One out of every four girls is sexually abused during her childhood. This is a surprising statistic in itself but what most people don’t know is that one out of every six boys is also sexually abused before the age of eighteen. The median age for this abuse is only nine years old. At that age many children have no idea what sex is and in some cases don’t know what is being done to them at first. The trauma of sexual abuse will often haunt that person for the rest of his or life. Those who suffer from sexual abuse or assault often find it more difficult to hold meaningful relationships and in some cases find sex with their chosen partners to cause flashbacks and panic attacks. The effect on victim’s lives is widespread and can last a lifetime. No victim reports that they were unaffected by their experience, in some cases the victim finds it difficult to speak about even after they have come forward to report it. “I'm gonna have to cut this short. I'm not gonna be able to do this interview. This is really causing some flashbacks and triggers. I'm already having a panic attack. You're asking some serious questions, and I'd rather just cancel it here.”(Penn) For a girl or a woman sexual abuse is more widely acknowledged as a heinous crime and because of this they have a higher probability of coming forward and reporting their attacker. However, most men suffer in silence and never come forward to press charges. This piece of writing will attempt to explain the reasons behind why it is so much more difficult for males to come forward when they are sexually abused, look at the results of that sexually abuse on the quality of their lives their lives and explain what actions the public can take that will help men and boys feel more comfortable coming forward.
“The moment a man enlists in the United States armed forces, his chances of being sexually assaulted increase by a factor of ten.”(Penn) One of the main reasons that sexual assault inflicted upon males has recently received higher levels of media attention is because the number of sexual assaults in the military has become a public concern. According to one article 6.8% of women and 1.2% of men in our military report being sexually assaulted in 2013. When you take into account the difference between the number of men and women in the military the data shows that two thousand more men than women were assaulted in 2013. (Brown) According to the head of the Pentagon’s sexual assault prevention office “There is still a misperception that this is a women’s issue and women’s crimeIt’s disheartening that we have such a differential between the genders and how they are choosing to report It’s not the damsel in distress; it’s your fellow service member that might need you to step in.”(Brown) According to the author of the article, until the recent surge in media attention regarding the issue military assaults were rarely reported and often dismissed by superiors as superfluous. However, even today the majority of both male and female victims assaulted in the military do not report the assault due to the stigma accompanying a soldier failing to protect his or herself.
One enlightening article entitled “Son, men don’t get raped” reports the story of a male victim in the navy who was sexually assaulted on the warship where he was stationed. Steve Stovey was assaulted in 1999 while sailing to Hawaii where he would be meeting his father for a tiger cruise, which permits family members to visit sailors and see how they live and work. On September 20th Stovey was assaulted by three men in a secluded portion of the ship. He reports that “They threw a black hood over his head, strangled and sodomized him, then left him for dead on a stack of boxes.” (Penn) Stovey was in shock and pain but did not report the incident to his superiors for fear of backlash from the perpetrators of the crime. He says that he contemplated suicide but was saved from his own thoughts by the arrival of his father whom gave Stovey a sense of safety through his mere presence. The sailor says that he could not bring himself to tell his father what had happened to him. The article goes on to report the testimonials of many other men that were assaulted during their enlistments in the military. The title of this piece is a quote given by a soldier of what a doctor told him after he was assaulted. (Penn)
“An overpowering shame prevents many enlisted men from reporting an assault”, and beyond that the fear of retaliation has kept many men from speaking out. Fellow soldiers and even officers will dismiss the claims or outright punish those who report a sexual assault while enlisted in the military. Men could actually be discharged from the military for homosexual acts before the Don’t ask Don’t tell law was repealed. Many men feel that the risks associated with coming forward far outweigh the risk of the assault happening again. Considering that the conviction rate in these cases is only 7% it is not surprising that most victims choose to try to forget about the event altogether. One soldier reports that he did not talk about his assault for nearly fifty years. (Penn)
Most men are raised under the assumption that they are supposed to be ‘manly’. When a young boy cries he is often told that it is unacceptable simply because he is male. Even if his parents intend to raise him without the promotion of gender roles he is likely to encounter the cultural norms away from home, in school and around friends. This mentality of being tough and independent is drilled into most boys from a young age and it has a significant effect on their reaction to being sexually abused. One study found that “boys are less likely to report sexual abuse due to fear, anxiety associated with being perceived as gay, the desire to appear self- reliant, and the will to be independent.”(ncadv.org) It is more socially acceptable for a female to come forward when she is sexually abused because women are, in general, weaker than men. They are told that it is not their fault and they need not be ashamed because they could not stop it. An abused male, especially an adult, will often feel as though he has failed to uphold his role as a man by being unable to prevent the abuse himself.
