Final Summary Paper
Communication is a complex process that involves words, voice volume, and a tone, body language, the topic of discussion and the communication history between interlocutors. Communication can be called effective, when the recipient understands the message and expresses its meaning back to the sender. Interpersonal communication takes place when two, or more people, exchange their messages and have the roles of a speaker and a listener. Nevertheless, a lecture cannot be called interpersonal because only the lecturer speaks, while the audience listens. One-way communication is also a communication, which is called broadcasting. Interpersonal skills show, how effectively people get along with others, with the purpose of establishing personal and business relations. Perfect communication skills help people to get a good job, move up the career ladder, and are a must for the leadership. Suzanne C. de Janasz et al. (2006) state that communication skills are inseparable with self – awareness, and “self-awareness is knowing your motivations, preferences, and understanding how these factors influence your judgment, decisions, and interactions with other people.” Communication skills and self-awareness help to build the best relationships, which are based on respect, support, trust, honesty, and openness. Moreover, the partners should share responsibility in difficult times and act in accordance to reach a compromise. Understanding of these characteristics will help to build unsurpassed and healthy relationships, and mutual understanding.
Choice of Communication Channel
In the usual communication process, the words are put into a message and sent to a receiver, who interprets it. The medium, which the sender chooses, is called the communication channel. Traditionally, people thought that the success of the conversation depended on the message. However, many people came to believe that the medium of the message is extremely important because the appropriate choice of the communication channel contributes to a better understanding of the message. Letters and e-mail messages are suitable for business communications and, when it is necessary to convey important information, for example, to write refusals, special announcements, or awards.
Since text messaging helps people to write faster and to be concise in their thoughts, this kind of transmission is highly suitable for personal communications. Moreover, text messages do not disrupt a receiver from his, or her, activity. One of the richest channels is the mobile phone. It allows immediate responses and transmits emotions. Thus, the portable is one of the important ways of doing business. Finally, face-to-face meetings allow people to use all of their senses and to receive continuous feedback that is essential to both, the routine and non routine communications. Nowadays, the variety of communication channels exist that help people to choose the most appropriate option, according to the context of the conversation.
Non-Verbal Communication
Everyone has, probably, found himself or herself in situations, in which you observed contradictions in another person’s communication. For example, my friend said he was happy to get a towel as a present, but his face did not show any hint of happiness. Undoubtedly, in such situations, we believe in body language because it speaks louder than words. “Nonverbal communication, or NVC, is the transmitting and receiving of messages without words. Physical and facial expression, subtle gestures, posture—what many call body language—make the message clear,” as studied by McIntosh et al. (2008). In point of fact, body language differs among the cultures and regions, and for that reason it is important to use this particular language properly to completely understand, what specific gestures may say to people.
Gestures usually give signals to a receiver, or receivers, about this person’s condition, whether he is nervous, happy, angry, or shy. Body posture also contributes to communication and hints at hidden emotions. The eyes are the mirror of the soul; - states a famous saying, which undoubtedly places the eye contact as the first priority of communication, followed by facial expressions of the interlocutor to understand the speaker’s real intentions. Avoiding the eye contact at all, looking down all the time or, vice versa, staring at another person, are not the proper techniques in communication.
Communication is extremely effective, when both nonverbal and verbal elements are aligned and sent via the same message. When your speech, for example, expresses one idea and the facial expression conveys another meaning, this may cause the listener’s misunderstanding and a total confusion. There are several universal gestures that will certainly reveal the interlocutor’s real feelings and intentions. For example, crossed arms or legs signal about defensiveness, and resistance. A slouching posture points at a lack of interest in communication and an absence of willingness to participate in the dialogue. Patting on the shoulder means praising and warm attitudes, but avoiding the eye contact indicates that a person has something to hide. Touching the mouth or cheek may be interpreted as nervousness and telling a lie.
Barriers to Communication
Such phenomena as communication barriers are the factors that prevent people from fully understanding the messages and their meanings. Framing problems frequently take place because each person perceives the world in his exceptional way, and has a particular view on the problem and any other issue. These problems usually occur when, for example, people with different background, interests, and opposite opinions, are brought together to work in a team to complete a project. In that situation, to persuade another person one should have a strongly held frame to make other people adopt it.
