Reflection paper
I have really started to pray only when I was a senior. I do not actually recall what gave me an impulse to do so, probably some personal problems or illness. My prayers remained irregular until a year ago or so. I would usually pray before I fall asleep. Obviously, I used to pray for a lot of things, material and emotional bound, for silly stuff and very serious things. But what I have learned from somewhere years ago is that God does not want us to pray much. He wants us to be sincere in our prayers, to put out hearts in it. That is what eventually had the greatest impact on my way of communicating with God. I would not beat myself up for going to bed without a prayer but when I had reason to, whether I was asking for something or expressing sincere gratitude for what I have, I felt need to share it with God.
The most wonderful thing I discovered thanks to the prayers was that after some time of being grateful for what I already have I started feeling myself much happier and satisfied with my life. At the same point, I noticed I started praying for other people, for their heath and wealth. Now I think that someone who is unhappy can not bring happiness into other people’s lives. But the ones who are already happy can share their state of the soul. I have never actually practiced the improper prayers like wishing that someone would be harmed (Kushner, 120). Mostly because I did not want to be center of someone else’s cruel prayers no matter whether they come to life or not.
Also a while ago I stopped trying to find reasons why some of my prayers did not come true. They just did not. Maybe for now or maybe forever. I try to comfort myself with the thought that God knows better although Kushner directly rejects such approach (Kushner, 115). In the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how content with my life and how happy I am so if I find comfort in such perspective I will let it be. At least until I get convinced of the opposite because I am a human and tend to change my mind according to a new experience.
Kushner, H. (2001). When bad things happen to good people. New York: Schocken Books.
