More often than not, we often find ourselves in situations where we tend to put our interests before ours. Under such circumstances, we tend to forget that others also have feelings and can be hurt. As such, this insensitivity ends up causing harm to others, which is a form of selfishness.
In line with this, I remember an instance where I assumed neutrality (Gibbs, 440). It was on a Sunday afternoon after we had attended a morning mass with my girlfriend. We then went out for lunch at our favorite spot where we ordered for our favorite meals. We had a nice time but that was before the large screen right in front of us started airing a live game. Unfortunately, all my attention shifted to the game. It was then that my girlfriend, in an attempt to get my attention back, decided to stretch her hands and cover my eyes in a playful manner. Unfortunately, she touched a glass that was on the table and the water spilt over, some splashing to her clothes.
“This is all your fault”, she said, “had you not been swept away by the action, we probably would still be enjoying our meal. How will I walk out in this clothes, its pathetic!” she lamented.
At this point, the game was so catching and my concentration was fully gone. In fact, I thought it served her right so that next time she would not distract me. In a manner indicating passiveness and neutrality, I said without even looking at her, “Had you not tried to show some public display of affection, you would still be dry. Anyway, just sit back and relax, it will soon be dry.” My eyes were still glued on the screen.
Needless to say, my indifference really hurt her. She just sat there without saying a word till the game was over. She then requested me to drop her home and that was the last I saw or heard of her. It has been three days now and she is neither receiving my calls nor calling back. Our relationship has become a bit cold.
Looking back now, I realize that I should not have reacted the way I did. The moment her dress was messed up, I should have acted with more empathetically (Gibbs, 441). That is, I should have in the least offered her a piece of cloth with which to wipe her dress. In as much as this could not have fully solved the problem immediately, there is a probability that it could have prevented the ice that developed between us. I realize the mistake that I did and wish that I could turn back the hands of time so as to correct it. However, it is said that experience is a good teacher, but I tend to differ and concur with the radical argument that it is the worst teacher, giving a lesson after the test, which most people fail.
I am more informed now and I know how I should have handled the situation and how to react in similar situations in the future. The incident has really been hard on me, but I realize it was my entire mistake. Once we get over this, I will be more keen on my communication skills.
Work Cited
Wood, Julia T. Communication Mosaics: An Introduction to the Field of Communication. 2006. Wordsworth: Cengage Learning. (pdf)
