Spring, 2016
I was raised in the conservative Christian family in the atmosphere of strict rules and respect toward elder people, especially toward parents. My mother is a nurse and my father is a pharmacist. I also have one younger and one elder brother.
My parents raised me and my brothers using authoritative parental style. They were highly controlling and demanding and disciplined us for minor misconducts. However, I`m very glad that my parents were so strict, demanding and controlling they made me a good and respectful person.
The theory of Skinner can be applied to how my parents raised me and how they taught me to respect other people and social rules, standards, etc. Skinner indicated that a particular type of behaviour, particular habits can be learned due to positive, negative reinforcement or punishment.
If I behaved inappropriately, demonstrated impoliteness or bad manner my parents spanked me. Their spankings were the punishment for me. The desire to avoid this punishment stimulated me to be respectful, nice, polite and did not violate rules that were established at my home.
I can also suppose that in those situations when I behaved appropriately my parents or other people gave me a positive reinforcement by praising me for my behavior and personal trait. Also, my inner feels of pleasure and self-respect could also play the role of positive reinforcement.
So I can say that I became a respectful person with good manners due to my nurture rather than genetics. I learned what behavior is good and what actions are bad due to an influence of my parents who punished me for misbehaviors and encouraged me to be a good person by negative reinforcement (mu desire to avoid the punishment).
Of course, I could not learn to be the respectful person without observing this type of behavior in my environment. That is why the theory of Bandura also can explain why I have become the person who I`m now.
According to social learning theory of Bandura, we learn some types of behavior, emotional reactions and other not only be getting , punishment, positive or negative reinforcement for own behavior but also by observing and imitating a particular behavior and actions of people from real life or characters from movies.
So I can suppose that I learn how to behave properly, how to be polite and respectful not only because my parents punished me for my misconducts, my disobedience, etc. but also because I observed that my parents were polite, respectful. Also, according to Bandura`s theory, I learned to be polite and respectful, to demonstrate good manners because I saw that my parents were praised and positively reinforced for these qualities.
According to the theory of Kolberg, there are several levels of moral development. I believe that when I was junior I demonstrated respectful and polite behavior because I cared about own interests. I was on the lowest level of moral development and my moral standards depended on how these standards satisfied my needs and interests.
However, now when I have become older, my moral behavior, including my respect for other individuals, does not vary in dependence on situations, circumstance or my personal preferences, desires and needs. I have become moved to higher levels of moral development and I behave respectfully toward other individuals because it is my innate moral standard and rule.
The event which influenced my life significantly was a sad event. When I was a little child I had a brain tumor. I had gone through the brain surgery. As a result of this surgery, I lost the opportunity to join the army. And without joining the army I could go to school for free. That was the reason why I had to become a welder.
The work was a highly paid one. However, I was not satisfied with it. I experienced disappointment working as a welder because I had other dreams and higher expectations about my life perspectives. And now I am a student. I came back to school for M.R.I. Technician. I believe that regarding my situation with the job, my disappointment and dissatisfaction with it the theory of Maslow can be applied.
The central idea of humanism is that the main force which drives a human`s life is a tendency to self-actualization. According to humanistic theory, that nature of people is kind and that person naturally strives for a better life, for self-development, etc. Also, according to Maslow`s hierarchy of needs, people have needs of different levels.
There are needs for safety, comfort and other on the lowest level of hierarchy. However, there are also needs for self-development, self-actualization, self-expression and fulfillment of one`s potential, etc. at the highest levels of the hierarchy.
Maslow indicated that, as a rule, that after satisfaction of needs of lowest levels people begin to experience needs of highest levels of the hierarchical system. It means that if a person, for example, experiences physical comfort and has enough food, the place where one can live, this person will be more likely to strive for self-development, cooperation with other people and other.
Applying ideas of Maslow`s to my life experience, I can say that working as a welder I had the possibility to satisfy my basic, physiological needs, but I did not have the opportunity to fulfill my potential, to develop, to be creative, etc. That is why good salary for my work did not bring me happiness.
Maslow also pointed out that people are “desirous” creatures. It means that humans never stop to want something. Satisfying one need a person begins to experience new desires and needs. This idea also can be applied to my situation.
