Masculine and Feminine love stems from the enduring love , which is the relationship between devoted lovers, husband and wife, parent and child. These relationships are made of care, assistance with physical and emotional attachment. However, in America enduring love become complicated due to the aspect of work and feelings and it was divided into feminine and masculine love by the separation of home and workplace.
In explaining the meaning of love, feminist scholars are divided based on the question of love and gender. Nancy Chodorow’s psychoanalytic theory argues that both boys and girls have powerful identification and intimate attachments with their mothers. Based on this theory, boys grow up into men and end up repressing the identification and in the process they limit the ability for intimacy (Kimmel and Amy 87). On the other hand, girls retain early identification because they will grow up to be women and throughout their lives females view themselves as connected to others. This theory implies that love is feminine where women are more open to love than men, and the gender difference will remain as long as women are the main caretakers of infants.
Other scholars have used the Chodorow’s theory to generate the idea that love and attachment are vital parts of women’s personalities but not of men’s. For instance, Carol Gilligan’s influential book on female personality argue that women define their identity based on standard of responsibility and care. The predominant female image is on network connection which is sustained process of communication. On the other hand, males favor a hierarchical ordering which is marked by violence and imagery of winning and losing. Therefore, feminine love is expressed when women are only moderately superior to men in love. They tend to have closer relationships and care more about themselves and seems to be more skilled at love. For instance, on those aspects of love that involve expressing feelings and being vulnerable. Women tend to put family bonds first while the men put them first or second along with work. On the feminine perspective, love is clearly very vital for both sexes.
Masculine love arises when men tend to have a distinctive style of love, which focuses on practical help, shared activities, spending time together and having sex. The research carried by Margaret Reedy on married couples indicated that practical help and spending time together was more vital to men. Men described themselves as sexually attracted but show less importance to emotional security. The masculine love demonstrates how men tend to separate sex and love and sexual intercourse is a very meaningful way of giving and receiving love for many men. Therefore, sexual intimacy is considered a masculine way of expressing love. Similarly, masculine style of love emphasis on importance of resources such as money and protection. The masculine perspective of love argues that women marry for money and status, therefore se marriage as instrumentally rather than emotionally. Therefore, men’s style demonstrates the popularly conceived masculine role of being a powerful provider.
Feminization of love is the division of gender roles in the society, which contributes to the two separate styles of love. It leads to political and moral problems that would be mitigated with the androgynous approach of love.
Negative consequences of feminization of love are that it works against some of the main values and the goals of feminists and contribute to the devaluation and exploitation of women. There is a clear difference between men’s and women’s style of love. Men’s style involves giving women vast resources such as money and protection that men control. On the other hand women believe they need these resources and ignore the resources that women control and men need. Therefore, there is an overt dependency in both women and men, which creates power based on social exchange theory ( Cancian 548).
Another negative impact of feminized perspective on love is that legitimates impersonal, exploitive relationship in the workplace and the community. Similarly, feminization love reinforces the power difference by focusing on belief that women need love more than men. The effect of this belief is to intensify the imbalance dependency of women on men. Feminization of love intensifies the conflict over intimacy between women and men in close relationship. For instance, women start wanting more closeness and verbal content while the men withdraws and wants less pressure. Women need for more closeness is partly the outcome of the feminization of love, which encourages women to be emotionally dependent on men.
The androgynous perspective of love is that both the feminine style of love and the masculine style of love represent necessary parts of a good love relationship (Cancian 552). The androgynous perspective on love based on both instrumental and expressive, is that there should be a way to make relationships more loving. In this case, women and men must reject polarized gender roles and integrate masculine and feminine styles of love. For instance, currently some women are taking the Jobs that were meant for men and are becoming the breadwinner for their families. From the androgynous perspective, the practical help and physical activities included in the masculine love are as much part of love as the expression of feelings. For instance, women like to be surprised with a gift by their men partners, others view sex as a way of expressing love. Therefore, this androgynous perspective is extremely right about factors that contribute to the expression of feelings.
Works Cited
Cancian, Francesca. "The Feminization of love." American Psychological Association 11.4 (1986): 545-554.
Kimmel, Michael and Amy, Aronson. The Gendered Society Reader. New York: Oxford University Press, 2011. Print.