One of my friends has his own firm and once he told me that he was tired of calling his employees on the meeting to criticize their low working ability, or not completing projects in time. He was interested, why the things did not improve and sometimes became worse. In fact, people create defenses, when they are threatened, or feel under attack and, in such situations, they have no intention to listen and to understand, but think about counter self-expressions. And this is another communication barrier. I advised my friend not to talk about personalities, but complain to a person about the bad results from his department. In situations like the one described earlier, to avoid defensiveness that represents a communication barrier, it is important to avoid the types of communication that threaten other people’s sense of self-worth and instead criticize the problems, but not the people themselves.
Language, either spoken or written, is a primary means of communication, and a failure to use it properly causes communication barriers. Such notions as jargon, vagueness, and verbosity, and linguistic differences, are the primary aspects of a language that create barriers. Vagueness is information that was not clearly stated. Vague information does not provide a clear picture of the situation. For example, people may feel extremely confident about the task they are going to do, but in reality have no ideas or clear understanding of how to manage it. If a manager gives vague instructions, the work is doomed to failure. Verbosity is another barrier that leads to the communication weakness and represents the practice of using too many words to express messages. In this case, listeners miss the main idea and feel confused. Jargon or sublanguage saves time for people who understand it, but for others jargon may seem confusing, vague, and even annoying.
Gender and Cross-Cultural Communication
In fact, another cultural background is also a barrier to communication because often migrants have a low command of the English language. Moreover, they bring elements of their cultures and language that present challenges for the colleagues and interlocutors. For that rationale, in the process of communication with people from other countries, it is essential to keep written and verbal communication legible and simple. Besides, people should avoid slang and idiomatic expressions that are not standard in the language and may cause confusion, and even misunderstanding.
Checking periodically for understanding is important for the speaker to know the level of understanding but it is not enough to ask simply, “Do you understand?” because the answer “Yes” does not assume that the person really understands. In addition, it is advisable to understand the nuances of the other culture because various differences may seriously halt the process of communication, for example, between the Japanese and American interlocutors. People should be aware of gender differences accepted in other countries, especially the Muslim, or the Middle East countries. Awareness of a different sense of the personal space, the level of formality, and the body language may either help or spoil the conversation, if the person is ignorant of the other culture and traditions.
Women and men view the purpose of communication in a different way; as a consequence, it brings different styles of communication. Women use the process of communication as a tool to establish relationships, while men communicate to achieve tangible results. In fact, women are more expressive and polite, while men are more reserved and assertive. Women are enthusiastic to socialize, but men strive for independence. Thus, women and men are different in their communication styles because they have dissimilar needs, values, and goals. Overall, understanding of these differences and the ways how genders communicate plays a vital role in creating successful relationships.
Effective Listening
When people think of communication, they identify it as the process of speaking or writing. However, effective communication involves receiving information and listening, which is as important as speaking; since a back-and-forth dialogue has been established, listening becomes an obligation. Nevertheless, listening is not the same thing as hearing because hearing is the process of perceiving sounds and separate words; whereas listening is interpreting and contextualizing of the notions and sounds that people hear. Indeed, as the saying goes that something went in one ear and out the other, it is hearing, but listening happens when people remember the things they talk about.
Being a good listener will bring a number of benefits to a person and will help him or her to create and maintain personal relations. Active listeners are able to catch the essence faster because they perceive everything in the process of communication and react better in conflict situations. Effective listening is a hard work but, definitely, it brings results. Self-communication, self-arrangement, and self-control are the three qualities that are extremely important for developing excellent listening and communication skills. According to Suzanne C. De Janasz (2006), there are three approaches to listening, such as competitive or combating listening, passive or attentive listening, and active or reflective listening. The first type implies emphasizing the listener’s point of view about what was said; the second type is giving no response or opinion to the speaker, and reflective listening means responding to the speaker in the manner where there is no room for misinterpretations or false assumptions.