When I began to work as a welder I wanted to become financially independent, I wanted to have financial stability and be able to provide myself with appropriate nutrition, living conditions, etc. But when I satisfied these needs, the need for self-development became actual one for me and I decided to continue my education.
Also, I can apply to a situation with work and education Erikson`s theory of psychosexual stages of development. According to this theory, a person goes through several stages of development in different age periods. Every stage has some dilemma or conflict. A person can fail to resolve a conflict of a particular stage or resolve a conflict successfully.
According to the Erikson`s theory, I in that age when people may go through the sixth stages of development and resolve the conflict between intimacy and isolation. Hover, it seems to me that I`m now on the fifth stage of psychosexual development. It is the stage of exploration and searching of own identity. And, as a rule, this stage occurs during adolescence.
In my case, as I suppose, that I did not define my identity, my professional interests and my personal desires and goals during adolescence. Obviously, I stayed on the fifth stage of development. That is why at the age of 26 I came back to college trying to set new professional goals and find my professional identity.
My parents taught me to value such things as stability, family ties and relationships, education and life-long self-development and learning. My mother is a nurse and she taught me her on the example that it is important to serve to other people, to help them and to find the meaning in this process. My mother taught me that every human has a unique personality and that it is important to understand a value of every person.
So I can to conclude that some of my values also were learned by me by observations for other people`s behavior, actions, traits, etc. Observing my mother behavior and her demonstrations of what she valued in her life I learned to value and respect other people and be a humane person.
Also, such my value as self-development can be explained by the theory of Maslow. As it was said above, according to humanistic theory, people have innate and natural tendency to strive for development and personal growth. So this my value is determined by my innate desires and not only by learning it from my parents.
However, not only parents were those people who influenced my value system. My friends, my peers, my school and work environment and I myself also have the impact on what I value in my life.
I believe that I have more extroverted characteristics than introverted one. For example, I`m very witty and I like to make people laugh. I never use my sense of humor to make fun of other people, my jokes are always kind and respectful, and I do not like sarcasm. My good sense of humor helps me to socialize, to establish friendly relationships with other people. I like to communicate and interact with people, I`m very sociable and it is easy for me to find the common language with strangers.
I believe that my wit is the trait which is determined by both nature and nurture. However, the result of one twin research indicated that sense of humor is that characteristics which depend more on environmental influences than on heritability (Cherkas, et al., 2000). So I can suggest that more significant role in the development of this my trait played my environment.
I perceive different problems, difficulties, and times of crisis in my life as a chance for personal growth. Of course, life difficulties, problems bring much stress in my life and destroy the stability of my life. These moments are not easy for me to experience. At the same time, I believe that crises happen to make people stronger and better. So I try to consider different life situations as “the life lessons”, as the opportunity to learn something important, to gain new experience.
Such my perception of life events was not always as positive and optimistic as it is now. When I was younger I perceived many situations as a threat. I was afraid of unexpected changes in my life and I did not tolerate own mistakes, losses or external changes in my environment. I thought that everything should be perfect, that I should be perfect, etc. That is why I reacted to adverse life events and own mistakes negatively.
But now I know that even adverse life situations can lead people to positive outcomes, to success and happiness. I began to perceive my life events as less stressful because I gained some experience and my appraisal of external situations changed.
According to Lazarus theory of cognitive appraisal, people react to the stressful situation differently, on the basis of their cognitive appraisal of a situation and on the basis of their expectations about a situation.
I can suppose that when I was younger and less experienced I appraised different situations as more threatening because I expected some negative consequences of these situations for myself. But eventually, my expectations and evaluations about future negative outcomes of particular events began to change and became more optimistic. As a result, I have become less likely to experience stress when I face problems, critical situations or unexpected events.
I think that my brain tumour and brain surgery significantly changed my attitudes about life and my vulnerability to stressful events. It was a critical moment of my life and after that moment, I began to understand the surrounding world and life differently.
Work cited
Cherkas, Lynn, et al. "Happy families: A twin study of humour." Twin Research 3.01 (2000): 17-22.