This feeling of failure and violation for a male is further emphasized by the fact that 86% percent of sexual assaults against male youths are perpetrated by other men, many of who are authority figures. (Men and) When a woman is the perpetrator the assault is taken lightly because the public does not generally acknowledge that a woman can sexually assault a male without his permission. Men are often ashamed by the fact that they were taken advantage of by the weaker gender and refuse to come forward for fear of ridicule. In contrast, when a man is assaulted by someone of the same gender his fear of being seen as weak or gay is the main factor in his reluctance to come forward.
The results of male sexual abuse are similar to those seen in female victims with a few exceptions. Due to the fact that most sexual abuse of males is perpetrated by other males victims are more likely to develop confusion about their personal sexuality and some believe that sexual abuse by a man will turn them gay. This is an incorrect and harmful assumption for the overall wellbeing of the victim. According to the rape, abuse, and incest national network many men suffer from self-blame when abused or assaulted. The site also states that “Many are confused by the fact that they became physically aroused” but this does this is not the victims fault because he has no control over the physiological reaction of his body to the attack. (ptsd.va) Shame is very prevalent among male victims and reduces the probability of them reported the crime committed against them. Males that have suffered from sexual abuse or assault are more likely to develop emotional disorders such as PTSD and they have an 80% probability having a substance abuse problem over the course of their lives. This probability decreases to 11% in men that have not suffered abuse. It will often also increase the chances of risk taking in regards to promiscuity leading to higher instances of HIV contraction. (ptsd.va.gov) Some studies have shown that male victims of sexual abuse are more likely to have sexual thoughts about boys and men themselves. This does not mean that a sexually abused child will grow up to abuse others but research shows that many child molesters were abused themselves as children, usually both emotionally and physically.
Considering the fact that only about 30% of all sexual assault cases are ever reported it is evident that the vast majority of male victims stay silent.(nsopw.org) The only way to cause a change in this statistic is to make it more socially acceptable for men to come forward and report sexual abuse. Media coverage of the problem and public encouragement has been a first step towards this. The article written by Brown states that “Prior to the last year’s series of high profile cases that drew attention to the issue, military sexual assault was rarely discussed in the media and veterans have repeatedly spoken out about the difficulty inherent in attempting to have their cases heard fairly.” This statement carries into the private sector as well. Men do not believe that their cases will be taken seriously and they fear mockery. Many people do not even consider male sexual assault to be a problem and have never considered educating their boys on how to be safe and what to do in the case of sexual assault or abuse. In order for the mentality of the next generation to change in such a way that the stigmas attached to men reporting sexual assault completely disappear, parents need to tell their sons that it is completely okay to report it. It needs to be emphasized that fault never falls upon the shoulders of the victim when sexual abuse or assault is committed, regardless of whether that victim is male or female.
However, we cannot wait for the next generation born to be the first to speak up and report sexual assaults. Increased media coverage in the last several years has drastically increased the number of sexual assaults being reported. “Occidental College in Los Angeles, for example, reported 12 sexual assaults for 2011 and 11 for 2012. But in its report released this month, the school noted 64 reports of sexual violence.” Officials believe that this is a sign of a dramatic change in the number of reports, not the number of actual sexual assaults and they view it as a positive development. The article does not state whether or not the change in the reports included an increase in the reporting of male victims but the trend is encouraging nonetheless.
Sexual assault is a serious crime no matter the gender of the victim. Men need to feel as though they can report incidents of sexual abuse and assault without fear that they will be viewed as less than a real man because of it. No one should feel the need to wait for fifty years before speaking out about something that was done to them against their will. Sexual abuse and assault effect the quality of the victim’s life for many years and sometimes prevent them from having meaningful romantic relationships with women or men. It is a serious matter and not only do parents need to better educate and promote openness with their sons but the public needs to display support for those that have the courage to come forward. In time perhaps the percentage of cases reported will rise and the percentage of cases to report will decrease.
Works Cited
Brown, Hayes. "More Men Than Women Were Victims Of Sexual Assault In Military, Report Finds." ThinkProgress RSS. N.p., 1 May 2014. Web. 30 Nov. 2014.
"Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Website." Facts and Statistics. N.p., n.d. Web. 29 Nov. 2014.
Kingkade, Tyler. "Colleges Are Reporting More Sexual Assaults, And That's A Great Sign." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 12 Oct. 2014. Web. 02 Dec. 2014.
"Male Sexual Assault | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network." Male Sexual Assault | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. N.p., n.d. Web. 29 Nov. 2014.
MALE VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE (n.d.): n. pag. Web.
Penn, Nathaniel. ""Son, Men Don't Get Raped"" GQ. N.p., n.d. Web. 29 Nov. 2014.
"PTSD: National Center for PTSD." Men and Sexual Trauma -. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2014.
