Gender identity development is one of the parts of our socialization when we do not pay much attention about. People are surrounded by their peers and they believe that the way they behave is the right one, so they chose the pattern of behavior that looks more appropriate. I agree that in order to grow up in a complex personality we need to build up an open dialog with ourselves .
The gender norms are internalized from our surrounding. Parents, friends and other social institutions are usually giving us the comprehension what is more masculine or feminine . However, they not simply indicate these categories, but also pick one that is more suitable for the person, even when it is actually not. All in all, when people are starting playing this gender normalized game, they are getting lost in it, which can cause a lot of inconveniences in the future.
For example, I believe that the presented story of Steve and Lisa are quite common in everyday life. Both of them were forced to act in the way they did not want to. The mechanism of these actions, however, was different. Steve adapted his habits and behavior according to what was fashionable. He went to the gym, started the friendship with popular guys and all this he has done in order to impress Lisa. On the other hand, Lisa has changed her behavior because it was expected of her. The basic gender stereotypes turned her from the studies to parties, boys, and gossips. I believe that both of them were somehow unhappy because of what they were doing. The thing these stories have in common – is the peer pressure that changed people’s identity according to some appropriate pattern. This phenomenon was described as “going underground” in order to preserve the relations in the social group . This is how teenagers act when they want to look more acceptable to the surrounding society.
We all know similar situations. Some of us could probably recognize themselves in the described stories. The negative point here is that not all the time when these adaptations occur, people are satisfied both with the process and the result. The groups they are entering are not all the time their referent ones. In this case, we can speak about the disconnection from the personality , because, basically, people are implementing in life others’ wills.
Our surrounding is giving everyone various labels. When we are teenagers, it can affect us even stronger. For example, almost in each class in the school, there are always different companies that are having certain characteristics. There are always beauty queens and nerdy girls, the sports team and marginal loners. People are living with these labels that they have put on each other and it can not only define the way they will perform but as well separate one from each other. It means that under other circumstances, the so called beauty queen would easily become a best friend with the boy from a punk rock band. However, because of their prescribed statuses in the class, their communication becomes more complicated. Sometimes it can also be saturated with the prejudices against a certain group. Luckily, there are various situations when these barriers are falling and people are starting enjoying the communication they way it is. We can see how it happens even through various modern movies about the teenagers and schools.
The period of gender socialization in educational institutions is difficult both for the person and the surrounding. For the person, it is hard because he or she is forced to act appropriately and for the society – because they need to recreate these stereotypes and expectations. This creates a certain vicious circle where no one is actually happy in the end.
The described problems with labels and expected behavior can be more complicated when it comes to race and the level of income . Here we can observe even wider specter of prejudices and stereotypes that can negatively affect young people. It is especially harmful considering the fact that teenagers are very sensible and are just formulating their personality. These negative situations could simply make something go wrong. In this case, they are forced to show the resistance or any another form of oppression that is also a negative thing.
The behavior of people can be determined by some concepts that are dominating in the society. For example, this is how for guys it would rather be the concept of power . It is easy to understand even by the way the author described the biggest fears of boys and girls. The girls were afraid of being murdered or raped when guys were simply afraid of being laughed at . It seems quite incomparable, but this is how the society made them think so. Here we can understand the level of pressure the masculinity makes on females. In my opinion, these fears are very clear markers of gender inequality.
The people that are about to help with all these problems are another adults and teachers. We can see even by the way Lisa from the story behaved. She went to the teacher, the person with more experience, the notion, and comprehension of the situation. This is why is it very important for the elder generation not to simply recreate the stereotyped norms, but to help young people to overcome the hardness of the period. All in all kids and teenagers are growing up, graduating from their schools and universities and become the adults. Afterward, the big part of the way they are going to behave depends on how they would be taught now.
Reference
Nakkula, M. T. (2013). Understanding Youth: Adolescent development for educators . Cambridge: Ahrvard Education Press .