Undoubtedly, each person has been in situations where the other showed no interest in his or her speech. They expressed it by looking around, biting a pen or slouching in the chair. What is interesting here - effective listeners are not really interested in what is being said but they look interested. There are several tips for expressing interest in the process of effective listening such as maintaining the eye contact, minimizing the note taking, using appropriate facial expressions and body position. Paraphrasing is another important tactic that shows the speaker your engagement in the process of communication. Stating the phrase in person’s own words helps the speaker understand the areas the listener may have misunderstood.
Giving/Receiving/Soliciting Feedback
Indeed, when a person asks our opinion of other ideas or procedures, we must be able to give clear and appropriate answers that will be understood by the audience. And, undoubtedly, each of us seeks feedback on our ideas and actions. Effective feedback does not criticize or judge but describes. For example, a wise boss will never say to his employee such a phrase, “You cannot handle this job”. Instead, he will describe the troubles or the things he wants to be redone. Judgmental feedback prevents the listener from the interaction but creates defensiveness. Effective feedback begins with the positive things and then moves to the areas that are in need of improvement. Moreover, feedback that centers on a specific incident that is less personal but more accurate has more chances to eliminate the problem. In addition, feedback should be delivered almost immediately after the incident has occurred.
One of the biggest mistakes when people give feedback is covering too many topics at once. Focusing on one issue and supporting it with credible evidence will make the person see the main point. While communicating feedback, it is important to choose the right words not to confuse or insult the listener. Such a phrase, “Well, I did not really mean to say what I have said” and so on will be unreceptive because it is essential to choose the words before the process of communication. Receiving feedback, especially when it contains reasonable criticism of the work or actions, is another issue that should be taken seriously. This does not mean that criticizing intends to insult the target person but that parson should be ready to accept it as a valuable experience and a friendly piece of advice. People who are good at receiving feedback usually give the speaker as much time as he needs to express his opinion, and to give full attention to the problems and respond actively to what they hear.
Negotiating and Conflict Management
Problem-solving is the most effective approach to resolving a conflict. In this case, the participants are asked to center on the problem but not on personalities of each other and to understand the root of the problem. Persuasion is an interpersonal skill that is closely connected with power and influence, and it means determining other people to do something. However, do not confuse persuasion with manipulation. The persuasion neither robs people of their ability to choose, nor involves the direct giving orders, meanwhile manipulation does, according to Janasz et al. (2006). When we persuade someone, we direct him to adopt our point of view or attitude to make him believe that it is his idea. According to Suzanne C. de Janasz, here are several persuasion tactics and tips including self-confidence, showing commitment and passion about the issue, good knowledge of the audience, balancing emotional appeals with credibility, using facts and logic, and appropriate nonverbal communication.
People vary in the possible ways of handling conflicts, and there are five main styles of doing it. Avoidance is an uncooperative style and implies people who avoid dealing with the problem and postpone any decisions. Accommodation is a cooperative but unassertive style that is chosen by people who usually give in and take other people’s sides. The compromising is a middle-ground style in which people respect the others; goals and opinions but express their own thoughts. Competition exists when people do not care about the others but insist on the fulfillment of their own ideas and getting of benefits.
Collaboration is the most effective style based on cooperation and results in satisfying the wishes of both sides. Thus, during all stages of the negotiation, it is important to maintain collaboration, as people inevitably face the choices. Moreover, the entire process of negotiation consists of investigation, determining the best alternatives to a negotiated agreement, the presentation, bargaining, and, finally, the closure. Stating such priorities as being patient, focusing on the agreement first and seeing the reality objectively will help to resolve a conflict situation and establish a friendly environment.
References
Janasz, S. C., Dowd, K. O., & Schneider, B. Z. (2006). Interpersonal skills in organizations. Boston, MA: McGraw-Hill.
McIntosh, P., Davis, J. H., & Luecke, R. A. (2008). Interpersonal Communication Skills in the Workplace, Second Edition. AMACOM.
Osland, J. S., & Turner, M. E. (2011). The Organizational Behavior Reader. Boston: Pearson Education.
