studies have also shown no evidence of disturbances in the sexual identity development of the children (Badget, 2009). Common evidence that the children of gay parents are normal and healthy is the fact that they grow up and lead heterosexual lifestyles. Let’s give credit where it’s deserved. Which heterosexual parent would be happy to raise a child who grows up to become a gay? Which Christian parent would be happy to raise a child who grows up to become a non-Christian? But the gays always raise and are happy to raise children who grow up to become non-gays. Most gay parents would never wish that their children struggle against the same prejudice they’ve gone through and this is why they’ll always try to raise children who grow up to lead heterosexual lifestyle ( Rupp, 2012). A question, whose answer I seek to find, is, “Who raises the children who grow up into gay adults? Are they not the very heterosexual parents who now want to demonize gay relationships? Let us learn to see our own mistakes before condemning others mistakes that are even lesser
When gay relationships are kept private, the rights to committed gay couples are denied (Moore 2001). Legally recognized heterosexual couples have numerous laws protecting them. When kept private, gay couples are denied such rights. Some of the legal benefits tied to legally recognized couples include the access to spouse’s medical, disability and life insurance; privileges in medical decision making and hospital visitation, spousal benefits under the retirement plan and annuity, compensation survivor benefits of the workers, and many other benefits. These are instances of discrimination on the basis of the legality of the marriage. Worst still, unmarried same sex couples have no option of being legally married as compared to their heterosexual counterparts (Moore 2001). On this premise, same sex relationships should be treated just as heterosexual relationships.
The arguments herein are both legal and social. The legal arguments in support of same sex relationships gain more popularity since gay marriage is a matter of basic civil and equal rights to all. Even if such relationships were harmful to the society, the dignity and equality of every person, to the exclusion of none, should at least be respected. In addition, there should be substantial empirical grounds to believe that same sex relationships are harmful and should be kept private.
Work cited
Badgett, M. V. Lee. When Gay People Get Married: What Happens When Societies Legalize Same-Sex Marriage. (2009) New York University Press.
Bauer, G., & Wayne, L.. Cultural sensitivity and research involving sexual minorities. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 37(1), (2005) 45-47.
Longerbeam, S., Inkelas, K., Lee, Z., & Dawn, J. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual college student experiences: An exploratory study. Journal of College Student Development, 48(2), (2007). 200-25
Lynn D. W. A Critical Analysis of Constitutional Claims for Same-Sex Marriage, Brigham Young University Law Review, 2001 :1-101
Ncadi, S. What is the Meaning of LGBT? Retrieved July 5, 2012, from Centersite website: http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=7862&cn=55
Moore, L. Points In Defense of Gay Marriage, 2001. Web.10 June 2012. http://www.angelfire.com/home/leah/
Phew Forum (2012, February 7). Religion and Attitudes Toward Same-Sex Marriage. Retrieved July 24, 2012, from The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life website: (2012, Feburary)http://www.pewforum.org/Gay-Marriage-and-Homosexuality/Religion-and-Attitudes-Toward-Same-Sex-Marriage.aspx
Rupp, Leila J. Toward a Global History of Same-Sex Sexuality. Journal of the History of Sexuality. ( April, 2012) Vol 10.2: 287-302
Simoni, J. M. Pathways to prejudice: Predicting students’ heterosexist attitudes with demographics, selfesteem, and contact with lesbians and gay men. (1996) Journal of College Student Development, 37, 68-78.
