Family Interview
The couple and family interviewed were chosen because they are not typical to the nuclear family. They are an unmarried, cohabitating couple with one child. The mother only speaks Korean, while the father is bilingual, speaking Korean and English. He spent six years working with his company in Korea and met the mother of his child there. They had their child, now four, in Korea, and the three moved back to the United States when his work with the company was completed. They plan on marrying soon; it is a very unique family unit. During the interview, the couple was very forthcoming with information, though I was only able to interpret the female’s actions because I am unable to understand Korean. However, upon translation she appeared delighted to answer all questions at length, as was the male. In the interest of time, we will call them Mr. and Mrs. S.
Concerning spousal roles, Mrs. S prefers to keep the home as a stereotypically nuclear housewife. She recalled how dirty Mr. S’s apartment in South Korea had been until she cleaned it for him, and did not think he did an efficient job cleaning it himself. She admits that in America, because she does not have a college degree, this arrangement works out because she does not know where she would get a job that would make enough money to help support them. Mrs. S also enjoys being home to spend time with their son. Mr. S, then, partakes in typical paternalistic relationships wherein he is the breadwinner, leaving early in the morning to work, returning late in the evening to eat and often go straight to sleep, and spend time with his family on the weekend. While the couple states it is not always ideal, they say it works for them. As parents, they do not believe they take on typical parental roles, as Mrs. S is often forced to be the disciplinarian because Mr. S works long hours during the week. Communication patterns are chosen carefully by each parent. They seem very aware of social control and the power it can have over their son. In turn, they take care to teach him about prejudice and how to avoid it, as well as how to not perpetuate it. It was clear Mrs. S had encountered ethnocentrism since moving to the United States, but the couple worked hard to show their son this was a foolish state of mind, and that all cultures were worth knowing and respecting. Next to American and South Korean symbols in the home could be found books on other cultures in the East, as well as the West. They speak kindly to him, each other, and others, and take time out of their day to teach him kindness and patience. For a four-year-old boy he is incredibly calm and quiet, showing that the time they take to discuss things with him and work with him is evidential. They would like him to experience acculturation because he moved to the United States at such a young age, but also share much of his South Korean heritage with him. The home is filled with South Korean symbols both parents speak to him in South Korean, while both the son and father teach his mother English. It is a very well-oiled and loving family unit.
Decision-making practices within the home are divided based on what the decision concerns. Mrs. S rules over the home unless large sums of money are involved. Therefore, if something small needs to be done around the home, she makes the decision on her own unless it is not time sensitive. If large sums of money are involved, or it is something that will impact the whole family, the couple agrees it is best the decision is made together. Normally in a marriage wherein a Caucasian man marries a woman from a different country, we would see an ascribed status wherein the male would make all decisions but the balance of power appears very equal in this situation. Both parties make honest attempts to keep the home stable for themselves and their child, but also take one another’s feelings and time into account regardless of what they are doing. The power structure is as equal as possible, given that only one parent is making money. Mr. S gives Mrs. S much of the credit for taking care of and raising their son, and accredits her to his calm and pleasant demeanor, as well as how adjusted he is to his new surroundings. The two complimented one another multiple times on various strengths throughout the interview, showing they were not threatened by the other’s status of power, but instead strengthened and invigorated by it. They seemed to make an excellent team and likely were setting a good example for their child.
The main priorities in the home seemed to be very simple. Mrs. S wanted everybody to eat healthy meals and feel healthy. If any of the three felt sick or unhappy in their mind or body it needed to be addressed. Rather than alienate her, as this is a very important part of her native life, Mr. S respected this part of Mrs. S’s heritage and addressed it whenever the issue came up. Mr. S seems to find a sort of caste system important. While it does not seem of crucial importance that his son follow in his footsteps, he did mention on three separate occasions throughout the interview that he would like to see his son in the legal system, working in a law firm, or even working as in international copyright law, as he is right now. In no uncertain terms, it did sound as though Mr. S’s job was his son’s birthright, and something that he would need to aspire to someday. He alluded to looking at colleges the four-year-old would one day need to look into himself. This is the cultural pluralism that has become a custom of many different cultures in the east, as well as the west, so it was relatively unsurprising. However, it was unnerving to hear it spoken about somebody as young as four-years-old.
In sum, while I believed the family to function apart from the typical nuclear family, after examining their dynamic, it appears they are more similar to a nuclear family than I originally believed. Mrs. S takes part in all typical homemaker activities, while Mr. S is the breadwinner for the family. The child is brought up, however, in a bilingual home that teaches him to be against prejudice an accepting atmosphere. Decisions are made together if they are considered big enough to impact the entire family, while Mrs. S holds whole dominion over the home, which is atypical for the normal nuclear family. Their cultural habits are indicative of an American/South Korean family and while conflict theory would assume the two might be against one another at times, such as during their son’s rearing, Mr. S is in constant support of Mrs. S’s parental methods. They appeared to be a functional, well-adjusted family.
Questions
How did you two meet?
How was the transition to America?
Who takes on the majority of the household duties?
Who brings in most of the income?
Is one of you the designated primary caregiver?
Are their certain values you want to instill in your home?
Are their certain routines you follow in your home that is now “typical” for other American homes?
What is unique about your family?
Who makes most of the big decisions concerning money?
Do you think being involved in the community is important?
What is most important for your son to learn about both of your cultures?
What is most important for your son to learn about the world?
What are your priorities as a family?
How much time do you spend together each week?
Would you consider your family a nuclear family?
